I was never skinny
And I think that killed my mother
I was never happy
And I think that killed my mother
I was always different
And I think that killed my mother
I always straightened my curls
And I think that killed my mother
I like black
And I think that killed my mother
I hate my glasses
And I think that killed my mother
I was broken  and no one comforted me
And I think that killed my mother
I was smart and became dumb
And I think that killed my mother
She bore me and she judges everything I do
And that kills me.

She fell into him
And he grabbed her
Held her by the hips
Looked her in the eyes
And kissed her

She kissed him back
Her heart fluttering

Her soul taking off on possibilities

He pulled away,
Chuckled at her rosy cheeks

Thinking it was one of the things
That he adored about her

He wanted to be hers

She smiled
And looked him in the eyes
For the very first time

He looked back

And finally they saw

All their lives
They have been waiting
For a person

To make them feel this way
Effortlessly.

There is a girl
who used to cry herself to sleep
cringe at the memories
the invasion of their bodies
of her own
poor girl cut herself
while images of death loomed
what fear
so lonely in such a large world
untouchable for the mere fact
that she already had been
so much pressure
she thought she'd explode
Everyone gave up on her
so cold
warmth wasn't possible
buried her head into books
tried to pretend it'd all be okay
but who was she fooling
she was broken
lost
alone
she was done.

My knight in black armor
But I am no princess
I'm the snake your the charmer
I'm so wrapped in your sound
For eternity we'll be bound
I am your love slave
It's always me you save
With your love and affection
You shelter me with your tender protection
In my eyes I see no flaws only perfection
You rescue me
And I just wish you could see
How badly I want you
Forever and eternity.

The moment
Our eyes meet
We smile
Wide and
Glorious grins
We get close
Our eyes never
Parting
And we
Silently
Say
"Hello "
And my heart
Jumps
In
Utter victory
For another
Beautiful moment
Was shared
Between
You and I.

Sometimes you're with someone who you love more

You build up their confidence

Make them sure you love them

That they are in fact lovable

And they begin to see just how great they are

So they no longer see value in what you have

They think they can do better

Be with someone prettier or sexier

You've built them strong enough to leave you.

Words that scorch
That yell at me
**Forget your love
Erase the love making
Destroy the desire
That built up
Forget what today
Would've been
Forget the love
That grew and
Tear it down
Like the world
You loved once upon a time
Erase the wound like
It was a just papercut
Instead of a sword
And arrow slicing
Through my chest
Forget all my pain
Like I can flick it away
Just forget the love story
And start over
As if

The first time you hugged me

I thought I could tell you anything

But now I know

I can never tell you

Those five little words

I can never tell you

I'm in love with you.

Know right here
And right now
I would
NEVER
Risk all we have
I wouldn't
Put our love
Our future
Our life
On the line
For a friend
With a pesky crush.

Do me a favor
Think of our child
Don't you want 'em
To be strong
And stick up
For what they believe
Don't you want them
To have a choice
In what they believe in
Because they might
Just hate you if you pressure them
Like you are me
Don't you want them
To be happy
To love you
To exist?

I don't want this
But when I close my eyes
I'm holding your hand
I smile looking into
Your beautiful eyes
And I kiss your lips lightly
Feeling more bliss
Running through me
In that instance
Than ever before
And when I open my eyes
I realize
Your Just My Friend.

I wish
I could kiss you
One last time
To make sure
We lost our spark
To ensure
No feelings
Will come back
I wish
I could make sure
That my love
Will never
Return
To make sure
That you'll
Never
Break my heart
Again
I just need
To affirm
That you're
No longer capable
Of hurting me
Ever again

I want a magic wand

Just a flick of the wrist and
Everything could be better
I can make myself into
The perfect girl for you

Just one flick of the wrist
And I can have you back,
Right here, by my side again

Just one flick of the wrist
And school wouldn't make me cave

Just one flick of the wrist
And I'd no longer be chained
By the child who keeps me in

Just one flick of the wrist
And we could be happy again.

Comfort

Your arms

Sweet bliss

Your kiss

Speechless

Our bodies collding

Eternal*

The love that binds us

I turned
Down
My best friend
Twice
In one day
And I felt
Like a bad person
But I kept remembering
Why I had to do it
Because I love you
Not him
Because I am not
Ready to move on
Especially into
A loveless relationship
I'm not ready
To be anyone's
But yours

Life
Will always
Seek it's
Revenge

For all of
Your
Wrong
Doings.

My head hurts from my tears
And my eyes blur
And yet I write to tell you
I cannot survive without you
I write to you begging for you
To keep me


Please



*Keep me.

My love for you
Is infinite
I could not
Bare it
If you left
Me
I could
Not bare it
If you left
My heart
Is so
Desperate
For the future we've created.

