I feel so imperfect

Not because I don't
Like things about myself

But because I fear
You don't

To me you are more perfect
Than any words I could fathom

To me even things you call
Flaws
Are absolute perfection

So I'm scared

Because I know you don't
See me the same way

You see my flaws as flaws

And that makes me want to cry

It makes my heart clench

But then I remind myself

I still got to wake up in your bed
I still got to make love to you
I still got hugs and kisses
I still got you laying in my lap
I still have you in my life

And though your like for me
Greatly differs from my immense
And completely overwhelming love

Please know I appreciate every
Moment in your presence

But my mind
It's racing with fears

While my heart
It's ready to take a plunge
Take a chance
And just speak everything it feels.

The worst thing she does to herself
Is talk about you like you were
Just there and everyone missed you
Like somehow your shadow
Is still standing beside her

She does this to pretend she's not alone
She does this because for seven years
Of her short life you were there
Weaving in and out
Weaving your way into her soul

And now finding anyone else
To weave into herself
Seems pretty **** impossible
So instead she thinks of you
And let's her heart ache

She has so much love
So very much
And now has no one to give it to
Just her empty memories.

This is what you wanted

Because what i wanted was you,

Was a special love

Was a happiness that my dreams

Told me would be real

But your lips said never would be.

I am nineteen years young
And I don't know what career I want
When I grow up
But I do know
I want to be happy

I am so tired of paychecks
Forcing us into these holes
Saying you can't live without us
When they know **** well
We don't even wanna live with them
Because unhappiness is just as bad as poverty

You still don't want to move
Still cry yourself to sleep
If you sleep at all

You still have a hunger inside of you
Unfed and wild

No I don't think poverty and unhappiness
Are very different

One way you live to survive
The other you barely survive to live

There's a knife at my throat and it's labeled
Unhappy.

You are the black leather jacket left behind

Like the jacket
I have known you nearly 8 years
It has a rough surface
To protect itself from damage
But inside it's cushioned a bit
The color itself reminds me of your hair
And it's zipper represents the secrets you always kept
You left that jacket
Just like you left me

How could you let go of something
After holding onto it for 8 years

How could you not even care?

I know I hurt you
I know you want retribution
For all I've done over the years
And that no amount of apologies
Can make up for my wrongs
But I regret them all
I learned from them though
I learned that *** is wretched without love
And one day I suppose
In making it all fair
You'll see that
I learned that love
Is more valuable than pride
In our time together
I forgave you
Took you back
Buried the hatchet
Because my love outweighed
My pain
And I suppose
It truly was I that loved most
And yet I know
You'd still put up a fight saying differently
So in this time I realized that
This life without you in it to comfort me
Is unbearable and my heart
Aches with the sorrow
The past taught me
That I can't give up
Even when it seems like
Its my only option
The past showed me that
When your down
You have to fight harder
Because you can't let the current
Sweep you away
My past is a hideous thing
And besides the time with you
I'd like to erase every bit
But at least i learned
At least the lessons
Gave me faith and kept me faithful
At least even if you never forgive me
You know your loved
At least you know
You'll always have a bed to come to
Even if its broken.

I wish you'd stop
But it's not in your nature
You worry
And can't forget
Yes
You left me
And my aching soul reached out for you
When the call went unanswered
My body exploded
Couldn't turn away
For the pain was pleasure
And the pleasure
Complete agony
I changed
Yes
But I was altered
So that I could live
If I did not change
I would've committed suicide
Then I'd surely have gone to hell
You went away
And that's okay
Because your mine once again
And I hope for the rest of our days.

We have been falling in and out of love
All to often my dear

The rollercoaster we're on
Has finally derailed
And it crashed
You jumped out
I stayed on

The ride is over
Oh how I would love to get back on.

If I could have you
All would be right
In this horrendous world
All would become brighter
The darkness fading
To know the feeling
Of your lips on mine
Would surely brighten
All the stars in the sky
If we were to entwine hands
The crops of this Earth
Would grow and prosper
Right beside us
If you were mine
And I was yours
The world would be
A much better place.

