looking back now
it's the little things that mattered
the simple memories
the game shows
the look in the morning
the way he played with my hair
the way he kissed the back of my neck
he gave me hope i never dreamed of
he made me breath air that i have not breathed before

you form galaxies inside of me
you shoot venom through my veins
and hold my world in the palm of your hand
you release butterflies in my chest
and warm up my heart by the fire burning in yours
you shoot rockets in my mind
that explode into a shade of red that no one has seen
you give me ringing in my ears
that sounds like waves crashing against my body
floating out at sea
for a love that you gave to me and took all of it away
I wish i could give you all of this back.

Opening the locked door of your mind can be hard
some people use drugs
and those that do, either find the key
or have a terrible fate

I think all things are like that.
Keys are hidden all throughout our thought patterns
our lives, our homes, our hearts, and our souls
I don't believe that I lack the ability to find what's behind the door
and neither do you
but I believe there is a world of possibilities
and everything can be possible
if we open up our eyes and our minds
to find wonderland
to find neverland
narnia
heaven or hell
they all exist within our realm of possibilities
we just have to find the key.

I'm scared to death of the feeling
I get when I can no longer feel my mind
taking off into space
and leaving colorful trails of stars and tears
We're hiding so much
and there's so much pain
so I come to that place when my mind
feels amazingly blind to memory
and I'm floating in this superficial
atmosphere I've made for myself

Being alive doesn't seem right
I knew that for a while
but now, it's becoming clear
something was off
and I now realize
that I'm not supposed to be here.
The whole point of life is happiness
and I can't have that without him
or without hope
of self-worth
so there's no reason
that I should suffer through
restless nights and fights inside of my head
over whether I should stay or go
and it's killing me
not being able to tell him

It wasn't just losing the love of my life
it's losing half of my heart
and it's losing my mind
it's losing my best friend
it's losing myself

Please be here when I wake up
because if you aren't
I'd really rather
not wake up at all.

I've never felt so numb
where I can't even bring myself
to type words or to rub the tears from my eyes
because you are the most important thing
I've ever held near my heart
It sickens me to know
that yesterday was the last time
I'd ever hug you
or kiss you or hold you
or laugh with you
or cry with you
because you're gone
sooner than I hoped you would leave.