I need to press my lips on yours,
To fill the space between our bodies,
I want even our tounges battling,
To feel the warmth  radiating off you,
To hold you close and not let go,
I have to show you how I feel,
I'll use these lips
Because it's the best voice I know,
I have to have you,
I have to feel you kissing me,
I need just one,
Just One Kiss.

You kiss me
My forehead
My nose
My cheek
My neck
And lips
Whisper
"I love you"
Ask me if
I love you
No emotions
Pass through me
Just pleasant
Happiness
In your arms
So I know
The truth
I love another
So no
I don't love you
I just love being with you
So knowing your
Words
Are just to please me
Pleases me.

Kiss me hard

Full of passion

And love

And lust

Kiss me

For the rest of my life.

I remember when we met
In that alleyway
And I kissed you
And my collapsed soul
Was reflated
When I fell in love
All over again
When I wanted you
Wanted you forever
And nearly cried
Because of my fear
That I couldn't have you
I remember kissing you
Because it was
The perfect kiss

We kissed with passion
We kissed with all of our hearts
We kissed like our lips were made for each other.

There we were,
Standing outside,
While raindrops drizzled all around us,
You asked if I wanted to kiss,
And before I knew it,
Your lips were pressed against mine,
Instant Intoxication,
The taste of your mouth on mine,
It had settled months worth of my desires.

I thought about you
Just last night
And how we made love
One last time
And the way you wanted me
Had to have me
Like suddenly
Your ****** desires
Had been awakened
I remember the way you licked me
Like you were sorry you hadn't
For all those months
Like your tongue was spelling
Sorry into my skin
If I had known
That would be my last kiss
From you or anyone
I wouldve asked you
To swallow the ham sandwich
Just a little better
Or for you to kiss me
Just a little longer
Had I known
Or had I believed
The look in your eyes
We would still be
But alas I had finally learned
No matter how much you
Say you love me
You will still leave me
You will still
Say I'm not quite good enough
Had I known that I would never
See you again
I still would've held you closer
And rubbed your back
Or run my fingers through your hair
I would've begged for you to accept me
To just love me
But I was shattered when we made love
That's why I cried after
Because I knew
Deep down
I knew
I would lose
The one man I loved
Forever
I knew he would never
Hold me again
As I nestled my body into him
I just,
I knew.

You were my knight and shining armor you rescued me from myself.
You helped me get through the pain and the sorrow.
And perhaps that's why I love you.
Though there are many reasons.
I always knew I'd end up loving you.
I saw it coming I gave you a fair warning and you ignored it.
I tried to stop but the memories are still there.
How we hugged,how we kissed.
How we laughed and smiled.
How we stared at one another.
How we loved each other.
You were my knight and shining armor.
And somewhere along the line your battle sword was sent soaring through my heart...Breaking it into Millions of little piece.
You were my night in shining armor now you no longer hold that honor...

I'm sorry I'm out of words
All I have left are these emotions
That I can no longer fathom verbally

Just feel them internally
They rip at my soul everyday

The pain starts in my chest
And surges through my arms

I love
And I hate
And I envy
I lust
I hope
I break

I cannot make this sound beautiful
Because it is the mess that it is
I am a mess
Not just physically
But mentally and emotionally

I no longer have a knight to save me
I have to be my own knight
And figure out how the hell I'm suppose to save myself.

You know me inside and out
You know all my hints
And my twitches
When I have something
Locked up inside me
Begging to scream
You know me so well
And I love it
I love that you know
All my quirks
And can still look at me
And say
Your beautiful, I love you.

I'm a gambler at heart

When i was little
I cared with great capacity
For my mother's spending
And cared too little about mine
I saved up and to get the snack
I was craving
And i spent fast
I grew up on all
Card games
Waging candy
And pennies
And nail polish colors
That i never wore
I like to put something important
On the line and be doubted
So that when i win
Im twice as victorious
I find i believe in myself more
Have more motivation
More faith in myself
So i like to play virtual poker
And play with friends
Whenever i can
But the real excitement comes
In the anticipation
Of it all
Im a gambler
Even though im too young
For the casino
And have never even seen one
And yes
I gamble in life too
But sometimes
You have to prove to yourself
How much your capable of
And how if you truly
Want something
All you have to do is try your hardest
And hope you come out okay
Even if your not always a winner.

When she lost you
Once and for all
She somehow lost her future

She's digging in the ruins
Of a once bright future

She doesn't have any dreams now
And her only aspiration
Could never support her

When she lost you
Her whole world started to change
As it always did at your absence

She aches and she cannot express it
She internalizes the pain

She cries in the car
So no one sees

She cries in the shower
So no one hears

She is nothing
Not because she has lost you
But because she cannot stop
Missing you

She has no one to hold her
No one to love her

She is a ghost of who she once was
The shadow that never got filled in.