because you can be so
perfect and amazing
yet
I won’t lie and deny how much of an
*******
you really are.

I think that’s why I
                             love
                             you.
You let it show
with a grin you don’t care
I don’t care
because you’re that one *******
whom everybody loves.

Your devious smiles
fill my days with happiness.
Enveloped in your arms,
I am protected.

Curled up on your chest,
stroking your stomach.
Even in complete silence
we connect, and every second
is pure joy.

I wish you understood
how much I love you.
How much you mean to me.
If you could listen to my heart,
you would never argue
that you love me more.

Every second with you
is the new best moment
of my life. I hope
that you feel the same.

I hope I’m what makes you
smile at random times,
what pops up in your mind
when you’re alone.
Because that’s how it is
for me.

I want to cut.
I yearn to smell that metallic scent of blood.
Feel smooth crimson droplets roll down my wrists.
Watch them fall to the floor, into a puddle.
Into the puddle diluted with my salty tears.
Weakling. Can't you even take this much pain?
Biting on my lip,
I press the razor down even more,
still crying.
The blood flow increases to an ooze.
A thin stream of blood flowing down my pale wrists.
I feel free, I feel like I'm in control. Only I can hurt myself.
LIES
I'll never be the only one to hurt myself.
Other people still will.
I no longer want to stick around to get hurt.
I want to move on the other side,
to whatever may be waiting for me.
It would only be too easy
I want to sink into oblivion.
One day I will.
*That day is today

is just a word used
to describe me.
You don’t look
long enough at me to really
see though.

I didn’t laugh when I realized
what I was.
It wasn’t new, I knew
how my mind worked.
The word wasn’t new either.
Just the label of being a
psychopath.

The insanity of my sanity
has long since made me
comfortable relaxed amused by my
wild
untamable
uncaring traits.

Who I am
what I am-
it taunts me so dearly,
never leaving my mind.

Resting in the crooks
corners
nooks
that my mind has available.