I'll be right there for you when your life is falling apart,
Just like you were there when my world was,
I'll be right there for you to make you smile after you've cried,
Just like you did for me,
I will be right there loving you when you think you are unlovable,
Just like you loved me when I thought that too,
I be right there for you to hug you and make the darkness fade for a few moments,
Just like when you hugged me and made my dark days fade,
I will be right there for you to kiss you and make your confidence soar,
Just like when you kissed me and made me feel confident for one of the first times in my life,
I will be right there for you through it all,
Just like you've been there for me.

"Beautiful"

One word and just like that
I am broken into two

Do not call me something so wondrous
If you feel anything less than love for me

Do not use such a heart-warming word
If you do not mean it with every bit
Of your soul

Do not call me that
Unless you have held me
Kissed me
And declared
That we will always be.

I look into peering eyes,
They automatically look away,
I see who they are,
I see who they pretend to be,
They don't take the time out of their precious fake lives.

They don't  see me,
They don't Peer into my eyes and see
The Darkness that is harnessing in me,
They see a smiling,Or Plain girl,
Not attractive or Popular,
Just Plain,
They don't see how I'm dying inside,
They don't see the loneliness killing me.

I have known you
Approximately 2,555 days of my life

Each day spent knowing you
Was like watching a rainbow

It was created from sun and rain
Beauty and coldness

For every day that I knew you

I have cared

I have wanted you to smile

For the 2,555 days of my life
That I spent knowing your name
And your sparkling eyes

I have thought of you

Never a day has or will pass
That I will not think of you.

I love you
And I already miss you
And your kiss
Sweet and meaningful
I miss the strength your presence gave me
I miss your hugs
And holding hands
And being tickled
I miss rubbing your stubble
I love you
So I'll always be here
Always be true to you
But it'll hurt everyday your away
But our love is undying and true
So I know it can make it through
I love you
So I know you and me
We'll have our happiness
Our marriage and child
Our whole life
Together
I love you
And that will never change.

I want to be
A part of your
Zombie killing team
Like you always promised me
We can make sure they die
For good this time
I'll grab my shotgun
And have a load of fun
I'll make sure they don't eat our brain
Make sure they are slain
You promised me I'd be on your team
Now let our pride and strength gleam

I'm the girl that loves reading,
Reading science fiction romance novels,
Just so she can dream of it being her,

I'm the girl who loves with everything she is,
But is so scared of love because she has not just been broken,
But Absolutely destroyed.

I'm the girl who always looks at her scars to remind herself
That times have been worse,
And to just stay strong.

I'm the girl who won't speak unless spoken to,
The shy one,
The girl in dark colors and black eye-liner.

I'm the girl that guys are ashamed to be seen with,
I'm the girl they don't want their friends to know they like,
The ugly duckling everywhere she goes.

I'm the girl with a past,
A past she can't let go of,
I'm the girl who wants happiness,
But every time she has it,Loses it.

I'm that girl not worth wasting your time on,
That girl that is unlovable
By anyone except her family,
and that I know is forced,
I'm that girl who no one see's for the right reasons,
Only the bad ones.

I have never known passion
Until it was your hand
Rubbing between
My increasingly wet legs
I never wanted to take anyone
The way by body aches to take you
Or better yet
Have you take me
You focus so much on my pleasure
Never being greedy
You get off on my moans
And baby
I just can't handle the overwhelming
Ecstasy
I find when your lips meet mine
Because all I can think about
Is my love for you
And how your the only person
I've truly made love with
And each moment we're together in hot passion
I find myself begging for you
Inside and Out
By Heart Loves You
My Soul Needs You
But My Body
It Wants You.

Maybe I should
Run from
His friendship
But he's a great
Friend
And so
Gentle
And frail
Younger
And so
Innocent
I'm afraid to
Hurt my friend
But I need him to know
It's not going to happen
He knows it's not
Yet his words still
Linger in the air.

