maybe it's the saltiness they contain
or the emotion that I must chain
but the tears I dare not show
build up a knot in my throat
*I promise they won't flow,
it's too late now I can't let myself go.

maybe it's the saltiness they contain
or the emotion that I must chain
but the tears I dare not show
build up a knot in my throat
*I promise they won't flow,
it's too late now I can't let myself go.

My pillow is soaked in tears
now it's ok, I know that you're still here.
I worried because your nights are full of danger
knowing you're ok is really a game changer.
Hearing your voice say my name
it's quite a relief, and who am I to blame?
I never really call, maybe four or five times per week
but I notice the uncertainty you go through as these warm tears roll down my cheek.*

Dad, I'm so glad you're ok
please be safe because I don't know what I would do
If I didn't see you another day.

I never realized how terrible it was
to pry a hook from a gasping fish’s mouth
because I always had Dad to do the tough parts.

I always had Dad to get his hands ***** so my line could be cast back out into the lake of life with me on the other end of the pole anxiously waiting for my next big catch.

That’s what dads are for.

I never knew what it was like to struggle
putting on a too sticky band-aid.
I always had Dad to get it stuck to his own fingers as he kissed my scrapes better.

I always had Dad to pick up the broken glass around me. He would always be there to pick me up and boost me along my way, always watching close to make sure I didn’t fall harder the next time.

That’s what dads are for.

I’ve always known what it was like to be loved unconditionally.
I’ve always known what it was like to be someone’s #1 girl.
I’ve always known the soft hugs of a protective papa bear.
I’ve always known the loving judgement and watchful eye of the man that loved me first.

That’s what dads are for.

You can think of someone every coming and going second that you’re awake. Every moment you’re conscious your mind can be overrun by them.

But darling, when they consume your dreams, your unconscious brain, that’s when you’re *******.

Hit the ball honey.
HOMERUN!
I hate this game, it’s no fun.

Run fast darling.
Run on back.
Go back to her after your bat says whack.

Play your game.

But is she cheering you on from the stands?
((Because honestly she’s holding other hands))
That’s not what you deserve, that much is true.
But I can take you out of the game,
can’t take it out of you.

Let’s start from the top.

Strawberry strands that may as well be
g o l d e n.

Perfect and pure, like the lips,
kisses to be stolen.

Light eyes full of promises, crystal cool,
a teardrop of an angel in life’s swimming pool.

A voice so sweet and special you see,
especially when he talks,
((tells secrets to me.))

Collar bone ledges that are beautiful just as they’re there,
standing on the edge for a breath of fresh air.

A perfect snow body, pretty like this are few, pale and perfect.
Perfectly you.

All of this body wraps up into one,
into a person so perfect, my work here is done.

When you forget about an apple,
one that you've already taken a bite of,
it turns brown and begins to wither away.

I want the attention that an apple gets to be so very dramatic about.

the brook softly murmurs
Telling secrets to me
I think to myself*
this is how everything should be
*it tells me stories
ones it knows I won't repeat
the creek with its secrets shall
always be told to me

A girl. Saddened.
But her insurance won’t pay for the shrink anymore.
Cause her mama got married, to a man that’s never round. A man that had too, lived in this sleepy town.
Don’t forget about her friends,
the ones that barely exist. The ones that taunt and tease her, the ones with balled up fists.
Even though some try, they never stick around. They always give right up on her and it’s often caused her to frown.
Forgetting to take her meds always,
because she’s just a kid. Meds for her health, but is she even sick?
Good golly gracious, she says that a lot. When things go wrong or she finds her self in an unlucky spot.
Hello, I’ve cried today. The normal, red eye look, thank god it was all over a midnight sun book.
I can’t believe the girl, the one she used to be. With the cute blonde curls, and happy family.
Just wait a minute. Let me talk to you,
stick around to read this thing and maybe you’ll learn too.
Keaton, that’s her last name, a gift from her dad. The perfect man that helps her remember the good times she’s had.
Listen very closely. I’ve lost my will to speak, lost my want to fight because I’ve gotten weak.
Mama’s always gone, all of the time.
She’s never even around to read my HePo rhymes.
No, even when she’s here, I’m all alone.
She’s locked up in her room, or on that telephone.
Oh what I’d give to take a trip on back.
To take a stroll amid my young past.
Papa (grandpa) was always rude
telling me I was “fat” and needed to eat less food.
Quit the shouting please, I don’t want to hear. These voices that are screaming deep within my ear.
Recount all your blessings, hold them close to you. Because the news of someone else is too bitter to be true.
So here I am in bed, tears soaked into my pillow case, leaving trails of salty flames down my ugly face.
To tell the truth, I’m blessed with a roof over my head, but haunted by the monsters that don’t live under the bed.
Unless something happens, and someone’s put on mute, I’ll keep hiding from those mean old things and continue to give you the scoop.
Very real and scary, showing their teeth.
They look okay on the outside, but it’s whats lying underneath.
Well I guess I could tell you a tiny bit more, but there’s a person watching, maybe outside my door.
Yes I’ll stay alive and yes I’ll talk to you.
I really need to thank poetry for helping me get through.

