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You were supposed to be my future
                                                             My Heart was yours
I thought we'd last forever
                                                       We lived through rough times and still cared
But caring wasn't good enough
                                                       I dreamed you'd be my husband
My future sons' father
                                                     We intertwined so perfectly
You can love someone else now
                                                                                             And apparently a whole lot longer
I was the vast sky and you were the stars that filled me
                                                                                            Now your my past
An aching that doesn't quit
                                                  When I think you've left my life
You appear like magic
                                                     To hurt me more
Wound a already broken heart
                                                    And watch as I go down
I loved you once upon a time
                                                                 But now I just wish you'd leave
Just like you did when we were together
                                                                     Except this time
Please don't come back
                                           You've caused enough pain.
423 · Jan 2013
Fear
Something in
The pit of me
Broke
As fear whispered
*It's not time yet
423 · Sep 2011
Dream
I dream of bright days,
Where laughter is key,
and where the pain doesn't even bother to exist,
I Dream of glowing nights,
Radiated by the beauty of the moon,
Where only peaceful thoughts roam,
I dream of a magical place,
Where I can imagine endlessly,
having each one become reality,
I call this place Dreamland. ♥
423 · Dec 2015
Not my Valentine
Your I love you's
Are like the Valentine cards
I got that another classmates
Mother forced them to give

I am unwanted
Yet sent sweet
Soul caressing words.
422 · Feb 2012
"Dear Heart"
Dear Heart,
I will **** you,
You have fallen for only fools,
I will strike in silence,
I declare only hatred for the pain you've caused,
How dare you,
You ****** abyss of nothing,
You are the worhtlessness in me,
You are the center of pity inside of me,
With each beat my hate only grows,
Dear heart,
Your death will come,
And it will hurt.
I grew weary of heart break
Of being hidden
Being not quite enough

I was not asking you to choose
I was asking you to accept me

And after all these years

You still couldn't just love me

You just couldn't promise me you wouldn't break my heart again.
422 · Aug 2012
Just Need To Make Sure.
I wish
I could kiss you
One last time
To make sure
We lost our spark
To ensure
No feelings
Will come back
I wish
I could make sure
That my love
Will never
Return
To make sure
That you'll
Never
Break my heart
Again
I just need
To affirm
That you're
No longer capable
Of hurting me
Ever again
421 · Mar 2013
Weakling
Its as though
They smell my
Weaknesses
Long before they
Attack
They must know

They must.
421 · Feb 2013
Needy (10w)
I need you
I wanna cry
And I need you.
421 · Feb 2013
Haunted Halls
Knowing
Your sweet
And gentle
Heart
Has loved before
Will always
Ache
Always sever
A small part inside of me
But I can't change it
I can't say I hate you
Because I love you
And you know
I've done worse
Than just love
I've tried so hard
To erase the past
And not let
Curiosity
Eat away at me
But the algae of jealousy
And the atoms
Of our past
Come back to haunt us.
421 · May 2014
Limitless
Never limit yourself,
So many people do that
So let me just say
If you want to find
The one
Find them
And spend forever,
Yes my dears,
Spend forever in each others arms.
That's what I'm aiming for...Though I found him we just have to get there again... :-)
421 · Jul 2012
Memories Collide
I miss you
I do not love you
It's all a game
That my body plays
At the slightest acknowledgement
Of your Existence
My heart fumbles
And my hands shake
But the past is the past
And I dislike remembering
Who I was
So I remind myself
Of another I loved
But then my heart
Is aching
And I start to miss
Him too
Only I start to
Remember
My heart
Is still his to hold.
421 · Feb 2011
I envy
I envy the beauty in others but I know inside,where there soul lies,Is not beauty but a monster staring straight at me
421 · Sep 2022
Silence
I think about reaching out all the time

But I know I would care too much

And you wouldn't care at all

I know if I did I would hurt

So each day I hold myself back

Because I have nothing and everything to say

And I know it's best to leave things the way they are.
421 · Dec 2012
Please Please Me. (10w)
I want
You to
Make love
To me
So
Badly.
421 · Jul 2014
Seven
Your

