Literally just go away
My power is out
I'm cold
Bye

If these cold, cold, bitterly cold snowflakes
turned into kisses,
a constant blizzard would take over you.
If the winter were love,
we'd embrace it like none other.

If snowflakes were kisses,
I would mold one giant snowball
and throw it right into your face
to knock you down
so we could make snow angels
because we're in Heaven.

hi. hello.
I'm doing somewhere between overly happy
(to the point I'm smiling like an idiot)
and utterly disappointed
(in you and myself)
you are indeed overwhelmingly beautiful
or handsome if you please
I can't find my feelings for you or myself
too bad that that's all I really need.

no
I'm not tired because of sleep deprivation
but a different type of tired
a type of tired that doesn't make my eyes
close
but the kind that makes them "water" or even
r o l l

most people that cause me to be in this tired state
really don't know what they're doing because it's who they are.
*They are simple fools.

lost in the gray mountains, a beautiful blanket abyss, I reminded you that quote, “hey we haven’t yet kissed”

it took a few smiles and giggles too, before you guided my lips, gently, to you.

it was everything perfect, funny, and true.
that’s when I learned that I only want to kiss you.

for a life so beautiful, a love so sweet, I sure can’t wait for our lips to again meet.

I’m realizing there’s more and more I do not know.
Like how tall each mountain stands or which way rivers flow.
I think that maybe I’m clueless perhaps
clueless about the love that we have.

Is it not crazy
how one, tiny baby
can change your life
in such a big way?

it's nice to know
that when I scream
my lungs out
but they only hear whispers,
you will be loud for me
*my voice

my sides are carefully caressed,
and my hair is played with in the most random of ways.
the wind spoke to me today, through the tree leaves, and for a second I stopped.
The wind and her flirtatious ways reminded me of you. And I smiled.

I haven't particularly
been active,
and for that I apologize.
But soon I must write,
as fast as education
can make me wise.

I allow my thoughts to wander,
to a heaven scenario,
kisses, hugs, and genuine smiles.

*this is what warms me,
Lord knows I need the warmth
in this fall air

I can’t speak these words to you.
I’ve tried.

I love you so much and


I’m terrified.

but my feelings are stupid
I can't understand them at all.
so that's when I curse the leaves,
with them, I fall

I can finally stop.
I can stop hoping,
giggling,
wishing,
thinking,
and dreaming
about a sure to be nightmare.
**but it's all over now

I was so excited to taste you,
and I loved and cherished everything while it lasted,
but now that it’s over,
I hate the aftertaste.

"When I was a kid.."
"You're still a kid"

Then tell me
how is it fair that you expect me to act like the adult you say I'm not?

Too cold. For April.
But we took a walk because we’re just young and in love, starving for time together.

The ice and snow beat us in the face, clinging to our eyelashes, interrupting our smiles with spits and sputters.

It was cold, too cold. But we held each other close, a fire between our hearts.

Then we went to the gazebo where we simply spoke beautiful words to one another, just us. Our arms were wrapped around one another, clinging like we would never hold each other again.

I told you something, admitted even. It hit me hard, I almost cried. That’s when you spoke sweetly to me, hugged me slightly tighter, and kissed me ever so gently.

but I remember the pinky promise.

among the golden rays of cool sun
amidst the burning crimson of the beautiful trees
with the withering pumpkin
with the falling of the leaves that have died,

we fell in love.

no
you most certainly can not
you can not calm this storm
you my dearest can indeed
calm yourself
after that, i do promise
the storm will pass

I’m drowning my sorrows
     and stealing tomorrows.
Now why should that be a crime?
     if a tomorrow is borrowed, it’s a waste                    
            of my time.

He’ll take her to the dance
why do i try?
Why do I smile,
when he makes me want to cry?
She’s the perfect princess,
he’s the perfect king,
I guess I need to redress,
and learn how to clean.

What am I to do when something makes you yell
     making you seem mad?
How am I to feel when you say "it's ok"
     making your mood hard to tell?
Should I be sorry for something I may not have done?
     *this everyday confusion keeps going on  and on...

I'm tired of hiding behind a wall,
holding my head high,
not letting my chin fall.

I'm sick of putting on a show,
making them smile and laugh,
maybe one day they'll know.

Head held high,
and thoughts held low,
maybe I'll cry, maybe you'll know.

hello
if you're reading this,
im afraid you're reading a chapter
of.. well... me.
today he tried at least
he did
a compliment, or was it?
he looked for a reaction.
but can't I refuse?
a week of long nights
talking to a dear friend
whose name will not appear
trying to prevent the cuts on her skin
cant she refuse?
little things slowly weighing on my mind
every day I wish I were actually the
joyous person I make it out I am.
I'm afraid not
and this realization is something I can't refuse.

Let our love for the Lord become greater!
Let our hope arise!!!
Let our faith be ever so true!
Let our questions grow!
Let our thirst for the Word be an unquenchable one!

Let our hope arise!!
Let our love be strong!

Wonderland is full of madness,
       That's perfect because I am too.

Wonderland is uncertain,
       That's fine because I am too.

To get to wonderland you must fall down a dark hole,
        That's okay I often do.

To be the ruler of wonderland they say you have to be as mad as a hatter,
                           Luckily, I am.

lies
When I believe them
I like the idea of them
Then it's not true
And I fall *apart

I’ve always acted like a five year old.
I’ll pout when things go wrong,
I’ll shy away when you begin to say
that something will take too long.
I’ll hide under my covers, up to my head
I’ll hide in the blankets of my soft bed.
I’ll hide from all of the monsters:
anxiety, depression too
I’ll hide away from those mean old things,
and instead I’ll think of you.
I’ll dream a dream, or I think I might
a closed-eye movie to pass the night.
I’ve never been a fan of the dark,
never a fan of fright.
I’ve always loved the day time,
rather than that of night,
until you came to feel my young head with beauty, love, and light.

The Ocean Blue
Salty like the tears of you
To restore my love what can I do?
For a cloud soars over the deep
*O' I weep
O' I weep!

how can i be myself
if all i want is a different canvas
to paint on for once?

the voice in my head
is rude to me.
how can i get the tears to stop
from going all the way down my face?

this song says to
count to fifty
but how can i get there if i can't
get to 40?

You saw me
I am a willow tree
Swaying my branches
Caressing the breeze.
You saw me sad
As the winter consumed
But you waited for my flowers
Happiness resumed.
All I needed was a hug of warmth
A glimpse of happy spring
So now I’m budding
Because that’s what you bring.

when it rains, darling it pours
my broken spirit is a lot like yours.
broken pieces casting a shadow so bleak
and a tattered heart that’s become too weak.

but remember the Sun, when we can hide for a while.
a time of rest, a time to smile.

autumn is blowing kisses
on summer’s dying wind.

shhh
do you hear that?
muffled voices and my own thoughts
it cuts through my mind like a knife
honestly anything would hurt less than the quiet.

guns locking and loading
ready to fire
without my consent
yet the quiet is still more deadly.