Your words
Sprinkled sweetly
In my ear
A symphony
Only my blessed ears
Can hear
So beautiful
So absolute
Infinitely
Together
Dreams
Coming true
Life finally worth while
As long as I am yours.

It's almost 4 A.M.
And I'm in this bed alone
Having an imaginary fight
With you that I know
I will never have the courage
To actually say

And I'm crying as I list
Just how much I miss the little things

And I'm wishing
That my love for you
Could die

But it won't

No matter how much time passed

You're a permanent resident in my heart

I'm breaking from everything

Every bit of love I've ever felt
Was because of you
And I will never love again

Every time I feel close
I think of you
And I know

I know no love
Will ever compare to the first

My first kiss
My first lover
My first fianceé
My first roommate

My first heart break
And every heart break after

And still I would go to you
Fall for you
Fall to you

I will always be yours.

I was never greedy
I never asked for toys as a child
Never asked for expensive things
I was always happy with what was given
But when I met you
I found myself needing
Needing to be with you
Spend every moment I could beside you
And so when I lost you
I fell into darkness
The only thing I ever needed was no longer
Capable of being near
And now after this year as yours
I see that every moment is perfectly magical
And I have to appreciate every moment
And looking back
I'm glad I had those days with you
And I'm glad I've spent this year as yours
I am the day
And you are the sunrise
And there would be no me without you.

I need you here,
I need you now,
Just your smile,
Just your voice,
I can only hope you'll kiss me,
Only hope you'll hug me,
Only hope you'll touch me,
Only hope you'll love me,Just like you use to,
Just like we use to love each other...

Thoughts of you
Float on by my mind
But I refuse to
Revert to old ways
Where thoughts of you
Never went away
They never went away
Three years straight
It was you
You
You
Infectious
And never ending
My love is still true
But its no longer
The only life in me
It is not what
Creates me
It's simply a crutch to hold me
When I feel like I'm falling
My thoughts are of you
But dreams remain
Without that face of yours
Because of that I know I'm safe
At least for now.

I fear the start of this new disaster because I know it'll lead to my broken laughter.Can't you help?Can't you end this massacre before it evolves into my hurricane of tears and the shards of my heart?Can't you stop the wind from blowing evil words into my ears?Can't you stop him my love,
from making me happy as you once did?It seems not.It seems impossible to prevent.That's the worst part of seeing the disaster and knowing it leads to broken laughter all you can do is watch as everything you hold dear falls apart...

The knowledge of your completion
Completed me.

The moment
Our eyes meet
We smile
Wide and
Glorious grins
We get close
Our eyes never
Parting
And we
Silently
Say
"Hello "
And my heart
Jumps
In
Utter victory
For another
Beautiful moment
Was shared
Between
You and I.

That scar
That sits somewhere
Near your eyebrow,
Yes that one,
The one I ran my fingers over
A million times
Until you finally learned
That you don't need to flinch
No one will ever love that scar
Like I did
Maybe it was my way
Of cherishing
Even the imperfections
That erupted every so often
Maybe it's because if all images
Have mentally faded
That scar remained
Maybe its because I just liked
To touch you
And seeing your reaction,
Like when I'd play with your hair
And you told me it calmed you
And I smiled and continued
Maybe its as simple as
I like the feeling
When were close.

You use to stare
And give puppy eyes
You use to smile as bright
As the sun could shine
I loved that boy
Who's heart
Has heavy as it
Must have been
Seemed lighter
Than air.

Now you'fe grown up
And your a man
I get to hug you
Be in your arms
Kiss you
Watch your eyes
Glimmer when
You whisper you love me
And now I can believe it
I get to finally feel your
Hair running through my fingers
And hear your troubles
Wishing with every inch of me
That I could take it all away
I love you
I love you
I just wish
We smiled more.

I don't care
About the world
About those people
Who want us apart
Try to severe what we have
Because their fools
Who don't know
True love when they see it
We're two souls
Who have truly entwined
Our lives have changed
They have since the moment we met
I always knew
It'd be this way
Or I always hoped
So let's forget the cruel world
Come on it's just you and me.


Always.

The wind is blowing secrets,
There is a history only my heart knows,
I am unsure if this is jealousy,
Or can it be that it is only hate,
My heart has bubbled up with this agony,
At any moment I may explode,
The true feelings may escape,
They can destroy everything,
They can make fear become horror,
And it can turn care into hate,
I must keep these feeling locked up,
My hurt and betrayl will go unspoken,
The Truth Will Only Be Know In My Heart.