The Perfect Family.
A Working Father,
The Daughter His Little Girl,
"Daddy's Girl"
A Stay At Home Mom,
A Grandmother That Gives Money Or Junk Food,
A Aunt That Pinches Your Cheeks And Gives Warm Uncomfortable Hugs,
A Cousin You See On Rare Occasion,
Seems Normal...
But In The World I Know,
A Distant Father,
His Only Daughter Barely Speaks To Him(Not By Her Choice)
A Working Mom That Can Barely Afford Life,
A Alcoholic Grandmother That We're Obligated To Visit,
A Aunt That Has Sold Drugs,Had Two Kids ,Hasn't Finished School And Is Only 18,
A Cousin Young And Mother-less That Must Be Watched Constantly,
Not So Normal.
Well That's Reality,
This Isn't A Television Show It's LIFE.

I cannot wait until
You and I
Can wake up
With bed head.

Can't wait until we
Can have dinner
Together.

Can't wait to
Argue about chores
And who does what.

I can't wait to
Fall asleep in our bed
The one we make love in
And call you my husband.

Through the cracks in the sky,
I see solar rays coming at me,
A break in the clouds with a golden spark,
A place gods could descend from,
In this bright sky I find peace,
Serenity and hope no longer eluding me,
I am more determined than ever,
This content feeling filling me,
And I will find my way through,
And darling maybe I don't know you but I'm on my way,
On my way right to you.

Inspired By It
Destroyed By It
Made Because Of It
Love is the key to life
Yet
It has been my enemy
As well as my friend
It brought me rejection
So much pain and misery
But it brought me joy
Acceptance and sucess
It built me up
So high I never thought I'd fall
But just as courage grew
Love betrayed me
Brought me to the ground
It buried me in this hole
And now love
I must tell you
You Begin So Well
But End In A Story
For The World To Know And Tell.

I turned
Down
My best friend
Twice
In one day
And I felt
Like a bad person
But I kept remembering
Why I had to do it
Because I love you
Not him
Because I am not
Ready to move on
Especially into
A loveless relationship
I'm not ready
To be anyone's
But yours

Oh His name was Joshua...
The simple task of writing his name is hard....
Oh Joshua he had more value then I had realized...
He had left me...
Time and time again...
I tried so hard to hold on....
To make everything right....
I swore we were meant to be....
I still believe....
Our memories were in to large of quantity to let go...
Oh yes....
There were bad memories.....
But oh yes....
There were good ones as well...
The bad all came pouring down one after another....
He had left...
He returned....
Leaving me more confused then ever....
I don't think he knew that I had cried everyday without him....
So I thought he'd leave me again so....
I cut...
Putting cuts where only I could see....
Then when he left again just as I suspected...
They got  deeper and they got visible...
Oh but don't get me wrong...
Somewhere between the cuts and the tears...
We shared some beautiful moments...
How he'd stare at me...
How he'd make me laugh for no good reason....
How he made it seem like he wasn't in his own pain...
How he hid his scars...His pain....
How he'd hug me....
How we had kissed and both feeling what I believe to be the feeling...
Of Soul-Mates....
We shared our laughter...
We shared the pain....
We shared love...
Though I always thought of his love to be lies...
There were times I believed....
There were days I had cried....
There were days he wish he had....
But in the end Joshua Is gone and I remain here alone...
Still thinking of him even after all this time....

It's hard to believe
All we've
Been through
To get
*Here.

Oh Shadow Child
Go out and play
Take breath and stay
Your in need
Have some fun but later suceed
Shadow child don't live a life of greed
I am the one who brought you here
Please don't retain your fear
Let it all go
Learn to cry too though
Shadow child dance on the sidewalk
Go on be real,Talk
See life in only the best light
Tell me what you think is right
Don't worry I'm sure we'll agree
It's just you and me, at least for the day
I love you shadow child
That's why tomorrow you'll be free
Tomorrow you'll get a chance to know eternity.

I

Can say

A lot

About my

Father

But why

Should I waste

My time

My words

And my effort

On a man

Who only makes

My life

Harder.

