I think I hate you
Or hate myself for loving you

How many breaths of betrayal
Did you inhale my dear

Let me **** them out
Let me ride the dark wave with you

I won't let you be alone
Won't let myself forget

Once upon a time
We were happy

We were more than roommates

We were lovers
Wild and free
Roaming the streets
Kissing at every corner

We were friends
Laughing at all our misadventures

We held each other when one
Was distraught

I craddled your body in my arms
And you craddled mine in yours

Our souls forever entwined
Forever my dear

But alas the mortal world
Has once again corrupted
What was once perfectly imperfect love

I cannot sleep without remembering
That you once laid beside me

I cannot breathe without feeling you
Your deep internal aching

That no amount of denying
Will convince me of

You were not perfect
Neither was I

But we loved
We loved

In a way no one else
Can ever make us forget.

You


Marrying *you



Being with you forever


Baring a child with you


Falling asleep wrapped close to you


Waking up beside you


Living life fighting happily for *you

I wake up every morning
Knowing I can't hold you
With the facts running
They grab me and won't let go
Remind me
I will never get to wake up
Beside you
Won't hold your hand
Or kiss those lips
I'll never hear the words
That I ache to hear
Never get to feel
Me in your arms
I have to settle
For a look
A word that
Can make my heart soar
I have to settle
Living my life
Knowing we'll never
Be anything more
Than the nothing we are now.

The Girl Who Had Fears,
Ended In Tears,
Her Heart Was Torn Apart
By The Boy That She Loved From The Start,
The Pain Made Her Weak,
It Made Her Future Bleak,
She Tried To Pretend It Didn't End,
She Put On A Smile And Tried To Act Strong,
But Eventually Her Face Grew Long,
She Couldn't Hold Back Her Cries,
She's Constantly Reminded Of All Their Tries,
The Love That Died,
After She Discovered He Had Lied,
He Never Loved Her,
The Memories All Blur,
She Is So Unsure,
After All The Pain She's Endured,
She Wonders If She'll Ever Again Feel Secure,
Will She Ever Love,Will She Ever Trust,
Her Heart May Combust,
She Can't Take The Pain From Her Heart That Was Just Slain,
Love Made Her Go Insane,
She May Never Be The Same,
All Because She Played Into His Game.

I am from the shimmer in your eyes
From the desire in your soul
I am made up of our love
Held together by every breath-taking moment
I am from that kiss
That always makes me smile
I was never truly alive
Not until the day I met you
Before that day
I was a drone
Never living life as I should
Nothing mattered before you
I was hopelessly lost
And when you found me
I knew where I was heading
I knew what I wanted life to be
So I am from your laughter
That fills my heart
I am from your hugs
That wrap me in a warm embrace
I am from your breath
And your heartbeat
I am from our undying love
That will go on until the end of time.

Do me a favor
Think of our child
Don't you want 'em
To be strong
And stick up
For what they believe
Don't you want them
To have a choice
In what they believe in
Because they might
Just hate you if you pressure them
Like you are me
Don't you want them
To be happy
To love you
To exist?

Bad days with some tears is the way to go,
Not with fear,
Not with a knife,
Because right now I just wanna live life,
And with my will to fight,
I'll live on even if the light isn't always shining bright,
I will try and even when I fail,
I'll have a new tale,
Of my new power,
My face may be sour,
But at least I know I'm strong,
Though I waited long,
It was worth it in the end,
This completion I can't pretend,
So this real,
This is really how good I feel...

It was raw
And I knew it
Had to be true
You said you loved me
And I believed
Despite
The pain
The agony
Our battle
The victory is always
Rewarded to Love.

I miss you

My heart is being torn

And fear has blossomed

But I love you

And that's impossible to change.

So for now

Know that when I say I miss you

I'm actually say

How badly I wish you were here.

The past
It's branded me for life
I've paid for my mistakes
Begged on my knees
Cried for the world to see
But this monstrous thing haunts me
It has me in it's grasp
And reminds me everyday
Of all the bad I've done
And that evil will always
Live in my heart
The devil himself
Marked me
As his creation.

Every time
Those words are
Spoken
There's a tingle
In the pit of me
Those words so
Glorious
That my
Soul
is
Completely
Overjoyed.

I would've stayed
Standing and whispering
Hoping my tales of life
Wouldn't worry you too much
If there weren't others
Watching me as I awkwardly stared
I would've stayed
And told you
That each day is up and down
That I might get a happy ending
If I work hard enough
If there wasn't so much snow
I would've sat there
And talked about what life
Could have been like
If we were still together
Laughing and arguing
Being wild together
But you have molded a part of who I am
I wish I could have stayed
Because I miss you.

Please

I beg


Please

Visit my

Dreams tonight.

I hear his voice in my ear but when I turn around he's nowhere to be found.I feel his hand entwined with mine but when I look down his hand is nowhere to be found.I feel my hands running through his hair but how can that be if he is nowhere to be found.I feel him,His essence all around me but yet he is simply Nowhere to be found...

I am the evil that will rot your brain,
The false sense of comfort,
The strange shadow that follow in your tracks,
I am the water trying to drown you,
The carbon monoxide trying to suffocate you,
I am the heart beating within your chest,
I am guilty,
I am everywhere and nowhere,
But I Am Nothing.

To my future husband
Who see's me as his future wife
I love you,
I love the future we planned
Our child
Our marriage
The life we'll have together
Forever
Such contentment
In the very idea
The thought of
Falling asleep while you lie
Right next to me
Sleeping that way you do
So much joy
In the image of our family
The one we create
The life we can have
As long as we're here
As long as we believe
My future husband
Just do that
Be my future
Remain my past and present
But one day be mine
Be my husband.

