Punch**
My gut bellows

What a fool I am

To believe even for a moment
That I could look past first love

That I would stop needing him
That I would stop wanting him

First and foremost he was a friend

He didn't understand me
Not completely

Oh how he knows my soul
My truest desires

He's gone from my life
Wiped away like chalk

A faint impression left behind

How oh how could I ever tell myself

That I could find even a glimpse of happiness without him.

The worst
Part about
Fighting
With you
Is that
I have no one
To hug me
And tell me
It'll be okay
Because you're
The only one
Who can
Comfort me.

Every time
I look back
Its hard
To believe
We made it here
We made it this far
And now were
Together
Now we know
Our love
Was always
Meant to be.

I don't know what's worse

Losing a friend

Or losing someone you had feelings for

I do know

It's hard when they're the same person

And everything you thought you knew about them no longer seems true.

We all have our bad days,

I just need a hug.

You were her emotional abuser
Stringing along her hopes and dreams
To shatter them every so often
You made her feel ugly
You made her feel unworthy
She was addicted to you
Addicted to the pain you fed her
Until one day
She woke up and you broke her again
And inside she snapped
She had enough
She couldn't let you go on
Telling her you were her king
When you treated her like a measly two
She let go
In one heartbreaking swoop
She tore every bit of herself apart
Just to stop loving you
Hoping
Maybe there is a man out there
Willing to treat her like the queen she is.

Nothing makes me happier
Than to lie there
Content and complete
In your arms
Tired and restless
Wanting to sleep
Or at the very least
Never let you go.

The love
Only grows
With each day
And I can
Only hope
It is Never
Severed.



*Not when
Summer comes
Not when it ends
Never
Never
Let it Sever.

Have you realized
That It was only
20 mere days ago
You proposed again
And that I didn't know
Because you asked in French
And did you know
When I realized
I cried and said yes
And missed you
And wanted your kiss
More than anything
Have you realized only last week
I was planning on being forever yours
And you forever mine

I wish I could hold you in my arms
All day long
And just call you baby
Call you amazing
Call you my life
I wish your home
Wasn't so hard to live in
And I wish mine wasn't so stressful
I wish things were easier and everyday
Could be just us
Together
I'm sorry I can't always help
But know I'm always here
Because I'll always be
My love is infinite
I'm not going anywhere.

Let me cry into you
With no questions
Just hold me
Kiss me
Let me stay yours
I need you
Now
More than ever before.

I wonder
If anyone
Besides myself
Has ever
Thought about
How amazing
We are
When together
I'm curious
If they
Have noticed
How much
Happier I
Am with
You or
Whenever I
Get the
Chance to
Speak of
You that
My smile
Becomes so
Much brighter
I'm Interested
In knowing
If anyone
Sees that
Because of
You I
Am more
Alive and
Slightly more
Completed.

I knew
The moment
Our eyes met
I'd fall
Madly in
Love with you
Oh how right
I was
To remember
My fear then
Is nothing
Compared to this
My terror to imagine
You leaving
My life
Again
My horror
At the thought
That you can
Break my heart
Again
And again
And I'd
Still
Want you.

Hey baby,
It's me again
I know you don't read these anymore
And that I ****** up
Way too much since I lost you
But I really miss you
You somehow kept me from
Falling apart
And that's all I'm doing now
I'm failing all my dreams
No more you
No more school
I doubt I'll have a child
I'm losing this fight baby
And I miss you
And I will love you no matter what
No matter how many years pass
Or how many other people we're with
I really love you
You made bad days better
I really miss you sweetie
I miss you like crazy
And all the time
And I can't stop
Only stop myself from
Interfering in the life you've built
I hope to see you again one day
Passing on the street
Or at some store
I hope we can be friends one day
But for now
I'll just pray
And hope
And wish
Just like I use to
And maybe I'll get lucky again
And it'll work.

I think some days
Are meant to be bad

To make you completely fall apart

I think there is an eternal struggle
Humans must get through

To fight the bad day
Or to give in

Today I'm doing both.

