She was just a sad girl
who wanted to change the world.
She pulled from within
the courage and strength she was gifted
until her vitality ran dry
and she no longer felt strong.
She was told the mountains were too high
the jumps, too wide
the people, too numb
the world, too big.
The sad girl who could have changed the world,
let the world change her.

My body is made up of tiny building blocks
stacked together tightly by those who don't want to see me fall.
But my mind sings words that my heart is too afraid to hear
and as I start to sway, the wind hums
with the rhythm that my mind is playing
my blocks shake and the ones who built me try to silence the music
by shoving magic pills down my throat like I'm some fairy tale.
Late at night when the world sleeps,
my music plays softly through the iron bars in which it is caged in.
I start to dance again and I am finally myself.
But my music is nails on a chalk board.
Angry now, rattling my bones
The blocks fall out of place
with every movement and I feel alive.
I remove my blocks one by one
and I lose myself
My music no longer sounds beautiful
because nothing is beautiful anymore
as my body crumbles
and I realize that my dream,
my paradise,
was a nightmare.

Holding it together
was easy when I was with you.
Falling apart
was easier when I was alone.
There was no one
to keep secrets from
except myself
and if I can't trust myself,
I have no one;
And falling apart
is easier when no one
is around to pick up the pieces
Not even yourself

deep, dark, all alone
the ocean swallows nightmares
and catches your dreams

endless wishes lost
to a demon in disguise
closing in on hope

your ocean, so pure
a beautiful suicide
i failed to notice

the ocean lied, now
you're deep, dark, all alone
consumed by the sea

Diamond beads roll off my skin
Sweaty hands and age old gin
Sunshine pupils in candy eyes,
Crying gumdrops and sugarcoated lies.
Raindrops on my fingertips
Poison blood on broken lips
Black and blue painted thick
Cheeks flushed red; a simple trick
**** yourself but stay alive
On your rotting soul they'll thrive.
The shadows of forgotten thoughts,
Who rap themselves around your heart
And suffocate the breath you wished was gone
Turned my sunshine into war

I don't feel better anymore.

She was alive.
Heart racing, blood pumping, chest pounding
You would never know that she was
mind breaking, stomach turning, happiness fleeting.

She was hanging by a thread
expecting anyone to part it
She held on with all of her might
and pushed away those who made her feel vulnerable

But he stayed and he saw
that the cord she thought held her world together
actually prevented her from getting better.

She held onto burdens
like she held onto her thread
and she would swing
and it would suffice.

He sat and he watched as she cried
and screamed and shook
Because one day
the cord rapped tightly around her neck

"Independent and strong,"
she thought.

But she reluctantly called out for help
and he jumped.

The thread snapped and they both fell
together.
She let go
and so did her hurt.

She was alive.

Please don't try to tell me that my love is not enough
And please don't try to save me, I am too broken to touch

My shattered glass is poison to your complex hopes and dreams
When you try to comfort me, I'll place you somewhere in between

My smile drifts like butterflies looking into weary skies
You give me happy lullabies, and I give you my tired eyes

You bloom like May flowers
While I rain down like April showers

Soon enough you'll get sick of the rain
And search for something sane.

I thought you and I'd fit together like a railroad and it's train
But your sunshine-sweet weather didn't fit well with my pain

What a shame our colors couldn't blend
But Black loved every shade of Blue until the end

And while I watched blue search for hours,
He'd never find a love like ours.