so you think you had it hard?

when you were five years old,
you were given hasbro toys,
when i was five,
I learned how to fold,
and help mom do the laundry,
and tuck my little brother and sister in ,

when you were seven?
you were spoiled beyond your wildest dreams,
when i was seven,
I learned to help make lunches,
and stick up for my little sister at school

when you were ten?
you had the best birthday party,
when i was ten,
I helped mom save up for my sisters birthday present,
that year she wanted a doll house,
and that year she got it, finally

When you were 12,
you went to your first sleepover,
when I was 12,
my daddy lost his job,


When you were 16?
You got your first car,
I bet that was the best part,
when i was 16,
I helped my parents pay the bills,
with my first job,
Are we sitll equals?

the difference between you and me?
some people have to grow up faster than others,
some get to be free, some have a responsibility.

A year ago today,
down to the last minute;
I never thought my whole world
would come crashing down around me.

Tears fall down my face as I remember,
every single thing you said and did;
a year ago today.

I was so scared,
so lonely and heartbroken,
so afraid of the world,
and it took me so long
to find myself again.

Why did I suffer so much?
Why didn't I have the courage,
to end the pain?
I could have, no...
I should have left you.

If I had have known,
that the walls we spent so long building,
were about to come crashing down around me
by your own ******* hand,
I would have prepared myself.

I'll never forget that paralyzing feeling,
that held me in place,
I eventually crumpled to the ground,
and truly cried my heart out.
To this day,
I still, have never cried harder than I did,
a year ago today.

I vividly remember,
as if I were stuck in a bad dream,
the cold sweat,
and the dry air,
the feeling of freezing snowflakes,
sticking to the crystal tears
streaming down my face.

I ran outside and screamed.
I ******* screamed at the world,
and you.
Oh, did I ever scream at you.
I was so confused...
you never gave me a reason why.

And a year ago today,
I still don't know the reason why.

And it haunts me in every single corner of my entire life.

Why did you leave me so suddenly?
Why did you hurt me so bad, so swiftly?
Why did you enjoy my pain?!

That's still what hurts the most.

I remember the days after you left me,
at school...
you laughed at me,
when I crumpled to the ground,
and broke down completely at the mere sight of you.

You laughed,
as I choked on my own tears and sorrow.
You laughed,
as I slid to the floor and passed out,
when I saw you with that other girl.
You laughed at our entire relationship...
2 years and 6 months meant nothing to you,
3 weeks later...
I guess I'm just easy to replace, huh.

You truly tore my heart from my chest,
and it still isn't there,
but it's growing,
thanks to the boy who's shown me how wrong I was.
You never truly loved me, Simon.
But I know someone who does.
I taste it on his lips,
every time we kiss.
I feel it in his embrace,
as he holds me.
I feel safe.
Brent, loves me.

I've given up on searching for your reasoning,
I need to let myself not care.
I'm sad it has to be this way,
you've carved yourself from my life.
You laughed at me in my darkest hours,
and now, something has dawned on me.

Why has the pain not gone away?
Now I finally know.
My body treats this as a funeral,
because who you were,
has truly died.

You are not the man I fell in love with.
You are not who I called my best friend.
I'd hardly even call you human,
with all that ice in your soul.

RIP, Simon,
though you deserve no peace.
rest in pain; and rot away.

I'll never know the reason why.
You can't ask a dead man.
But now,
the funerals over.
And I'm walking away,
as they cover your coffin with dirt.
I will never ever look back to your grave,
because,
I've started a new chapter in my life.
and it started,
a year ago today.

I told my self i'd never write a love song,
nor a love poem,
nor try to express it in any way,
Because at the time i never knew how to explicitly express it,
I still feel bitter expressing feelings that I could not have before,
Time has passed and were further apart then we ever were,

We don't say words we usually would say,
We don't talk like we used to,
We only talk every so often and when were alone we walk in silence
We don't love like we used to,
We don't look at each other like we used to,

Seven years will have passed and we still won't be together,
It's not easy moving on after you said you loved me,
But were still young are we not?
How could we have ever known what it's like?
I'm telling you seven years of devotion,
Seven years of pain, seven years of wanting to be with an *******,
Seven years of loving someone who could only love his smokes & ****,
To give them up  for me,
You didn't keep that promise you made,
I can't believe I loved someone who hurt my best friends,
Who critized everyone he met,
Who poked and prodded at everyone's weak side,
Who as if stripped me naked and laughed at my most feared insecurity,
Who told me he finally manned up to tell me how he felt,
And then changed his mind constantly,
Which will it be?

Time's running out, don't you see?
We have dont'have time anymore, to give this a shot,
So let's go at this with every fibre of our being we've got
better to face your fears,
Then to later regret in our older years.
I'm tired of fighting these tears,
One day will be early or to late,
I'll be gone before you can think straight,
Should've never done those drugs,


You ask me why?
Why i'd fall for someone like that?




Because I believed that there is good in everyone,
even if their past and future have never changed for the better,

“I don’t believe in love”
He said
“There’s just this
Sycophantic idea with forever
And that somehow our passion
Could last exactly that long”

I think about you
And I almost believe him
But I know
I can love you forever

I am too good at bear hugs
And am fully flexible
When it comes to Kama Sutra napping
I can hold you in slumber
From any angle

I know there are days
Where I fall so far apart
The slow drag of my soul
Along the ground
Pieces me back together a little *****

I am a little *****
Especially when it comes to my mouth
I say things sometimes
That surprise the disgusting

I hope you like ***** talk

And I hope you can be patient
Forever is a long time to love somebody

I mean
Centuries from now
After my soul has doubled back
On it’s ***** self
So many times I come back as just a flower
I will still try and smell nice for you

And I will try and stay alive in
Whatever *** you drown me in
For as long as I can

I mean
I can’t live forever
But as long as I do
I am fully capable
Of loving you

Love, like song, is fast
and slow;
A dance to the rhythmic beating
of a heart.
Badump.  Badump.
They twirl, those two,
while lights flicker and fade
around them;
Fleeting, lucent images pass
their eyes
in grand splendor.

The moment she walked away,
Her smile turned to a frown,
She had to go no matter how her heart wanted to stay,
He hurt her,
Left her broken,
She'll always remember what they were,
Darkness fills her mind,
She wants to feel nothing,
She can't believe she thought he was kind,
She was blind,
Love broke her,
Made her weak,
Now she believes her future is plain and bleak,
She loved a heart breaker,
She loved who he was,
"This Is what love does"
"Love cuts deep",
So much you have no choice but to break out and weep,
She tried her best
But I guess he just wasn't impressed.