And I wonder what it means

When I can still taste you

When I wake up

And I wonder why it is

I only dream of you now.

Why couldn't you love my temporary tattoos
Or my make up
Why couldn't you stand my dream catchers

They were a part of me

Weird ole me

Why couldn't you love

Every bit of me?

Jolted awake as always
But then I see
Your body
Lying beside mine
And it all seems
Perfect
Every moment
In my life that I've
Suffered feels
So worth him
My future husband
The man whom I
Could not bare life without
My heart settles into this peaceful image
Of his arms wrapped around me
And never letting go
And then I sink deeper and the image of us holding
Our childs hand comes back to my mind
And it just all seems
So
Perfect
Life with you is
All I could have ever wanted.


You are my dream come true.

It is the dreams that wake me in the middle of the night.
Then I begin to cry and perhaps you wonder why.
It is due to my dream.
He was there as he always is.
But sometimes What I believe is a dream really turns out to be a nightmare in disguise.
For a while it's like memories being relived in my dreams and I love it.
The memories of how we fell in love,How we laughed,how we hugged,how kissed,
But then I realized if I were to relive the memories in my dreams then he'd be leaving right after he kissed me.
I dreaded ending the kiss.
But it ended  and I woke up alone and I realized I couldn't even live in my Dream world without him.Maybe That is why I awoke.
In tears because I was alone and he was nowhere near me...

The chances of me having children

Are so slim my womb aches

But alas my dreams

Oh in my dreams

The chances multiply

And anything is possible.

I've dreamed
Of our marriage
I've dreamed
Of our son
And how
He'd look
So much
Like you
I've seen us
Together
So happy
And while
Those were
Only dreams
I have a feeling
I have hope
That one day
All my dreams
Will come true.

Let me live in my own little Dreamland.I've Recreated it.I love dreamland because when darkness looms around me I can imagine a better world.Just like I always wanted.Your always there.But I think I'm starting to come to the realization you don't belong in dreamland any longer.But then what joy will I have?That's why I hold on because the memories keep me smiling even if its only a Dream.A Dream of You...</3

Please

I beg


Please

Visit my

Dreams tonight.

Flirtatous laughter,
A giggle in reply,
A relationship in the making,
But truly dreams are only dream,
So for enjoyment I live in dreamland now.

So caught up in the creativity of my mind,
I can dream of the boy that will never leave me,
I can't have him reality but here he's mine.

We can fall in love,
Then we can make love,
Comfort is always found in his presence,
Real or not he makes me complete,
And though dreams are only dreams it's as close as I could ever get to him.

One day I'll have to leave dreamland,
One day dreams won't satisfy me.
Until then I will ravish in the sweet dreams of he and I,
With sorrow hidden with the knowledge of all that will never be real.

How do you poison
Even the simplest of acts

With no ill intent you somehow shatter the pieces I've been holding together all day

Then apologize and fain support as if you didn't just tear me apart

How can someone who loves you always be the one who hurts you.

I just want you
To take me each night
With that firey passion
In your illuminated eyes
Make me one with you
Every chance you get
Because no one
Does what you do for me.

I don't like being less
I don't like being so near edge
Because that's what I've been my whole life
And when I finally accomplished
One of my dreams
When I had it all
My past invaded and broke it
So I remain less
Until I have once again
Earned my place.

Do you still hear my echo at night
The beating of my heart

Do you still feel me in bed
When I haven't been there

Do you feel my shadow lurking
Watching you heave your emptiness

Do you feel it
Placing a hand on your shoulder

Hoping one day you'll come to your senses

Can you feel me all around you
Swallowing me in the air you breathe.

You still echo

Your face

Your name

Your energy

It still echoes inside of me

And I can't help but dream of you

Dream of what was

Of what never will be

You're an echo

You screamed into my heart years ago

It's just so large that I can still hear you.

Needing you
Waiting for you
The distance
Only temporary
No matter how agonizing
We'll reach the day
When time together
Is endless
Or at least
More available
We'll get there
One day
We will
Because that's
How it's suppose to be.

I want to
Grow
Old with you
One day
I want the ability
To say
That I've
Lived most
Of my life
Married
To you.

The love of my life.

My one and only soul-mate.

Your hands wrapped gently
Around my waist
The sweet kiss on my neck
The glorious whispers
Of a love shared
A love finally reunited
A future were reaching for
A beautiful picture
Made especially in our minds
Placed so high up on a pedestal
Only to be touched by us
Never to fall or break
Because we're determined
To make that image real
Because we've sworn our souls.

