A cigarette clenched between your
lips
you've got it kept secret and you
hide it with everything else behind
your lips
now all I want is to kiss you

I've relied on time too much
I'm aware that I confide on a basic thought
"pretending" to be real...
Although, I'm not the only one who checks their watch
watching numbers change patterns
reminding people of moments forgotten
We've all been tricked
I mean what exactly are you looking for when your alarm goes off
"You have to wait an hour" etc...
That's a waste, you're waiting on things that have already passed
and yet... We've all been tricked
We're not able to actually describe time
Our definitions would include the word time itself
But yet,
I think the only "thing" that can tell time
is Fate.

I saw him in my dreams
The man who always saw potential in me
Who saw all my aspirations before he could see
me achieve them
And so I told him
that he should buy a lake house closer to home.

sometimes I wonder if
these nights in the dark amount
to anything

and then I realize
that I need this
dark more than some people
need me

I don't have anyone around to break my heart
because I can easily create the same effect
all alone
by
myself
It's a torturous cycle
and I'm doing it to
myself

I love too much, but not too often.
My heart gets broken, but I keep going.

I am transparent, iridescent like glass,
So when you strike with the force of a hammer you leave more than a crack.

My heart is fragile, a bird with a broken wing.
I thought you would fix it and make it continue to sing.

I stand tall and confident in all my feelings,
Something that’s scary to you who is not used to these dealings.

I feel shame for the way I am.
Feeling love and passion for you that I wish I could bury in the sand.

A treasure left for you to uncover,
Not something I should have exposed to you undiscovered.

I tend to frighten away the one my heart wants to hold,
Do you see me as crazy, uncontrolled, too bold?

I often take broken loves words and wear them as scars.
Reminders of lessons unlearned and love unforetold by the stars.

I try their words on as an outfit of choice.
If I can change who I am, maybe for once someone will appreciate my voice.

But often times it’s too late.'
My true self exposed in revelations of hate.

No matter how hard I try to mold and bend,
I can’t change who I am, I can’t please every man.

But for some reason I never stop trying.
I can never give up my mind and hearts constant fighting.

I literally drive myself insane for a chance at true love.
I let my mind run wild for an ecstasy that will never come.

Because if I am changing who I am to achieve what I was fooled to see as true,
I’m mistreating myself and I assault my love leaving it ****** and bruised.

It’s funny how the world can constantly build me high,
But it only took you to send me crashing through the sky.

And when I fell and hit the ground,
The armor I built was shattered around.

Underneath it all I could finally see,
The only thing that remained intact was the original me.

I, myself, am my greatest force of nature.
And when I try to change who I am I’m in immediate danger.

The second I wear a mask to fool someone I love,
Is the second that my love is broken, recanted, torn up.
It’s not love if I’m not myself.
It’s not true if I pretend to be someone else.

I’m done being a victim in your insecure schemes,
But I’m also done pretending I walked away perfectly clean.

Yes I am hurt, and yes I wanted our love to be,
But I won’t sacrifice myself for you I’d rather let you go free,
Because somewhere, out there, there’s someone who wants me.

All my imperfections and everything you made me see as faults,
I consider beautiful, rare, a gift to make someone’s world halt.

I’m not sorry for the way I express myself.
I’m just sorry it has to be for someone else.

I love too much, but not too often.
My heart gets broken, but I, I keep going.

Daze off and mute everything
Run away as if you're being chased by anything
Think with an open mind
Close your eyes and become blind
Let thoughts run inside
Pretend there is no way to hide
Don't be afraid, it's only for a while
Once you come back you'll have a smile
Reality is a lovely place too
but I wouldn't want to be there with you
Go off and be pulled in by a dream
Don't worry, it's not a scheme
Trust me and you'll see
Hold my hand and follow me
Yes it's just one out of many creations
So many images, thoughts, and sensations
As long as they aren't wicked
Time will reward you if you're committed

I'm just a soul and you're just a human

Wake up, this is only an illusion

But who else will have peace in their palm
When they lay it across
My ribs
At night.

Who else
As they slumber beneath
A blanket of freckles and
Dreaming eyelids,
Will whisper into the dark air
With a gentle cadence of breaths
The particular softness that cradles my heart
And lets me

Close my aching eyes

And rest.