           Arms

Are

         A

Synonym

                For

Home.
420 · Feb 2014
Dust
There is golden dust
Which twinkle
In your sweet
Brown eyes.
420 · Apr 2011
I thought...
I thought you loved me...
I thought when you held me to your body everything would be alright...
I thought when you kissed me I was more than a friend...
I thought when we touched we shared a moment for just us to remember..
I thought when you left everything would feel that same...
I was wrong everything seemed to change....
The cuts got deeper...
The tears came more often...
And the broken heart could never be healed...
All because of your sweet lies....
All because one day I looked into your dark brown eyes....
420 · Aug 2011
They call it fate
They Call it fate,we were each others mate,Now You must be everything I hate.You may wait but nothing will change,Don't begin to act strange ,We will continue to exchange our glances,This Is what I get for taking chances,only broken romances.A love story gone wrong,I guess this is so-long.I'll try my best to act strong.</3
420 · Nov 2015
Fiction
I won't write a book about us

We were a whirlwind disaster

But I loved every heart wrenching moment

I won't write you a book

Because we failed

I'll write some fiction

About us working

About us loving forever

Just like we promised

I'll write some fiction

And it will be beautiful.
420 · Nov 2012
Creation Of Evil
From the land of the
Dead did I emerge
Wounds and scars
My way of life
Tragic love stories
Whispered in my ear each night
Making it so hard to fight

I was born from
Tears and prayers unanswered
I am from a mystical darkness
That always seems to loom

I am the Mighty Queen
Of complicated lives
Of broken hearts
And lost words
The monster in me
Was born the night
I came to life
(In the momement I first knew love)
And it promised never to leave
On the day I learned heart-break
Here I lie now
A creation of evil
Fighting to be good
To be anything but
What the world has tried
To make me.
You
Were
Suppose
To
Make
It
All
Better
Not
Worse.
419 · Jul 2016
Jump
The only way to find happiness
Is to risk unhappiness
Take a leap
And pray you land on your feet
And that on the way
Nothing gets broken.
Your stronger than this
But your not
It was all his game
But it felt like you were winning
You can't hold on
But you don't know how to let go
You can't believe
But that's all you've done
You need to bury the memories
You already dug them up
You can just ignore him
But you don't want to
You hate him*
But you love him more
418 · Mar 2012
Love Burns A Fire.
A Look Can Ignite The Flame,
Embers become fires with only words,
This fire is losing control,
A hug,
A kiss,
A touch,
And three words,
And I might just start a forest fire,
The heat that radiates off me may be the end of us all,
In your presence the world will not have a cold day,
With you near I will never need warmth,
I will always need one thing,
You,
So you can warm the cold
And bring light to the darkness,
I Just Need You,
No Matter What The Flames May Do.
416 · Sep 2011
Blinded and Broken
I was Naive,
Foolish,
So easily tricked into believing anything,
I didn't see the heartbreak waiting for me in the end,
But there is was,
And now all I can do
Is try to put my life back together again
It feels impossible but I want it so badly,
Maybe one day someone can come along
And fix what others decided to break.
416 · Oct 2012
Help In The Realms.
Forever
Can you please
Happen sooner.

Time
Can you move
Just a little faster.

Love
Can you last
A little longer.

Will-power
Please just get
A little stronger.