The tossing and turning
The fact that my body
Feels like it's burning
The lucid dreams
The tears and broken feelings
Am I A Monster
Or is one living in me
I've locked away the key
Years ago trapped the monster in me
Tried to hide it
For fear it'd control me
But as it emerges once again
All I can do
Is fight it off
With my weapon in hand
And Courage In My Heart.

I'm the ghost

Filled with memories

Unable to let go or forget

Trapped between Earth and hell

A pain I can't let go of

A ache that doesn't stop

I'm the invisible

The ugly one you walk by

I'm no one

A left behind memory

A figment of your imagination

I'll vanish in time

Perish not soon enough

I'm the nothing to your everything

The dark to your light

I'm the nothing you left behind

I am
In love
So ridiculously
That I want
With so much of myself
That it aches
At the slightest sign of failure
It swells
Each time
I see a child now
Because years from now
I want to have his
I feel like his love slave
The only whipping
Is that from his thrashing tongue
I'm intoxicated
By his body
His heart mind and soul
The grand perfection he is to me
I'm treated like a queen
Whenever I feel down
There he is
To fix all my ailments
I am so passionately
In love
And I hope to be for the rest of my life.

The feeling
Like your floating
On cloud nine
But it's filling
With raindrops
The ache of
Knowing
The rain
Will blend
With someone's
Tears
And their
Misery and agony
Will come and
Reach you
Trying to
Make that
Safety on
Cloud nine
Disappear.

That thought wounded me,
the thought like pounced on me as though it was a predator,
a predator to my heart.

Don't
Don't tell me
I'm stealing
Your heart
When years
Ago you
Stole mine
How am
I suppose
To decide
How am
I suppose
To feel
I promised
You'd always
Have a
Place in
My heart
Always have
A chance
With me
But now
I'm So Confused.

I absolutely
Love it
When he cups
My face in
His palms
And kisses me
Because
I never feel
More loved by him
Than in that moment
It's as though
The world has slowed
As though his heart
Is whispering to my soul
I want you forever
And I can't help
But smile as my heart
Flutters for the first time
In ages.

Whisper a sweet symphony of secrets,
I will capture the words and keep them close,
Your caressing words will get me through the night,
My dearest of loves tell me ,
Tell me of our future,
Give me hope of all we can be,
I will not give you up for all the money in the world,
My love is not a childish feeling,
This is real and my heart erupts at the sight of you,
I desire your touch and warmth,
Tell me you'll stay,
My love of all loves I promise to keep the sorrow away.

Kiss away the scars
Hug away the tears
And just be mine
Don't go
Come close
Tell me
You love me
You can't go
Stay near
You warm everything
I was a cold heart
And with you
I can feel
I'm me
I can smile
And laugh
I feel complete
In your presence
So please
Don't Go.

While my body
Grips on tight
My strained mind
Tries to slip away
Everyday
Is so hard to bare
Especially without you
Yet in my struggle for
Happiness
I find that I am even more dependent
And that you aren't nearly
So I sit alone tonight
Molding a purple heart
Wanting to smash it
Hoping something
Anything in me
Would come together
If I break it
The still harsh reality is that
I don't like to break hearts
So I'll keep it
Hold it
Make a wish upon it
For clarity in all my chaos
And I shall put it safely away
Hoping it's safety will somehow
Save me and my sanity.

The aching
use to feel
like a million
knives in my chest
It left me in such
Agony and pain
My eyes the color of blood
Because the tears never stopped
My scars that became
Fresh wounds
I was filled
With such emptiness
So much worthlessness
It seemed I'd never
Stop this feeling
Even when
I thought it faded
It grew back
And it hurt much
**Worse

I'm falling apart
Your halfway across town
And I'm breaking
Something feels off
And I feel weak
I miss you
And it's worse
Than it has been before
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
But I know I need you
To make me smile
Laugh
Hold me
So I can feel loved
I wish you were here
To kiss me
Tell me you love me
I miss you
And I'm a mess
Will you come
And hold me
If only in my dreams
If only for a moment
It's all I need.

Instead of tears
I'll cry a river of blood
Throw in the story of me
The heart ache
confusion
stress
innocence robbed
the abandonment
the lack of love recieved
and my every moment of pain
and then my river
It will cover the world.

Am I beautiful?

There's so must controversy

I say no

My lover says *Yes

My childhood tormentors say NEVER

My admirer says Of course

The question continues to go unanswered

But who could ever see

Beauty in such a girl

With such a past

Could I have finally

Amended or Atoned for my sin

Have I become beautiful

Or are my hopes

Just to high.

