Trust that I

Have been faithful

Believe that I

Want this love to last

Have hope

That our future

Will be as amazing as we imagine it to be.

I can't help but fear
One day you may not be near
Maybe our love isn't meant to be
Not for you cause it is for me
It is your love
It brightens me and the sky above
I've never desired someone like I desire you
I wish you could love me too
Can't you look me in the eye
See that I not once spoke a lie
My want and love has been true
It's all been for you.

I thought about
How we used to make love
Entangled in the magical
Sweat our love created

I thought of us
Cuddled up
Watching a movie

I thought of our picnic
By the water

I thought of all
Of your proposals

I thought of the days
We spent together
Happiness in our hearts

Our only fear being torn apart
And once done
The walls of love
Crumbling our stability

But brick by brick
We built it up

For our love
Could never be crushed

I thought of
Our strength
And our endurance

I thought of the future
That we wanted
And that I desperately desired

My wary soul
So tired from fighting
Wanted peace
And found another battle

But hand in hand
From city to city
State to state
Our love reaches through

And in the end
I believe we will find rest
We will find comfort

So today I thought of you
And all we've been through

Today I thought of
Our love and how special it is
And how I don't want to let go
Or ever love another

Today I thought of your arms
And how all I want
Is to return to them safely.

My soul
Always itching
To be closer

To you
My love

For our souls
Were mated
By the hand
Of God himself

Yes even He
Has time for two
Young lovers

He was so kind
To bring us together
And ensure
That our souls
Finally entwine.

I looked in the
Mirror
And saw
How hideous
I am
and I
Questioned
How he bares
To look at me
Each day.

I Don't Miss You
I promise
But the memories
They creep up on me
Invade my dreams
Every time
I look to the sky
I think of you
And me
All that was
All the possibilities
The ones you took away
The ones I too sabotaged
I can't forget it though
Images of our lips colliding
Or me wrapped  in your arms
They stick with me
Make me wince
Make me ache
And I know I don't love you
And I know I don't miss you
But the first love hurts the most
When it ends in complete disaster.

In the end
I know it'll be
Just more chaos
Because making things
Fair
Leaves how I feel
Unfair
Because
Trying to catch up
To me is wrong
Because
In order to catch up
You need someone
Who will pull you there
Do all the work while you
Just pretend and lie there
You'll need someone
Who turns you off
More than you knew possible
And someone who only wants you
Because you're an easy target
So when you choose your three
And they choose you
I hope you dont endure the emotional
Trauma i felt
I hope you think of me
And I hope you know
Whether its 3 or 300
My love will help me forgive you.

He was my first kiss

Maybe that's why

Only his kiss feels right


He has lips almost my size

Maybe that's why

It feels so right to have them against mine


He's my first love

And maybe that's why

I think his kiss is best

But maybe it's because

We're actually meant to be.

I want to
I wish I could
But the past
Ruined me
And every time
I try to
My body
Screams not to
I'm sorry
I truly am
I really do want to
But I'm not there yet
Give me a little more time.

I've dreamed
Of our marriage
I've dreamed
Of our son
And how
He'd look
So much
Like you
I've seen us
Together
So happy
And while
Those were
Only dreams
I have a feeling
I have hope
That one day
All my dreams
Will come true.

I need you
Because I love you
But I need you because
Your touch is the one
Of a lovers
Your love is that of one too
I need you because
The future I see
Is only made up of you and me
And of course baby spencer
Or serenity
I need you
Now
Forever.

If I run away from you
Then you can never break me

Then I will never have to be
Your almost something

If I run now I'll miss you
But I'll be less broken

I won't have these false hopes
I won't still want you

If I run right now
You won't chase me

If I ever run you won't
No one ever really does.

And this year like every year
Someone will break my heart
For my birthday

Whether it was my father
My first love
Or myself.


Happy birthday to me!

But what if
Maybe
Just maybe
I can never let you go

What if I still breathe
In the smell of your shirt
That I am so mad I washed

What if I miss you in bed at night
And the feeling of you hugging me
In your sleep

What if I want you forever

But simply can never have you
Because you want me to be
Your ***** little secret

You've erased me from your life
But you're still everywhere I look
In everything I hear
In everything I love in this world

No one will ever love me

Even if you only loved me in pieces
Even if you couldn't forgive me
Or trust me

I want to take back so much
Crawl out of my own skin

How can I erase the good
If it makes me smile
How can I erase the bad
If it makes me laugh to look back on

We were always crazy

Perfectly imperfect together

There will never be anyone like you

There will never be another man

Who can reach into my soul
And make me love them the way
That I loved you

You loved me even while you hated me

I want you to be happy still

Because someone here has to be
I had so much happiness with you
But you didn't want to choose me
Not with all your heart

Not like I needed you to.