please
what am I to do when I
*want
a salad
but so many
friends and family
want
me to eat a pepperoni roll
and while it's not the healthiest decision for me,
I feel as if the people around me,
won't love me if I don't eat the pepperoni roll
then of course, what is best for me doesn't matter anymore
because even though the salad and its family of veggies
loves me, I
need to feel loved
*even if it is fake by everyone
and by choosing salad I feel guilty
and worst of all unloved..

Deep, deep
beyond the darkest depths of hell
there's this fire burning
that's more heated than anything here on earth
and hotter than any love could ever burn.
Burning stronger than the throat
before tears soak all around,
giving that fire strength.
Even though it's hot enough to keep
too many people warm,
you can't trust it for it's heat
and you must leave before it engulfs you entirely.
Or it will completely consume you.
Your life.
Your loved ones.
It will burn and scar everything it touches and make empty threats to keep you in its inferno.

Beware this fire of satan.
For it cannot be trusted,
it will destroy everything in its way.
No matter how hard you plead and cry,
your words and an ocean of tears
will never put it out.

I bundled the stars and tossed them into the sky
I made them from tears
ones from the right eye.

I held them close to keep me warm
I bundled them up
to keep them from a raging storm.

I put them there for you, you know
Beautiful eyes gazing
at my pretty star show.

I bought you two cards,
The perfect match
and
the two of us
they were the type of card that you find after looking through what seems like a million. the one that perfectly described us The perfect cards, that had the words that I wanted to say.

a crumpled box of conversation hearts
you know the little candies that no one really likes, but they love the fun messages? you love those apparently, I bought you some boxes. I was going to give you a box, despite our condition, but I crumpled it in my fist in the school hallway instead.

*why can’t i stop loving you?

a little
bakery.
flowers of life,
not of fabric.
love and bliss.

then there was nothing left.
of the crème brûlée.

I thought I loved the warmth of the sun.
Really, I love the warmth your body offers.

I thought I treasured the moments where
my skin was chilled, and my breath was smoke.

Really, I ache for the chills your lingering fingers
trace onto my skin, and how you take my breath away.

I thought that my favorite was the comfortable coolness,
the perfect autumn.

Really, I love how I've fallen for you.
Better than leaves, of any color, ever could.

his heart seems as pure
as the sun’s sunny rays.
And
his smile hides away
my super rainy days.

A person so sweet, soft to touch
a person like this is few, not enough.

the sound of silence
A sound heard often by me
Biting my tongue
When I just want to scream

The pain rises to the very edge of my lips
Just wanting to shout even though I can't
Because that's not what I'm about
But it boils inside me, the words, like demons wanting out

the sound of silence
Can you hear it ringing?
The pain of staying quiet
When all you need to do to relieve it is simply
**scream

I'm excited for the first ***** dishes that we'll have to wash
even though I hate the feeling of wrinkled, wrinkled, wrinkled fingertips
from too much water and dish soap.

I'm excited for the first time we have to throw in some laundry
even though I secretly cannot stand how they feel straight out of the wash,
on their way to the dryer.

I simply cannot wait until we make our messy bed
because maybe that's one part of our messy, messy, messy lives
that we can always revisit and fix together.

I cannot wait to get to spend my earliest dawns and latest dusks
loving, loving, loving you
for everything and through the messes.

I can't wait.

everyone asked why I wore that little, pretty, black dress to school today.

(with the too lilac shoes)

“what’s the occasion?”
or
“you look so pretty today, you never wear dresses! what’s special about today?”

come close, I’ll tell you the special secret about today:
Olivia didn’t want to put on pants this morning.

His eye
Was so
Creepy

I tried to
Be stealthy
Ah! but the door
It was
creaky

He shouted aloud
As I did the deed
Now he was dead
I could finally
sleep

Nothing against him
Not one grudge
But the vulture eye I
Tell you, he looked like a
creep

The men finally
Come over
Searching my home
But there's something
It's ticking, driving me
mad

Oh Lord!
The guilt I can stand it no more!
Look!
Here, under the floor!
They take me away
But I go knowing that it's
The most fun I've ever
**had