I've made so
Many mistakes
In life
And with you
But The things that
Life has taught me
Will keep me safe
The things
I've learned
By ******* up
With you
Taught me
To fight
Harder to be what you want
Because your worth change
Your worth fighting for.

He was my first kiss

Maybe that's why

Only his kiss feels right


He has lips almost my size

Maybe that's why

It feels so right to have them against mine


He's my first love

And maybe that's why

I think his kiss is best

But maybe it's because

We're actually meant to be.

And this year like every year
Someone will break my heart
For my birthday

Whether it was my father
My first love
Or myself.


Happy birthday to me!

I feel forgotten
And unacknowledged
I can hear the blade
Silently calling my name
And I whisper back
*Soon my friend.

If I pretend
The pain does end
So I try to forget
Tell myself what we were was a regret
I rebuilt my walls
Trying to ignore my greatest falls
The aching will come
And it makes me easy and lay with ****
I'm no *****
But my heart is in war
And I'm on edge
Slowly trying to pull myself from the ledge
Whenever memories come back
It's as though strength is what I lack
I'm fighting these battles alone
I'm determined to escape the unknown
The images of what was will fade
And by then my heart would've strayed.

My time
With you
Is precious
And no
Matter how
We spend it
I'll always
Be happy
And content
Because no matter
What we're doing
I'm with the one I love.

If I run away from you
Then you can never break me

Then I will never have to be
Your almost something

If I run now I'll miss you
But I'll be less broken

I won't have these false hopes
I won't still want you

If I run right now
You won't chase me

If I ever run you won't
No one ever really does.

I
Think
My
Body
Needs
Yours
To
Penetrate
It
Now.

But what if
Maybe
Just maybe
I can never let you go

What if I still breathe
In the smell of your shirt
That I am so mad I washed

What if I miss you in bed at night
And the feeling of you hugging me
In your sleep

What if I want you forever

But simply can never have you
Because you want me to be
Your ***** little secret

You've erased me from your life
But you're still everywhere I look
In everything I hear
In everything I love in this world

No one will ever love me

Even if you only loved me in pieces
Even if you couldn't forgive me
Or trust me

I want to take back so much
Crawl out of my own skin

How can I erase the good
If it makes me smile
How can I erase the bad
If it makes me laugh to look back on

We were always crazy

Perfectly imperfect together

There will never be anyone like you

There will never be another man

Who can reach into my soul
And make me love them the way
That I loved you

You loved me even while you hated me

I want you to be happy still

Because someone here has to be
I had so much happiness with you
But you didn't want to choose me
Not with all your heart

Not like I needed you to.

My heart
Aching
As distance
Is leaving
Us apart
This holiday
Without you
Reminds me
Of all
The loneliness
That I
Spent in
The past
Few years
I miss you
My love I
Need you
I must wait
But I need you
Your kisses
Are desired
And the whispered
I love you
As well
I hope
To see you
Soon darling
And when I do
Take me in your arms
And just hold me tight.

His lips were on mine
And my body wanted to fold
Wanted to give in
To everything

I wanted to hate it
But instantly
I found myself loving it

I hardly noticed the way
His beard brushed against my skin

I was so lost in the want

I almost forgot to be scared
Of something so wonderful.

I told you

Go

It's okay

I understand

This problem

Has no solution

You said it yourself

I'm ****** up

So its okay

Go

But **** me on your way out

For my heart will surely break

And I'll lose my will to fight

Go

But know I will always

Love you.

I love you
And I miss you
And it hurt so bad
To be dropped
Like that
But I understand
Because I almost
Always understand you
It aches so much
Not to be yours
To be alone
In my fight,
But I suppose
You can't help
Or shouldn't
But every moment
We have spent
Or could've spent
Passes through my mind
And reminds me
Of all the sweet
And tender words
That I'm missing
Right now
And I thought
About using
The word sweetie again
And all I could do
Was cringe
Because thats you,
My baby
My sweetie pie
My best friend
My lover
So I stopped crying
But I'm not happy
And I miss you
And your hugs
And your comfort
But I wait until
You deem me
Okay
And I will
Be waiting.

I want to
I wish I could
But the past
Ruined me
And every time
I try to
My body
Screams not to
I'm sorry
I truly am
I really do want to
But I'm not there yet
Give me a little more time.

I want to go
Wherever it is
That you are.

I want to escape
From my home
Because at this age
It feels more like a prison.

I want you
To be with me
For us to be free.

Free to make love
Marry
To live our lives
And just be together.

I just want
**Want You.

They stole you
Stole that picture
I had kept
That kept me whole
That kept me from tears
They stole that smile
And that scar
They took
The little piece of sanity
That I still possessed
They stole from me
My whole world.

Tomorrow
Marks another
Lost day
Because I was
No good
Tomorrow
Marks another
Agonizing
Day of misery
Because you were
Suppose to be here
Mouthing I love yous
As you kissed and held
My hand
And I was suppose to
Pretend I was more
And cry looking into
Your wonderful eyes
Tomorrow was
Gonna be a day
For us to be close
And to cherish this
One day
That we got
And now
All it'll be
Is another day
We missed
Because of me.

You
See
Everything
In me
That not
Even I can
Somewhere
Beneath all
Of my flaws
And impurities
You see good
And you've fallen
For it
For me
All I know
Is that the
Best part
Of loving you
Is how you
Accept me
Is how your here
Now
And hopefully
Forever.

I'm ashamed to say
My words,
They're running
Dry
And it seems
I'm no longer
Poetic
So I wonder
What will happen
To my emotions now.

Don't stay
If its because
You pity me
Or because
I'm partially
Your creation
Don't stay
Because you
Feel like
You wanna fix me
Or because
You feel bad
About
How my life changed
Because of you
Stay with me
Only if you love me.

The truth of it is
I am not good enough for them
That's why they leave me

They must wake up one day
And realize
I'm not beautiful
And they were crazy to ever say so

They must wake up
And wonder
Why they tell me they love me

They must wake up
And see
I'm flawed inside and out

My hair is thick and unruly
My body is not pretty or toned
My heart is fragile so I worry too much
I say "Hi" at random moments
And I'm too scared to touch
Because I think I'm a bother
I cry for no reason sometimes
I care too much and this scares them
So they see this and leave
Along the way making fake promises
About staying friends and about
Maybe one day being together again
But they'll always see me as flawed
They'll always see the failure
The crazy animal lady
The ****** who loved them too fast
I will never be perfect
And they will never love me for my flaws
They will never love me period
And no I'm not okay with living
As a broken woman
Because it's simply not fair
To love so much
To be broken every time.

Its like the war never ends
We fight and fight
Make things alright
and yet we hurt
And are wounded
When does the war end
I just want it to end.

Her brain screamed
Run you **** idiot
Her heart bellowed
But I need him

No, you want him, there's a difference
I love him so no there's not
Why must you always be in love?
Because I do, in hopes to be loved back
It's not him, it might not be anyone
****** brain, it's worth a try
But it's not worth more heartbreak

Maybe it is.

If you won't let
Me die
Can I at least
Grab a knife
Pick up a blade
Use my pin
Metal music isn't
Loud enough
It can only release
Some pain
A cut
Might release more.