We promised the " I love yous"
And the " I love you too's "

It's all emotional for me
Our hugs and kisses
Our hand holding
The way you stare into my eyes
Or kiss me all over my face

It makes me laugh
Makes me feel loved
The way our bodies entwine
Makes my soul feel awakened
As though I had been asleep before you

In your arms I feel content and happy
For me it's all emotional
The words and the actions
They all mean something
And to me they mean everything

When your near it's like the air
Becomes cleaner
Like somehow
Everything will be alright

I know things change
I know you want change
While I fear it

I know I try
As much as I can to be
The woman you want
And I know that it's you
I'm trying for

Days without you are long
And they're too many
I stare out the window
Wishing you were outside
Waiting to join me

So it's all emotional for me
Every moment I breathe
So I'm sorry if I cry
And overreact

But it's all just so very emotional
And in the end
No matter what emotion I feel
I know I love you.

I'm going off the deep
                                      E
                    ­                     N
                                              D



            ­                                                     *Will You Save Me?

I know shes "fragile"
But she doesn't know
How to be honest
How to be real
I hate her in silence
And I don't care
The lies will be her end
Her demise
She needs to get away
I see her and she's smiling
Flirting
Claiming to be broken
And if that *****
Knew better she'd cut it out
Because I know what it's like
To hurt
To ache
To be broken inside and out
And I think she needs to learn
Because this girl
Is a player of the worst kind.

You and your **** smirk
Your aloofness
I was in search of a friend
And came across you
An evil
Fake, lying entity
Your eyes
Your look is that of
Satan's spawn
Your too complex
Your not bright
Your not kind
Your heart is colder than the artic
I want you to go
Leave for good
Don't come here now
You've already thrown yourself away
Now leave
No one cares
You wouldn't let them
So now your all alone
And I hate you
For fooling me
I hate that I once thought you were better
Than the absolute monster that you are.

I play it off
Because I don't wanna seem
Weak
But you
And your little boy toy
Are horrible people
To trick me
To stick a knife in my
Barely healing wound
That deary can end the little friendship we had
And it did
I try to stay away
I cringe when you and him are near
I hate what he's made you
Hate what you've become
I live my life though
Knowing I told someone
Knowing I finally
Told the truth
And I smile knowing
You'll both burn in hell.

I show

Enough weakness

For the

Both of

Us dear.

I have seen the want in your eyes and then I watched it dissapate,
I denied you entrance,
But granted you permission straight into my heart,
You left the girl who wanted you,
I thought you would be the kinder type,
I figured you would be there once I spoke honestly,
But like every other guy who wants one thing
You left when you couldn't have it.

Everytime I smile your near
Rarely I don't want you
I** Can't help loving you
Quietly I stare from across the room
Unbelievably you catch me
Everytime you do my heart skips a beat

I never want to say goodbye

Loving you is what I do best
Obviously I've tried to stop
Very often infact yet
Each day I see you and know

Your the one for me
On each day I see you I feel whole
Unspoken words just keep me here though

Noisless laughter,
Bickering surrounding me,
Anger will build,
My only release is escape,
I'm locked in this cage,
A class full of people whom I hate,
They mock me,
And I mock their idiocy,
*** heads,
Drinkers,
And quitters,
Surrounded by the unfavored,
Suffocating in the abyss,
Darkness devouring my insides,
Hatred grown,
Loath in process,
They must be ended,
They too must change,
I am not alone,
I will survive,
I will find my way out.

I want
To solve
All the
Issues
All the
Babble
That are
Lies
I want
To erase
Every ounce
Of hate
So
I may purify
Too
I want
To cling
To the good
And if I cannot
Change the bad
I'd like
To flee from it.

Actions speak louder than words

Has never meant more to me than it does now

Coming home to you

Nothing done

Just hours wasted

Wondering if I marry you

Will it always be this way

Will you always tell me you love and appreciate me

While sitting idly by and watch me struggle to want this relationship?

I'm so tired of feeling like I have to fight for those I love.

After a long week I'm just plain tired.

If Your My Wish On A Star Coming True May Your Light Never Fade,
If Your Just In My Dreams May I Never Wake,
If God Exists And Heard My Prayer It Must've Come True,
If This Is My Birthday Wish Becoming Reality Then I Know What To Wish For Forever.

Just those eyes are worth all the stars in the sky,
Your smile gleaming bright like the sun,
Life wouldn't matter if I could just dream of you and those lips forever,
God may be almighty but compared to you he's only some guy in the sky,
And If each year I wish for you,
For you in my arms,
and in my heart I'd do it,
Even if it didn't always come true,
Because no matter what I want to know that I'm truly dedicated to you.

I laughed today
Genuinely
But only while
Imagining you
Bare walking into the
Bathroom
Trying to cover
Your behind
But not covering it at all
And the name Adam
Ran through my mind
And Then I realized
That I was always Eve
Picking off the tree
After being told not to
I'm the sinner
You are good one
Who simply
Tried
And I got lost
And you tried again
And eventually
You couldnt try anymore