I want
To explain
As much as I can
About everything
Everyone
But there resides
An ache
Knowing it'll
Break more of me
As well as set me free
As for him
I fear he and I
Will never be the same
For how can a man
Look at his bride
And know her past
Was full
Of whorish
Memories
That still
Make her life seem
Worthless.

We're no longer the people we use to be
We have to move on
And leave those shadows
In our past
Sure stories are fun to tell
But they make you long
For what you no longer can have
They make you wish things
You don't really mean to wish
Don't get stuck in the past
Because life won't wait for you.

That's just it

Sometimes

I wish I saw

With your eyes

So maybe I could understand

The beauty you see on me.

It's you
And only you
That I feel
Comfortable
Enough
To be me
Weaknesses shown
And healed in your eyes
So with you
I can finally find strength
And that is only one
Of the million reasons
Why I love you.

She got lost
She thought she was loved
But really he was her master
Well now
She can slide on a skirt
Put in her fake plugs
Smack on a temporary tattoo
And go out and buy another dream catcher
And guess what?
No one will tell her she looks
"Easy"
"Like a poser"
"Like a ******"
No one will tell her believing in dreams catchers
Are silly and evil
She will slide on that **** skirt and smile
Because she is free
She will go out
And she'll tell a better man
That she finally feels free
That she can finally be
Herself.

I watched as you strode up my street
The sun rising with you
The sun always rising and falling
With you
And I smiled
And I ran down stairs
To once again be in your arms.

Last night
I dreamt that
Our child
Was in my belly
A month or two old
But growing
And I had never
Felt so complete
Never have I felt so whole
With the beating of that
Little heart in me
Never have I taken
Such comfort
In what should have been
Shocking
Or absurd
But I did
Because
That child is not just
Mine
But yours as well
And I know you'll be
An amazing father
I loved that child
I would love any child of mine
But it'd make me happier
If that child can be yours.

I want you
I need you baby
I can't pretend
That I'm okay anymore
Please help me
I love you so much
Sweetie it hurts
Please come kiss it better
Sweetie I'm trying
But I can't see the darkness
So how will I know
How will I know baby
Please I need you here
Tell me what to do
And I'll listen
I just don't want to hurt

Its a reflex now,
When my shirt twists in
My bed and exposes my stomach,
That i rub my hands over it
And think of them
Our old dreams
Of innocent children
In which we love
Its a bad habit
To imagine holding them
In my arms
And when reality comes back
I hold in tears
For though they were never real
They once were to me
And now they're dead
Along with all my dreams.

I must sound problematic
Because I keep missing you when your here
Yet I keep wanting you when your not.

There was a girl
And she remembered
The boy who first
Captured her heart
He left her
Broke Her
But she never gave up
Her waiting was endless
Until the chance arose
For her to love another
So while this girl
Had a broken heart
She decided to give up
And let go
Of the pain
But as she fell in love again
She once again saw
That she could never attain him
Nor the love she
Loved first
And then her shredded heart
Stood between the past love
Who broke her
And the current one
Who just didn't care enough
And this girl
Didn't know which hurt worse.

Stretch mark
To stretch mark
From every hill and valley
From every blemish
That sparkle of love
Never faded from your eyes
In the worst light
And in the best
You still saw a woman
Whom you loved
And because of this love
Saw her as beautiful
Despite her flaws
And her thoughts
Of your undeniable attraction
You saw her bare inside and out
And believed she was beautiful
Because she was more than
Just a lover or friend
She was everything you wanted
And so she loved you too
Not because you loved her
Or because you thought of her as beautiful
But because you were honest
Because your soul
Was as beautiful
As you saw her to be
Because even as you frowned
Seeing you made her smile
And in turn she'd cheer you up
She loved you for all you did
Every moment you cared
And every moment she cared back
She loved the way you matched her
In every way humanly possible
She loved you the way you loved her
Always and forever
For you shared a love that was meant to be
A love that would go on beyond all.

He asked
For forever
And that's
what I'll
give him

I have questions for you

What do you gain
  When you talk about me
  What makes all the lies
  Worth it for you
  Why do you STILL
Make up vicious lies
  When it's been so long
  Since you meant something
  Or since I *wanted to mean
  Something, anything
  Tell me why?
  Why?

I need you
Now
It hurts
And the
Tears sting.

You will always be
The kisses in the rain
That will never leave me

You are the symphony of my soul
That never stopped playing
Only went off tune

You are the roots
I am the tree
Without you I wither

Without you
I do not feel the raindrops
Or the music inside me

Without you I die.