I need to hold you close
Pull your body near mine
Kiss your neck
Then your lips
To feel you body in my arms
Bring it closer
For our lips to never part
The moments I could spend
Holding you
And exploring you
These moments can be
Part of magic memories
Magic moments.

If this
Is a test
I quit,
You won,
I'm weak.

I used to
Dream of kissing you
Hugging you
Holding your hand
Making love
Hearing you say
You loved me
The way I loved you
I begged to God
To the stars above
And I tried so hard
To explain
That I knew
I KNEW
You and me
We were meant to be
I cried so many tears
I shed so much blood
Felt so much pain
And somehow
Lucky old me
Finally passed the beginning
Of that fairy-tale
And now after
Everything
After my praying
My wishing
My hoping
And my dreaming
I have you
To Hug
To Kiss
To love
Forever
My dearest King
You surely did
Rescue me
Even if it was from myself.

They think its only been a few months
Its been years
I've waited
And waited
For you
And I know
Everyday that
I am alive
Is better now
Knowing that after
My LONG
Wait
I got you
Now and forever.

See
Our
Undying
Love

------------------------
Maybe
All
True
­Experiences
S**urvive.

My internal wounds
Cut so deep
That the blood chokes me

The feeling of a wave crashing onto me
And yet no wave in sight

The weight of love and heartbreak
Held in my little hands
As though I was ever strong enough
To even lift them

The crushing of hopes and dreams
Which tortures the soul
And leaves my mind scrambling

I am searching now
For my cure all
And cursing myself
That the cure is a man's love

For it is harder to find
Than a piece of hay dust
In a stack of needles.

I get scared
Because your so
Attractive and I
Am just a girl
Guys have only
Taken interest
To use me
And I'm scared sometimes
That you'll want
To leave me
But I guess we both
Have some fears
Mine more realistic
Because your
Unique perfection
And I'm a mess
I ramble
And I rant
Losing myself
In life
And you seem
Stronger
Like your tethered
And torn soul
Can handle so much more
Than my worn one
I love you
And I want to forever
To be yours
But I get scared
Because I don't know
What you see
In a girl like me.

If Your My Wish On A Star Coming True May Your Light Never Fade,
If Your Just In My Dreams May I Never Wake,
If God Exists And Heard My Prayer It Must've Come True,
If This Is My Birthday Wish Becoming Reality Then I Know What To Wish For Forever.

Just those eyes are worth all the stars in the sky,
Your smile gleaming bright like the sun,
Life wouldn't matter if I could just dream of you and those lips forever,
God may be almighty but compared to you he's only some guy in the sky,
And If each year I wish for you,
For you in my arms,
and in my heart I'd do it,
Even if it didn't always come true,
Because no matter what I want to know that I'm truly dedicated to you.

You've been gone only a day
And it feels like weeks
I miss you
miss lying in your arms
And the way you kiss my forehead
I miss the feeling of waking up to you
I cannot bare the distance
My heart aches
its trying to fight its way out
my heart is trying to find you
Reach you through the distance
I miss you baby and these words
They've become gibberish
I used to be so good at speaking
When I was sad
But after the gift of you happiness
Became what I was use to.
Now what am I to do
Without any words worth saying
without you.

I took her hand
Looked her in the eyes
And whispered
"It's you"
She looked ay me
Came close
Ran her hand through
My hair
And kissed me
And it was the
Best kiss of my life
In that moment
I knew
She'd always be mine
And I'd always be hers.

This body is a jail
I don't belong to it
Don't feel right
I get lost in my mind
Can't understand
How everything is in ruins
This is me
But only my body
There's another girl
Hidden inside of me
She's just too scared
To come out

I hear the words
They enter my body
Penetrate my soul
Leave me with this aching
An empty hollowness
I fight back tears
Hold them in with might
But instantly
In the pit of me I urge
My mind thinks of it
And there is no turning back
I want that pain now
To feel the blade seep into me
For that one instant I wish to scream
Because this is me fighting myself
This is me at my weakest
And Still Trying To Be Strong.

Not even language can keep love apart,not for long.

I'm still trying
To forget
All those days
Without you
Where I waited
All that time
I spent broken
Drowning in tears
Because I lost
You
The one
I knew was the one
I remember those
Restless nights
Where I fell into
A painful sleep
Invaded by memories
It all used to ache
Because I couldn't help but
Remember
That the day you left
We looked back
And looked at each other
And now it seems
That was the goodbye
I always wanted
It just took me a long time to realize
You did say goodbye
You said it when you turned back
To look at me
Before you left
Into this dark world.

I miss you
I know it sounds
Sad and desperate
But *I miss you
Your not here
To hold me
And your not here
To kiss me as though
Your kissing away
All the pain I've ever felt
Your not here
And I know it's not your fault
But *I miss you.

Sometimes
I wish
I could
Kiss away
The unseen
Scars
The invisible
Wounds too
Sometimes
I want to
Patch up all
The Holes in our heart
Erase all the bad
From our evil pasts

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I love you

I'm sorry

Can you forgive me?

Have any of you figured out how to stop yourself from loving deeply?

I feel it everyday in my bones
And I can't force myself to stop
Loving him is so natural for me.

Have you figured out how to stop crying over a broken heart?

I still feel the aching of his absence and it is unbearable.

Have you figured out how to live without love?

I still can't stop myself to racing to his call. He is the light of my life even if he's a pessimist. He's my pessimist. Except he's not my anything.

Have you figured it out yet?