Comfort Is what I find in being with you...
Because being blue with you,is near impossible...
With you if I dare begin to tear...
It is only because I start to fear...
Fear the day when you'll leave me forever...
Whenever that may be I never want it to come...
I know I'll be glum,once more...
I look at you and see what I fell for,
Everything you are I adore...
Now we can never go back to before...
You know,before you tore a part of me...
Now with you I feel complete...
Lying next to you hearing your heart rhythmically beat...
Why must you be so ****** sweet?
You helped me forget the past...
So please let us last...
I never even asked,But you still said you loved me...
So let's see what we could be...
Your my only nominee...
So let's go crazy on a love spree...
Come on it'll just be you and me...
Forever right baby?

Hey baby,
It's me again
I know you don't read these anymore
And that I ****** up
Way too much since I lost you
But I really miss you
You somehow kept me from
Falling apart
And that's all I'm doing now
I'm failing all my dreams
No more you
No more school
I doubt I'll have a child
I'm losing this fight baby
And I miss you
And I will love you no matter what
No matter how many years pass
Or how many other people we're with
I really love you
You made bad days better
I really miss you sweetie
I miss you like crazy
And all the time
And I can't stop
Only stop myself from
Interfering in the life you've built
I hope to see you again one day
Passing on the street
Or at some store
I hope we can be friends one day
But for now
I'll just pray
And hope
And wish
Just like I use to
And maybe I'll get lucky again
And it'll work.

For her it was agony,
For him it was sweet and blissful,
He lied so well,
She never assumed him as and evil master-mine,
But oh,
He planned,
He played her so well,
He knew she always loved him,
And he made sure he kept her on a leash,
He would lie,
Tell her he loved her,
Tell her she was his world,
And soon enough it was her world that came crumbling down,
He began to deny her,
Deny he ever loved her,
Deny what they were,
He said their first kiss meant nothing,
He said anything they ever had was nothing,
He ignored her and their memories,
And in the process,
Destroyed the one girl who loved him,
the one girl that actually gave a ****.

I guess I should continue with my lies,
I've been lying to you so long,
but this time I know the truth,
I tell you I stopped loving you,
LIE,
I tell you I'm fine,
LIE,
Can't you see it,
Look into my eyes,
Don't you see my make-up smeared from my cries,
Can't you see all my lies,

Take me
Hold me
Because
No one else will
I'm not loved
Not by you
Or myself
Save me
Don't leave
I'm unstable
Ready to fall
Ready to break
I have nothing left
Come closer
Whisper
A soothing tale
Of a princess
Who finally
Found her prince
Just as she wanted to quit
Tell me
They lived
Happily
And stayed together
Even when times
Weren't perfect
Tell me
They Will Be Us
Years From Now.

To tell your life story is like giving yourself away,
But truly you are just trying to be set free,
Your trying to have a handle on reality,
Life cascades around you,
Facts you wish were only dreams remain true,
Life is breaking you down,
Your swallowed whole by your own frown,
I reach for your hand but you let go,
And I watch as you hit your all time low,
Saving you is something I'm no longer capable of,
You refuse me and my love,
It's okay I'll stick around and listen,
I watch you tell your story and smile as your face has a certain glisten,
And I'll hope telling me the pain will make it okay,
I promise to stay,
I promise to hear each word,
I promise your story won't go unheard,
You'll soon be free,
I'll be happy to share some of my glee.

It's easier to sleep
With your words
Floating in my mind

It's easier to smile
Thinking of you
Your face
Your scar

It's easier to feel worthy
With you
With your love
And compliments

It's easier to live life
Knowing I'm yours

It's easier with every breath I take
Because I know
You'll be with me for most of them


My darling you and I
Have found a love
That will last a lifetime.

Now
I whisper
Goodnight
To my little
Piece of sunshine.