You loved winter
And I think that's why I hate it so much now
Everything ***** a little more without you.

I had to clear my mind,there was a memory I had to find.
His love made me blind,he was once so kind,
The snow gently fell upon his face,
In our special place,he always did make my heart race,
He had this untouchable grace,
Even as he'd pace.
Our laughter grew,It was then I knew,
As the air blew,
My heart Flew,
And it was that moment I fell in love with you.

Our bed
One we'll
Share in the future
Where I rest my eyes
And you occasionally do too
Where the stains
Of our passion
Appear
Where our child
Shall be made
The bed they'll
Crawl into after having
A nightmare
The bed we grow older in
Each night trusting it
To be gentle
With our bodies
That are growing frail
Our bed
Where we'll leave this world
Our bed where many
Laughs
And moans
And secrets will be told
Our bed
The one to carry us through
Our journey of life.

It's those brown eyes
That have me trapped
In the realm of love
They took my soul
Left me this empty being
I need my soul back
But I fear what those
Brown eyes will take next
They already have
Everything
I can offer.

They keep telling me
I haven't been through anything
They keep screaming
How nothing bad has happened
I've had such an easy life
But Listen To My Story
Please listen
I was never my daddy's girl
I still call him by his name
It was always me and my mom
Though all it feels like now is me
I was fat my whole life
That never stopped my problem
Hell it got me made fun of
Put down
Mocked and Used
I'm an easy target
Because since my first love left
I couldn't say no
Oh how my mind and heart ached to scream
I wouldn't move
Just lie there and take it
Let them leave
Just get dressed and go our own ways
I'm a cutter
Always thinking about something sharp
I can't control my ****** thoughts
Even though I only want to with those I love
It's yet to happen
And I'm not so pure
I've stolen from my own mother
I've been with grown men
Not by so much choice
But because the pressure
I've been thinking about my diagnosis
I think I'm Bi polar
I think It'd explain
My lack of control
My depression
My thoughts
But no one listens
They tell me I'm fine
But they don't know
That I when I'm upset
I'm suicidal
They don't know
How each day I wake up
Wishing I didn't have to,ever
They don't know me
No one does
They don't understand
They can't.

I've written 1,762 poems
1,763 now
And I guarantee
At least 1,725
Are about you
I've written
Hundreds of thousands
Of words
All dedicated to you
All about you.

I fear my lack of inspiration to write
The words no longer flow
No longer hold me tight
Can't seem to rhyme anymore
An itch hard to ignore
The truth staring me in the face
A time ending in a horrible place
For soon my words will fade
And I will be full of emotions just too afraid
For failure in your creation
Causes quite a painful frustration
But I'm scared to stop these words
Because if I'm lucky they come like this in herds
I love the process of choosing
But hate in the end when a poem is losing
Critics play rough
But as a poet I move on
We're all pretty tough.

She loved you when you left her in the rain after you kissed

She loved you when you were with other girls

She loved you when she was *****

She loved you when you didn't believe her

She loved you when you were together

She loved you when you promised they'd always be

She loved you when you broke those promises

She loved you when she took you back

She loved you when you betrayed her

She loved you when you left her

She loved you when she forgave you

She loved you when you came to live with her

She loved you when she fell asleep beside you

She loved you through every fight

She loved you when you said you weren't sure about marriage

She loved you when you said you weren't sure about fatherhood

She loved you when you talked to another girl

She loved you when you defended her

She loved you when you broke your own rules

She loved you when you lied to her

She loved you when you weren't kissing her anymore

She loved you when you had pity *** with her

She loved you when she woke up in your arms that morning

She loved you when you told her you were leaving again

She loved you as her cheek burned from the kiss

She loved you as you took the picture of you both together

She loved you as you left

She loved you when she visited you

She loved you when you made love a few more times

She loved you when she took you back

She loved you when you said she had to be a secret

She loved you when she said she couldn't and that it was over

She loved you when you stopped messaging her

She loved you when you vanished

She loved you always

She loved you too much

She loves you still.