Emotions
Can you just
Make up your mind.
416 · Jan 2013
Outlook On Love
Love makes you do
Crazy things
****** up things
Love makes you lie
Love keeps you in fear
Love can break you
Chew you up and spit you out
Love can destroy lives
But love can also create them
Love can make you feel vulnerable
Which isn't always bad
Love makes you more honest
At least with yourself
Love keeps you safe
Love can heal your wounds
And help the scars fade
Love is something
Insane
Love is all a person needs
To get by.
416 · May 2014
Rambles For J
I've made
A lot of mistakes
In my short life
But some things
I will never
Do again
Is burying myself
Is burying my love
I will never again
Try to stop this feeling
And I will never stop
Fighting for you
My love reaches
So far beyond
The average means
God gave me and you
Large sensitive hearts
To love each other with
So listen to it beats
Rythmically move us
To tears and nothing can stop this
Connected by love and history
No matter where you go
I will find you
Even if years from now
I must reach out
Fly over oceans
I will find you
God awakens me
Inspires me to fight
Tells me we're suppose to be
Meant to love each other
Because the strength we find
The happiness we find
In time spent cuddled together
Or kissing in the rain
It inspires the world
It defeats all wariness
We're a special love
That no one understands
But it's because of that
We're held together
Forever bonded
In my heart
You will always be my husband
And I am your wife
And I may not be the strongest
Or the most positive
But I believe in us
In our love
And because of it
I believe we'll survive
Survive through the worst of storms
And we'll come out hand in hand
Thanking God for everything
And praying each day
We'll never have to part again
And I promise one day we won't.
415 · Jan 2013
Venom Eyes
**** it hushboy
Your eyes that sting
Like venom
**** your dimples
Because they're
So apparent from afar
**** you and
You devilish hate
In a past life it would've
Worked out
But in this world
You and I are enemies
With history
Where I used to care
And you
Who the hell knows
But all is over
And now all I receive
Is your
Venomous stare.
415 · Aug 2012
I Am My Worst Demon Of All.
Just when I feel
Okay
I ***** up
Don't even
Realize my massive mistake
And only when
I'm on my knees
Crying for forgiveness
And understanding
Do I see my fault
Yet
It's the cycle of me
Because I don't allow
Myself joy
I allow only
Agony and misery
Confusion and
Terrible behavior tendencies
Due to my ways
I'll never
Smile
And know
That I'll
Always feel that happiness
Because it gets taken away
By
Myself.
414 · Dec 2016
Marks of Love
When you left me
For the last time
You took a picture of us
I wish I still had
I miss your face
That scar
That somehow
Made you perfect
I wonder if you have it still
I wonder if you look at it
And say how you miss my face
And my freckle
That you use to kiss
We were imperfect
And we fought to love each other
Because it wasn't easy
But we found it in those little things
We found it
Together.
414 · Feb 2014
Reappear
I hope that
If you look me in the eyes
You might see my love
Faithful and undying
Incapable of withering
Only hurting
And as unbearable
As the pain may be
You may look into my eyes
And still see an unfaltering love
My love deeper than the depth of the seas
Stacked upon on one another
My love so grand and endless
Will you cherish it
Look me in the eyes
See it
See how I feel
And wrap me in your arms
Make the pain dissipate
With those three blissful words
Make it clear that I am yours
And you are mine
And that we are only each others
For now and always.
Thinking about how piece by piece it fell apart and how I want it to all come back together.
Waking up and instantly you enter my thoughts,
I can't even think about the day ahead,
Your image flutters by,
Your stuck on my mind,
Waking up filled with memories,
Memories of the dreams I previously dreamed of,
You were there too,
God your everywhere,
They say this is love,
When you can't get someone outta your head
But what if the one you love said everything you ever shared was just pretend?
414 · Apr 2011
Forever
I miss your embrace and your glorious face I'm such a disgrace,A big waste of space this place is not for me.....My hearts racing it keeps pacing.... I can't forget our memories they were short but sweet.Memorable and forgettable but our memories will forever be a small part of me...
414 · Apr 2013
Just Saying
Comfort

Your arms

Sweet bliss

Your kiss

Speechless

Our bodies collding

Eternal*

The love that binds us
414 · Dec 2012
So Called Friendships
All my best friends
And most
Of my friends
Have faded away
They no longer
Entwine their
Life with mine
And suddenly
In this crowded room
I feel all alone.
I fell for you
So weak to my knees
Butterflies
And the shakes
You left me breathless
Brought me joy
And made everything better
I love you
And you love me
But it never ends the fear
It never puts away my doubt
It doesn't **** my fear
That one day you'll leave me
That one day you'll break my heart.
413 · Dec 2015
My Own Disease
I am my own disease

