I love you
More with
Each day
For I love you
More with every
New memory
That we share
Together.

Me?
I would risk
Death
Just to
See
Your
Face.

Maybe one year,
If I'm lucky
I will have a kiss on new years

Maybe one year,
If I'm lucky
I will have someone
To wish me a happy new year

Maybe one year,
If I'm lucky,
I will wake up on January first,
In the arms of a man who loves me

Maybe one year,
If I'm lucky,
The fireworks will not remind me
Of the fire in my soul,
That goes unloved

Maybe one year,
If I'm lucky,
I will know of a love,
That will last every year.

I can already feel
The blood rising
To the surface
Of my skin

I can already
Feel that old ache
The pain
The loneliness

I can already
Feel what it'll be like
Without you again.

I've come to a point
Where I want to run from everyone
And everything
To run from my own life
Every move I make feels wrong
And every choice disappoints someone

I am in a storm
And I cannot seem to survive
I feel myself breaking apart
Like a wet piece of paper

I am incapable of piecing myself back
I cannot choose anymore
My heart is a **** fool
And my mind is forgetting all too fast.

My ribs are cracking
Stabbing into me
As all the pain oozes out

My body is failing me
My soul is faltering
I am dying

I am in a war with myself
That those around me
Are too blinded to see

I will not be rescued this time

The question at hand is

Will I be strong enough to rescue myself?

Exhale

She collapses in on herself finally

Defeated

At last they have broken her

The proud woman

The strong woman

She has faltered

At last

They have ****** the love from her lungs

And she *exhales

The dust of brokenness escapes her lungs

She has withered now

And so the world

Will never know

How wonderful

How strong

Love can truly be.

I broke down
And I cried so hard
And I prayed
And I told God
That I'm doing
This for me now
I'm gonna read
The Bible
I'm gonna pray
And I will
Find a way
To get to Heaven
I told God
That I love him
And that I love you
And that I'm hurting
And that I want your happiness
Though I wish it was with me
I cried harder
At the admittance
Of my Christianity
Then when my heart
Was smashed
And maybe you were right
And I was wrong
But I asked God for help
And I have faith
He will save me
That I can save me
And that I will see you
Even if its in heaven
Our hearts
Our souls
Will meet again.

Sometimes we're in a rush

In a rush to find love again
To be loved right this time around

Sometimes we're in such a rush
We fail to realize that rushing
Will only get us false love
False happiness

It is in our patience
When we are most rewarded

I am patient now
Awaiting fresh kisses
And sweet I love you's
As I drift to sleep.

I love those
Incapable of loving me back

I love them enough
For the both of us

I love in a way
They too
Believe they love me

But time passes
And things grow weary
And one day we both wake up

Hearts ripped out
And tears streaming down our faces

And we say goodbye
Because we were never meant
To say hello

But the world thought
We both deserved
To feel happy

Even if it ends
Even if the pain never fades

You remember the love
As real or imaginary as it was

And you're happy
For the time you got

And though you miss them

All you can do
Is hope they find real love
And that you do too.

You cannot
Deny the facts
You've loved before
*You will love again.

I remember the first time
I showed you my stomach
And I was so scared
And when I first saw your bare ***
And you were so shy
I remember the first time I ate in front of you
And that I was so anxious
And I remember the first time
We slept in the same bed
And the time we ditched school
And played cards at the mall
I remember so many firsts
Like when we kissed
Or made love
I remember too much
And far too little.

Finally I lost you
I knew it'd happen
Because in my life
Nothing good ever stays
Nothing ever lasts
I wish you'd love me
But I knew all day
It would end this way
And a blade would find my skin
Because without you I'm fin.

I
put
the
past
behind
me
and
I
make
sure
not
to
turn
around
because
the past
may hold
a pain
you let go of
but looking back
Might
make it seem
New again.

Truth is
I never
Want you
To leave me
But I know
That sometimes
We have to be apart

I'm just so comfortable
With your arms around me.

"Oh me? I'm the best at loving all the right people at all the wrong times."

Now more than ever
I'm scared
That being me
Just won't be
Enough
To make him
Stay.

Don't you dare think I forgot
Just because you did
November 23rd 2009
You asked me to be yours
November 25th 2009
We had out first kiss
November 30th 2009
We made out and then you left me
September 14th 2012
We met to kiss and when we did
You asked me to be yours
October 11th 2012
We made love for the first time
December 11th 2012
You proposed and I said yes

Somewhere between we fell apart
Even if we came back together
We were never quite whole again.

A stranger fell in love with me

He knew me two days before professing it

His commitment is unwavering

He has a sweet voice

I could love this stranger

I could want him

Do I love him back?

I'll smile
And feel my heart
Be freed
As I sign
My name
My new name
For that first time.

No one will ever
Love me

I do not say that
In a negative way
Just in the sense
That it is something
That I have come to accept

No one will love my words
My heart
My soul
My body
The way I smile
Or the way that I laugh
They will not love
The curls of my bedhead
Or the way I sing off note
Or my love of every little odd thing
No one will love my secrets
My baggage
My past
No one will accept me
As I am
They will not hold my hand
With pride
Or kiss me for the world to see
Because no one
No one
Will ever love me.