Never again
Will my body
Be caressed
Or cared for
Nor shall it
Be seen again
My body will rot
And die
Thinking
Of the lover
Who took me
Fiercely
And often
Who i shared
Passion with
Who i experimented with
Who i let teach me
And who i moaned for
Whose name i whimpered for
The lover who is one of a kind
Who i let try things that hurt
And things that felt amazing
No matter how nervous
The lover who
I said those three words to
That lover
Who i will never
Get to make love to again
That lover who no longer exists.

Good-bye
my hushboy
Good-bye
sweetness
Good-bye
to being treated like a toy
Good-bye
to failed tries
Good-bye
my dimple faced boy
I hope some will bring you joy
or the happiness
you once brought me
it's sad we can never be
but in the end all I want
is for you to be happy.

I fear this
I'm afraid of this friendship
Petrified to be hurt
Again
Horrified at the mixed feelings
And Signals
I want this to work
But with us
It never seems to
I hope that it'll all be okay
But sometimes
I think you make
Me just too happy
And make my heart
Flutter too much.

Oh and since that day we met,
I have this feeling,
This feeling leads me to believe there's gonna be more,
We laugh,
We talk,
Yet never a deep conversation is shared,
You hugged me tight,
I loved the feeling of your arms wrapped around me,
I like how you start poking my thigh,
Leading your hand higher and higher each passing second,
And for the moment your hand lays upon my thigh,
I smile,
But the feeling exhilarates every inch of my body,
I hold on,
Trying to let you continue,
But the feeling of your hand on my skin,
It shakes me to my very core,
I can't help but want your kiss,
I've wanted it for weeks now,
But you don't want anything real,
Not from a girl like me,
Maybe not from anybody,
But I'm starting to want you in a way I can't explain,
And I can't believe that since the day I met you this feeling won't fade,
I want you,
Even if I know barely anything about you,
I WANT YOU.

You were my knight and shining armor you rescued me from myself.
You helped me get through the pain and the sorrow.
And perhaps that's why I love you.
Though there are many reasons.
I always knew I'd end up loving you.
I saw it coming I gave you a fair warning and you ignored it.
I tried to stop but the memories are still there.
How we hugged,how we kissed.
How we laughed and smiled.
How we stared at one another.
How we loved each other.
You were my knight and shining armor.
And somewhere along the line your battle sword was sent soaring through my heart...Breaking it into Millions of little piece.
You were my night in shining armor now you no longer hold that honor...

Here's the simple truth,
No ones voice will ever
Sing to my soul the way
Yours does

Never will another chest
Be as comfortable and warm
To cuddle into as yours

I'll never kiss another set
Of lips and be satisfied
Because if they're not yours
Then those lips don't matter

You are the best advantage
Life has given me,
Even through all the
Mountains and rollercoaster rides
We came out okay,
We came out in love
And that means *everything.

Love is so sweet,But your love is so sour
You created a potion of love and you suckered me into drinking it
Now all I feel is the sour feeling of loving you
Your sour love entrapped me and won't let me go
Tell me the antidote so My love may be sweet once more

I've always been best at rebellion
Secret rebellion my most acomplished
I've always been best at standing out
And never blending in
Somehow fading into the background
While sticking out like a nail
I've learned to be original
There isn't a copy of me anywhere
I'm unique
And while I don't always love
My strange or weird tendencies
They make me feel stronger
Prouder
As though I finally have somthing worth fighting for
And I'm not doing it for attention
I'm doing it all because it is who I am
Strange as it seems
I like being me
And even though it gets lonely sometimes
Every once in a while I come across someone that
Has pride and originality
Someone that doesn't care
And who's weirdness
Matches mine
And then I laugh
Because I know not everyone
Has become a follower.

I read the word of God each night
And when I pray
My tears flow
With painful honesty
With a ache of my wants
And for all that I'm thankful for
Hoping that something
Anything will bring back
All that I had
I have to rely solely on God
For I'm on the down *****
Of a rollercoaster
And He's the only one
Who can save me
And bring me back to you.