Everyone has walked away,
They turned their back on me,
At my darkest time the world left me,
I was a wandering soul with no one,
Love betrayed me,
It took away my friends,
My joy and hope too,
I have been abandoned,
The truth has cursed me and outcast,
I am nothing now,
I am only the unlovable,
The invisible and the lonely dreamer,
to the world I am a girl,
the world knows I am weak,
One day when my heart has healed I'll show them,
They'll see love is evil,
they will see I too can find light in the dark.

It aches
To know
That in this
Difficult time apart
I cannot suceed
In making you happy
I know you wish you were here
And oh how I wish
That you were too
But in this time apart
I hope you feel my love
I hope that you see
Every laugh and smile as
My attempt to be happy
To prove my love and
Deep affection
My sweet love
I hope that one day
You'll see the world
A little brighter
I wish being yours
Made it so
But you dream
Of happiness
In each others arms
And until that day
Know that I love you
And that you will always
Be my sunshine
My star
In every night sky
You are my forever
And that
Will never change.

You make me smile so easily
almost as easy as the breeze on a fall day,
Effortless,
Knowing it's the least you can expect.

You let me write doodles on you,
Words that usually hurt,
Words about my former heartbreak,
But with you it doesn't hurt.

You call me your friend,
And I try and explain I can't be your friend
I'll like you,
Oops,
Too late for that.

Every time you laugh I see your dimples,
Indented so deep into your face,
I love them,
They draw the perfect amount of attention to your face,
Those gorgeous dimples help me see your lush lips,
Perhaps they'd like to meet mine one day.

Your one of the few people that aren't afraid to be seen with me,
To be seen talking and laughing with me,
Apparently to some I'm shameful,
But you just continue on making jokes,
Making me laugh.

Each moment I spend with you
I like you a little more,
Liking you has grown easy,
Your the kind of person that can make me happy,
I think your the only one that can make this loneliness fade,
So you should do me a favor and just stay,
Stay and keep the loneliness away.

They keep telling me
I haven't been through anything
They keep screaming
How nothing bad has happened
I've had such an easy life
But Listen To My Story
Please listen
I was never my daddy's girl
I still call him by his name
It was always me and my mom
Though all it feels like now is me
I was fat my whole life
That never stopped my problem
Hell it got me made fun of
Put down
Mocked and Used
I'm an easy target
Because since my first love left
I couldn't say no
Oh how my mind and heart ached to scream
I wouldn't move
Just lie there and take it
Let them leave
Just get dressed and go our own ways
I'm a cutter
Always thinking about something sharp
I can't control my ****** thoughts
Even though I only want to with those I love
It's yet to happen
And I'm not so pure
I've stolen from my own mother
I've been with grown men
Not by so much choice
But because the pressure
I've been thinking about my diagnosis
I think I'm Bi polar
I think It'd explain
My lack of control
My depression
My thoughts
But no one listens
They tell me I'm fine
But they don't know
That I when I'm upset
I'm suicidal
They don't know
How each day I wake up
Wishing I didn't have to,ever
They don't know me
No one does
They don't understand
They can't.

Boom boom boom
She knocks on the door of an entity
Shaped like an ***** she long forgot
She hears whispers
Alas no answer

Boom boom boom
She knocks again
The silence from the other side
Ringing in her gentle ears
And she begins to wonder
Will she ever again find the key

I just wish I wasnt so lonely
I miss you
I love you
And I hope
We do come
Back to each other
Because I
Believe
We are
Meant to be

No one will ever
Love me

I do not say that
In a negative way
Just in the sense
That it is something
That I have come to accept

No one will love my words
My heart
My soul
My body
The way I smile
Or the way that I laugh
They will not love
The curls of my bedhead
Or the way I sing off note
Or my love of every little odd thing
No one will love my secrets
My baggage
My past
No one will accept me
As I am
They will not hold my hand
With pride
Or kiss me for the world to see
Because no one
No one
Will ever love me.