I use to think in forms of poetry
Think of rhymes
Perfect lines
And what other poets might like
But being a poet
Is not about trying
Its about letting
The truth emerge
Letting everyone see the real you
Through the magic of words


*Set yourself free

I use to dream
Of laying down
In the middle
Of a gymnasium

Maybe because if it were
Empty I wouldn't hate it
As much as I normally did

Maybe because the emptiness
Soothed the fire within me

Maybe because that empty room
Symbolized everything

My love that seemed so vast

My barely contained sanity

The walls were my cage

My emotional world boxed in

Maybe I dreamed of laying there in the middle
Because I was so sick of being too invisible
And all too visible at once

Maybe because the silence
Would silence my mind

Maybe I found contentment
With the freedom of such
A large room

Or maybe
I just liked the idea
Of lying in the middle
Of a gymnasium.

The very thought
Shakes me to my core
I know I will always love him
I won't always be in love
But I care
Because each time
His piercing eyes
Look my way my heart
Trembles and breaks
I'll never forget him
How close our friendship was
His pure smile which caused me
From spewing tears
Even if hate is now
Our only purpose
I wish it'd change.

I feel you
Like you were somehow
Embedded into my ribs
Your name echoing around inside of me

Are you reading this?
I feel you
I always have I've just tried so hard not to

Why us my love?
Why did God give us this great love
If we always fell apart?

Parts of my brokenness still believe
I silence her in unspeakable ways

But she goes to sleep in tears because of it
I feel you
I wish it was real.

Hold me
Like you do so well
Rub my back
And kiss my forehead
Be mine always
For you are the only one
The only one
Who makes my heart
Jump and skip
You are the only one
Whom I have ever
Truly loved
Or truly wanted
You are my past
My present
And my future
You are my
Soul mate.

I'm losing in this war
You see each day I realize
My best friend
Is becoming
My enemies
Best friend
And less mine
And each day
I realize
That the next day
I'll be sitting all alone.

I get scared
When your sad
I fear like you sometimes do
I think
You wanna take your ring back
Or that your leaving me again
I think maybe
This is the end to our story
And this anxiety
Fills me
And aches inside
Cross my heart
And aim my gun shaped hand
Right at it and shoot
Hoping it'll end the pain but
With you it stays
And tears fill my eyes and I hope
I hope
I pray
I need this
Not to be goodbye.

Of course
I'd like to
Be freed
From the curse
Of memories
That bombard me
I'd like to be honest
About my pain
And my mistakes
That ultimately created
This outcasts soul
But I cannot tell
For my life would
Quickly become ruins before it gets well
But I've asked for His forgivness
And that is all I can do.

Waiting for
The sweet
Moment in which
You are in my arms
Close and
Within every grasp
Waiting for the moment
You are within my reach
And all I have to do
Is put out my hand for yours.

I thought you loved me
For who I am
Not who I was
Or who you wanted me to be
I thought you'd always be here
I thought this time was different
And that you wouldn't hurt me
I thought this was forever
But in an instance you can take it all back
And in a instance we can be broken
And I fear it
For you are all I have
You are my reason for living
So now where do I go for comfort
Because you agreee with the cruelty of him
And I've been begging for forgiveness and yet
It has not come
And I prayed to God
And yet He seemed not hear me
I am nothingness
I am a monster
Made from love and destroyed by it
I was once happy
And that was in your arms
When you were not blinded
Who am I
I am nothing
For what have I ever been
Without your comfort.

I want you
Indescribably
With a passion
That is yet to be known,
You see
I want you
Now and forever
For you
Are the light
That brightens each day
And if you are ever down
I'd like to make you smile
Or try my best to
Because that's what you do for me
You make me
So amazingly
Insanely
And completely
Happy.

I
Think
My
Body
Needs
Yours
To
Penetrate
It
Now.

I realize that

At every new

Adventure

Or experience

I smile

Just a little wider

And I know

It's because

He's  experiencing

It all

**With me.

Go Ahead
Do It,
I DARE YOU.*



I want you to

Trust that I

Have been faithful

Believe that I

Want this love to last

Have hope

That our future

Will be as amazing as we imagine it to be.