I was born to
Forever be with you*

Because unlike you
I very highly believe in destiny

I truly do believe all my mistakes
All the ****** up things that have happened to me

Was a part of destiny
My mistakes led me back to you

Again and again
It wasn't that we had met and weren't

Meant to be
it was simply that the time was off

I was vulnerable
I was weak

You were stronger
You were still to young for the love I held in my heart

So I believe in destiny
I believe that each moment of torture

Was carefully planned
So that one amazing day

We'd be reunited
And the fates

Made it so that we lasted forever
Mistakes and all

We had grown finally
More mature

We had learned what true love could be
Destiny knew and we followed its path

As soul mates typically do
Now our past is behind us and our future awaits.

Shot with words,
Enemies to a stranger,
How dare that wicked girl be his,
I love him and now I am left,
I'm abandoned by his desire,
Pain is all consuming,
Darkness covers the light,
And at times I hate him,
But love and hate are too similar,
One strong feeling towards another,
I love him,
I hate him,
It's all about him,
Not me,
Not the unlovable girl waitingin the dark.

No one ever understood me...Or you...we seemed to stand out like a wild fire...We had to rely on each other...Our friendship was everything I held dear...And when I fell in love with you I thought it'd all come to an end...But it didn't...Because you were different...That's what I loved most...You've been gone so long now...and still as I lie awake at night thoughts of you continue to consume my mind...Our memories...All our good times and the bad ones....And suddenly I find myself craving your presence...But it's been so long now I fear you'll never return to me...So all I can do Is dream...Dream of you and I together like we once were....

This time around,
I didn't get a goodbye kiss
Or that long meaningful stare

This time I got
Dirt in my eyes

I've been harmed
My eyes (the gateway to the soul)

Oh how they burn
For my mind misses
Looking at you

Feeling you close
And you looking at me
The way I look at you

With love and admiration

With a sense of desire

Now I am left

With memories that I claw
To hold onto

And just as before
I throw out all other knowledge

To hold onto more of the days
That I spent in your comforting arms

This time it's more unfair than ever

And I beg for you to somehow

Be able to just stay

My love reaches

Such a grand intensity
And I can never let go
I open my eyes despite the pain

Wiping away the tears

And I reach out to you now

Hoping maybe

You'll respond

With more than simplicity

But show me you love me
Tell me how you saw me all those days

All that time we made love

Make me smile again

Don't go without giving me
Something to hold onto

Some faith
Some hope

Don't go without
Telling me you love me

Because I want to replay that instance
Everyday until we can be reunited.

My heads spinning and this is only the beginning
My hearts breaking and my hands are shaking
My insanity in the making...The monster within waking
My world is quaking...Life is falling around,I feel like I was drowned,
Smothered in my own tears,It started with simple fears,so as my make-up smears My hope disappears...and again I'm singled out,With a desire to shout all about my doubt...

I was the Prey and you were the Predator,
You could catch me in an instance,
But you sat patiently coaxing me,
Tricking me into your trap,
You pounced and instantly trapped me,
I had nowhere to go,
I couldn't escape,
A part of me wanted to stay,
But then I was scared and only wished for death,
You took your first taste of me,
Instant intoxication,
You seemed to love the taste of me,
So you continue to devour me whole,
Ripping my heart out was your favorite part,
You did it so pleasurably,
You did not care for the cries I let out,
You just went on,
Wounding me,
And tearing me into shreds.
Until there was nothing left of me,
Until I didn't even exist.

I like to look
At the pictures of us
So I can see
Your smiling face
So that I can see
Us
Together
I like seeing those
Pictures because
When your away
I still get to see you
I can still see how amazing
You look
And remind myself
Your heart is even
More amazing
I love looking at those pictures
Because I remember
I was happy and giggling
When you took them
I love those pictures
Because they're the
Very beginning
Of our history as a couple.