I can hear your heart
As we lie in bed together
I'm shocked at the beating
The vibrations so soothing
But a monster is the owner
He's a user
A heart breaker
and the biggest liar I've ever met
But when I lie with him
And I feel his heart
I think for just a moment
Maybe he's human
Maybe his heart is his
And perhaps I have a chance to steal it.

I'll tell you the truth
Love hasn't played
A part in my life
Because honestly
It's always been
My life
I've always searched
Always wanted it
My childhood
Filled with false ideals
Of whom I love
And when I gave up
It found me
In the form
Of him
And I'll admit
The beginning of
Those first four years
That I knew
This magical person
Who had first stolen my heart
Was NOT
Easy
But here I am 5 years later
And hoping
That I spend my life with him
Not many believe in
Love at first sight
Teenage love lasting
Or even the IDEA of soul-mates
But in my heart
I know their real
They exist
They Last
Okay
I might seem insane
In saying love
Has controlled my life for
Years and years
But it's true
Because it's all I've wanted
Haven't you ever seen a romance movie
And just though
"AW I want that too"
I have
I've wanted love since the
Very first day I can remember
And It came to me
In the form of him.

I.** The day I realized
That you were out there
Almost within my reach again

II. The day you proposed
And we ditched school to
Celebrate

III. The day we first kissed
And my heart jumped so hard
In my chest that I actually jumped

IV. The day we went to Newport
And I cried because my love
Overwhelmed me with my desire
To one day be your wife

V. The last day we had together,
Despite the ending it was still
My favorite birthday because I had you,
My favorite person in one of mt favorite places

VI. The day we spent in Warren
And it was nearly 100° and we
Had like three dollars that we spent
On candy and freshly made soda

VII. The day we first made love
Nervous and new and yet still
So worth while

VIII. The day we bunked
And you told me you loved me
For the first time in our relationship
And my heart broke free from my chains
And I said that I loved you too

IX. The day we met to kiss
After so long and we talked for
An hour instead before I finally kissed you
And the magic of your lips once again
Made my heart flutter

X. The day, just any day
That we spent at home together
Laying in bed, cuddled up
And made love and cooked
And watched TV together
And we were free and we,
We were happy.

It's cold here

I'm cold here

Where are you

My King

I need you

Your warmth is

Unbeatable.

Let me admit
I felt
Awkward
And twisted
It'd been a year
Even longer actually
And yet I did it
At your request
I did
And again
A thousand times more
Only for you.

Love has been cruel,
My heart is its companion,
Just as relentless,
They are partners in my demise,
My heart is caught in loves way,
To love another,
And have love go unreturned,
It left me and my heart with nothing,
Only a aching that wouldn't end,
I feel each moment of pain,
Each second of agony,
Love and my heart together,
Causing mass destruction,
Leaving me in a dark abyss,
For I am the one to suffer,
While they go off and just love one another.

He
Yes he is like
The waves
That make me smile to see
He is the sparkle
In an animals eye
He is the beauty
In every raindrop
You see
He is wonderous
Like the wind
On a warm day
Or the sun's rays
On a cold day.

I know
Your hurting
And your all messed up
Your thoughts scattered
Only knowing
The kind of person
You want me to be
Avoiding who I am
Not seeing
How clearly your hurting me
And blinded
To how hard I'm fighting
To stay
Because my heart begs
Pleading that I've fought to hard
And far too long to quit now
But I know this will become
Our undoing
For you
Despite what you say
Only accept me
But if you really loved me
You'd accept who I'm not.

I used to be *****
Life use to be so empty and hopeless
I fought a battle with myself each day
I wanted the blade and at times
I would give in
And let another one
Pierce my skin
I was so numb
Darkness surrounded me
I fought my demons
For they followed my every footstep
I wondered if light
If happiness or love would ever enter my life again
And when I had given up hope
Given up on anything good coming into my life
I let you back in
And suddenly
My whole wide world lit up
And my angel
My love
My rescuer had found me again
And I felt complete with him by my side.

She ***** up
As tight as she can
And she cries
And her soul aches
And she misses him
For the billionth time in her life
And it's all so pointless
And all she wants is a knife
And all she does is cry
Everything is falling apart
And she has nothing
No happiness
She misses love
Misses hugs and kisses
And comfort
She misses so much
She's broken
And she can no longer fix herself
No longer pretend it'll be okay.

I woke up with
Aching lungs
That dreadfully
Keep contracting
And my eyes
Fill with the pain
Shedding drops of love
Uncaught and missing you
You can't go baby
I can't lose you
This distance
Is already too much
This time I dont even
Get a goodbye kiss
Just a hospital bed
With giving doctors telling me
I'm dying of heartbreak
And my claws
Never dragging me closer
To your comfort
Oh how I need you
Dont leave me.