The storm
Raging
And brutal
Has finally
Ended
And now
All I have
To do
Is dry
Off
And hope
The sun
Shines
Through.

Win that lottery
And take me away with you

Let's leave this life together

Just like you said we could

I hope you win

Not because I want you to have money

But because I want us to be free

Free to go anywhere together

And maybe just maybe

You would finally

Just let yourself love me.

Looking into your eyes
I know that this is
Suppose to be
Forever
Yet there's
Our battles
But no couple
Is perfect
And we're still young
We'll figure it out
And ignore that feeling
I use to have
Because your it
The stop sign
For love has found me
And I no longer need to search.

I'm not use to writing in rhyme
Not no more
I'm not use to poetry at this time
Been to long since I wrote
And well
It's been to long since I used a quote
And while this poem too
Isn't any good
It's what I gotta do
I lost my talent it seems
But I try
Because A girl got dreams
And while this ain't worth reading
It's better than bleeding
I hope my inspiration comes back
But I believe my inspiration
Is currently under attack.

One step forward
Two steps back

That's how it is to try moving on

You can't forget first love

You can never truly stop loving them

So I wasn't your first

I couldn't be

Here I stand thinking about a life,
A life alone, a life without you,

And in those thoughts
All I want is your hug

You're like vines
Beautiful life
And yet they can trip you
They can hurt if used as a weapon

You were always the strongest weapon
It was so easy for you to break me.

For four years
I have loved you
Please
Don't
Doubt that.

Hey there,
I know we don't know each other very well, but I thought you ought to know how much I love you. I've waited my whole life for a man so wonderful, a man who maybe, just maybe, could love me in the same insane way I love him. I know my love of ice cream and the color green is a bit crazy and that I can be wild and weird but that's something I hope you'll learn to love. We can watch science fiction series together and have snacks, of which I got way too many. You'll kiss me all the time and it'll always make me smile. You won't look at me like I'm a total loon when I refer to you as the father of my cats, or at least I hope. You'll watch the same Friends reruns with me whenever they're on. You'll soothe me when my anxiety is bad. You will always be extra careful when we are making love because you understand what I've been through. Hopefully, you believe in aliens and bigfoot like me because that would be so cool. If I'm lucky enough to find you please know I'm not good at letting go and that I will love you so much, even if sometimes I try to act independent and self-sufficient. I hope you're real because I have so much love to give and it's hard when you have no one to love. It can get pretty confusing but I think once I meet you it'll all become clear.
                 Until we meet my love.

All I know is that I'm a little lost right now
A lot like you are so often

All I know is this ring on my neck
Is a promise
That I would rather die than break

A promise that I'd one day
Be your wife
No matter what happens along the way

This is me
Telling you
That my heart has always been yours
And that I'm never letting go
The vows we'll one day take
Are already in affect for me

You see I vowed the day I fell in love
That no matter what I'd find a way
To make us work
To make sure
That in the end
You will be in my life.

I'm just afraid
One day
You won't
Be there
When I
                     F
                       A
                            L
                               L
And nothing
Will hold me together
And I
Will just
B R E A K


My life without
You is so
Meaningless
So please
Stay
Don't let me
Hurt
Don't let me
C
O
L
L
P
A
S
E

I can't help
But think
If only
You had
Come back sooner
I would be innocent
I wouldn't have fallen again
I wouldn't be looking back
I wouldn't have cried
Or cut
I would still be obssesively in love
And maybe you and I
Wouldn't be here now
Together
So maybe all happened
For the best
Even if it hurt
It helped us grow
Stronger
Helped us see
How we're
Perfectly meant to be.

I knocked at a door
Labeled "God"
And heard a simple response
"I'm not who your looking for"
I blinked and the door changed
It smelled of wonderful pine
And had your name carved in it
I knocked three times
And you told me to come in
And I knew,
I knew God wanted us together
I knew that he'd lead me to you
When I walked in
My life was complete,
My future laid before me,
My future with you.

We have been falling in and out of love
All to often my dear

The rollercoaster we're on
Has finally derailed
And it crashed
You jumped out
I stayed on

The ride is over
Oh how I would love to get back on.

If a man whom I could love
Is to hug me
I hug him
Shaking with the fresh fear
Of everything that could be
Everything I know never will
And I grab his shirt in my hands
Holding oh so tight
I never want to let go
His shirt in my hand
His smell in my nose
And most of all his arms around me
Why on Earth would I ever want to leave that?