It spreads like wildfire

My veins burst

My skin bruises

My insides begin to die

I am my own disease

You are the cure

So far and out of reach

I will die

Before ever even getting close.
412 · Aug 2014
Doorway to Tomorrow
This love



It's so much more


Than you'll ever understand


He and I



We're more than teenagers in love




Together we are one completed soul




Together



We are happy



What kind of person





Would tear real love apart?
412 · Aug 2011
Was this truly our fate?
To much time has past,
I know if we start it could never last,
You wouldn't let it,
You simply can't commit,
I've loved you to long,
But now I sense somethings wrong,
Your heart went cold,
Just as I was told,
I warned you
My love would always be true,
I tried to stop,
And all my heart did was drop,
You've left my heart slain,
You just called it to plain,
So now I'm filled with pain,
My heart has mixed feelings of disdain,
But this heart will not die in vein,
Hear me complain that it's you that made me insane.
Don't even try and explain,
I see now,
What your heart does not allow,
It is everything I was willing to give.
The love has turned into a hate,
Was this truly our fate?
I loved once upon a time
but he wore a crafty mask
made up of smiles
laughter
a defiant gaze
his brown eyes would shine
such hope was found there
his poor mask
worn by a cruel master
who turned out to be
only a fool
in the process of breaking my heart
I got to break part of his
and while I may never completely recover
I hope he doesn't either
because he doesn't deserve to be whole.
My favorite place is on that street,right above the Highway,
Where the cars pass,
I might have no clue where they are going,
But in that instance As I watch those cars racing by,
I smile and let out a silent chuckle,
My mind is at peace,
Maybe it's the wind blowing in my face,
But I think it's the uncertainty of where life will take me,
I think it is the uncertainty that makes me so happy,
Because in that instance,
the bad is gone and all I think of,
Are The Possibilities,
The moments in the future that I hope leads me to happiness,
Those cars hold people,
I have no Idea where they are going,
In life or in that car,
And I guarantee they have their own little adventure to embark on,
As Do I,
And There On That Street Above The Highway There Are So Many Possibilities,
Just Waiting for me or anybody to just take action
412 · Jan 2013
Apollo the Cat
My kitty
Is here for me
If no one else will be
She'll share this bed with me.
412 · Dec 2011
That Boy I'm Falling For.
Simple feelings,
They overload me,
Override my barely functioning system,
Why do you do this to me?
Make me smile by just walking into a room,
Make my heart jump when you catch me look your way,
Why do you make me happy when I see your smiling face?
Oh,I almost forgot your everything I want,
Almost forgot that every time we talk I feel my cheeks blush with pure excitement,
Everything about you keeps me both happy and sad,
So happy because your so amazing but so sad because you'll never want me,
Not like I want you.
Everyone is always trying to explain what love is

Love is nothing and everything

It is the unseen beauty that keeps life flowing

Love is the thing that builds

Heartbreak is the thing that destroys

They are not the same

Love is the look of a weary soul coming home
After a long day and wanting
Just to rest,
Believing the night has nothing left to offer
But being delivered sustenance
Followed by quiet listening
Love is playing a game to ease the pain

Cuddling to ease the weariness that consumes
Destroy weariness, for it creates doubt,

Love is sleeping beside each other,
And laughing at each other
Because each night
Someone is being smooshed  into the corner of the bed

Love is the tears of a petty fight
That erupts from jealousy
Love lurks in the fear of losing it all

Love is in hope
Whether it's only one of you
Or the both
Love is there

Love is in the idea of marriage

In the hopes it'll happen
and if it does or has that it will last forever

Love is in their eyes,
And how they try to crack a smile
Even when they feel down and depressed

Love is there

Love is here

I can never give up on such a wonderful thing

Love in the beginning

Love in the middle

Love in the end

And Love forever.
411 · Dec 2012
How I Felt This Day
I miss you
Already
Already
Already

I miss you
Here
I miss you
*Now
411 · Jun 2013
Magical Places
"Your eyes are glowing"

I know
And yours as well
As you admire me
I love it
Love the very idea
Of this little town
Something draws me in
The pure beauty
The little shops
The sea just moments away
Oh how I love the sea
My eyes fixate on its movement
I love it here
With you
In this place
That feels
Magical.
411 · Mar 2016
And His Name Is
She was the brown eyed dreamer

Always hoping for the best

So full of aspiration

Until one day a man knocked on her door

This man's name was depression

He clung to her like a second skin

Tearing away her hopes and dreams

Suddenly everything she wanted

Seemed impossible

He held her down

And she tried to fight him

But all she was left with

Was fake smiles

So no one else would see the monster cloaking her

Depression ran her fingertip across a blade

And she fought to put it away

She won't let him win again

Even if it feels like he is

He makes her heart break some days

And on others he lets her breathe

His cruelest trick is making her cry

When she almost feels happy.
410 · Apr 2012
Darling Hold On.
Flower me in your embrace,
breath sweet truths in my ear,
take your time dear,
I can wait,
for you I would wait an eternity,
please don't forget me,
your time is nearly up here,
and though I wish you'd stay
you too will walk away,
I too will be forgotten,
but darling let us lavish in now,
let me bathe in your arms,
and never let me forget this feeling,
this glorious feeling of knowing you,
of being yours,
hold on tight darling,
until you must go.
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