I've made so
Many mistakes
In life
And with you
But The things that
Life has taught me
Will keep me safe
The things
I've learned
By ******* up
With you
Taught me
To fight
Harder to be what you want
Because your worth change
Your worth fighting for.

I fade into the dark
And I don't know how to see
When all of a sudden
Your bright face appears
And I trip
Falling down
And I find you
Catching me
Saving me
You wrap me in you
Your warmth
Filling me with new light
And suddenly I'm awoken
And I see how beautiful the world can be
As long as I have you with me.

My heart
Aching
As distance
Is leaving
Us apart
This holiday
Without you
Reminds me
Of all
The loneliness
That I
Spent in
The past
Few years
I miss you
My love I
Need you
I must wait
But I need you
Your kisses
Are desired
And the whispered
I love you
As well
I hope
To see you
Soon darling
And when I do
Take me in your arms
And just hold me tight.

They stole you
Stole that picture
I had kept
That kept me whole
That kept me from tears
They stole that smile
And that scar
They took
The little piece of sanity
That I still possessed
They stole from me
My whole world.

I woke up
And wanted to say
Good morning baby
But I remembered
Your gone now
And you don't care
In the middle of a class
I wanted to text you
I love you sweetie
But I remembered
Your gone now
And you don't care
I came home and
I wanted to see the words
Hi honey I'm home
But your gone now
And you don't care
I waited for
Honey bun
And I remembered
Your gone now
And you don't care
And so I fade
Into the aching
Into the prayers
I fade into my hope
*Goodbye my love

His lips were on mine
And my body wanted to fold
Wanted to give in
To everything

I wanted to hate it
But instantly
I found myself loving it

I hardly noticed the way
His beard brushed against my skin

I was so lost in the want

I almost forgot to be scared
Of something so wonderful.

I feel forgotten
And unacknowledged
I can hear the blade
Silently calling my name
And I whisper back
*Soon my friend.

I'm ashamed to say
My words,
They're running
Dry
And it seems
I'm no longer
Poetic
So I wonder
What will happen
To my emotions now.

Her brain screamed
Run you **** idiot
Her heart bellowed
But I need him

No, you want him, there's a difference
I love him so no there's not
Why must you always be in love?
Because I do, in hopes to be loved back
It's not him, it might not be anyone
****** brain, it's worth a try
But it's not worth more heartbreak

Maybe it is.

My time
With you
Is precious
And no
Matter how
We spend it
I'll always
Be happy
And content
Because no matter
What we're doing
I'm with the one I love.

The truth of it is
I am not good enough for them
That's why they leave me

They must wake up one day
And realize
I'm not beautiful
And they were crazy to ever say so

They must wake up
And wonder
Why they tell me they love me

They must wake up
And see
I'm flawed inside and out

My hair is thick and unruly
My body is not pretty or toned
My heart is fragile so I worry too much
I say "Hi" at random moments
And I'm too scared to touch
Because I think I'm a bother
I cry for no reason sometimes
I care too much and this scares them
So they see this and leave
Along the way making fake promises
About staying friends and about
Maybe one day being together again
But they'll always see me as flawed
They'll always see the failure
The crazy animal lady
The ****** who loved them too fast
I will never be perfect
And they will never love me for my flaws
They will never love me period
And no I'm not okay with living
As a broken woman
Because it's simply not fair
To love so much
To be broken every time.

If I pretend
The pain does end
So I try to forget
Tell myself what we were was a regret
I rebuilt my walls
Trying to ignore my greatest falls
The aching will come
And it makes me easy and lay with ****
I'm no *****
But my heart is in war
And I'm on edge
Slowly trying to pull myself from the ledge
Whenever memories come back
It's as though strength is what I lack
I'm fighting these battles alone
I'm determined to escape the unknown
The images of what was will fade
And by then my heart would've strayed.

Winters with you were never so cold
Your presence brought an unspeakable warmth
And now I hide under covers wishing your body was there
I miss that warmth
I miss going out in Winter
I miss standing in the middle of the sidewalk and letting the cold air
Just hit us full on because you couldn't resist kissing me
I miss that
I miss Winter...