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You were supposed to be my future
                                                             My Heart was yours
I thought we'd last forever
                                                       We lived through rough times and still cared
But caring wasn't good enough
                                                       I dreamed you'd be my husband
My future sons' father
                                                     We intertwined so perfectly
You can love someone else now
                                                                                             And apparently a whole lot longer
I was the vast sky and you were the stars that filled me
                                                                                            Now your my past
An aching that doesn't quit
                                                  When I think you've left my life
You appear like magic
                                                     To hurt me more
Wound a already broken heart
                                                    And watch as I go down
I loved you once upon a time
                                                                 But now I just wish you'd leave
Just like you did when we were together
                                                                     Except this time
Please don't come back
                                           You've caused enough pain.
435 · May 2014
Rambles For J
I've made
A lot of mistakes
In my short life
But some things
I will never
Do again
Is burying myself
Is burying my love
I will never again
Try to stop this feeling
And I will never stop
Fighting for you
My love reaches
So far beyond
The average means
God gave me and you
Large sensitive hearts
To love each other with
So listen to it beats
Rythmically move us
To tears and nothing can stop this
Connected by love and history
No matter where you go
I will find you
Even if years from now
I must reach out
Fly over oceans
I will find you
God awakens me
Inspires me to fight
Tells me we're suppose to be
Meant to love each other
Because the strength we find
The happiness we find
In time spent cuddled together
Or kissing in the rain
It inspires the world
It defeats all wariness
We're a special love
That no one understands
But it's because of that
We're held together
Forever bonded
In my heart
You will always be my husband
And I am your wife
And I may not be the strongest
Or the most positive
But I believe in us
In our love
And because of it
I believe we'll survive
Survive through the worst of storms
And we'll come out hand in hand
Thanking God for everything
And praying each day
We'll never have to part again
And I promise one day we won't.
435 · Aug 2011
Death
Some people go looking for death,
Some wish death upon themselves,
For what I believe to be incoherent reasons,
I know what it is like in that dark place,
But The light shines through eventually,
You just need patience,
Death will come for you,
One day it will find you
When your hair is gray
and you've gone senile,
Death will find it's way to you one day,
Some way.
Until death creeps up to get you,
Live life,
Don't worry about the bad,
One day,
If you try hard enough,
It'll get better.
435 · Mar 2012
We're All Human.
Does it matter who we love?
Does it matter who we think of?
We should be free to choose,
To love and learn to lose,
Equal rights for all,
Our group isn't so small,
We are just like you,
Our love can be true too,
We will not change,
Don't cut our lives back a page,
We are people,
Let us marry on the same steeple.
We won't give up our fight,
Not until the law says our love is right.
435 · Aug 2011
Beautiful Death My Savior.
Death I savored the thought,
It would pass my mind constantly,
Death had consumed my life,
I wished for it,
I wanted to die as I slept,
But I knew this was a wish not likely to become reality,
So I contemplated how I would die,
At my age
It would have to be forced,
So my mind wandered
Eventually I came across the simplest answer,
Pills,
Wouldn't that be painless?
Death was my savior,
I thought it would bring me peace,
But what if it brought me more hell than Life did?
So I sat there,
On my bed,
The bottle in my hand,
Crying,
Knowing I'd have to stick this life out,
Just wishing there was something to make it easier,
To make it fade,
And it was that day,
I picked up my first blade
435 · Feb 2012
Love Is Not Mutual.
The worst story ever told
Is the story of your first love,
And how he ended up with your best friend.
435 · Apr 2011
I gave you...
It felt like I gave you everything...
I gave you my heart to love with,
I gave you my smiles and laughter,
I gave you my arms so we could hug,
I gave you my lips so we could kiss,
But I never got the thing I wanted most,
YOUR HEART...
435 · Mar 2012
Today I Thought About You.
I thought about you today,

About us,

The kisses shared,

The hand held,

The friend I had,

Today I thought about you,

About you and her,

The kisses shared,

The hugs,

The friendship,

Today I thought about you,

About what changed,

About how I messed up,

Today I thought about
             me
             and
             you
             and
             her,

And how lucky she is,

And how sorry I am.
435 · Jan 2013
After Effects
My body
Bloated with passion
Is not easy without you
For I writhe
Back arched
Soft frustration
Uttered from my lips
Hand desperate to touch
To feel
Roam
But it's nothing
Compared to
How every
Kiss
Every caress feels with you.
434 · Mar 2013
Our Life
I remember our life
The one that started
When you walked
Up to me and asked
Me to be a part of
Your life
And I eventually
Accepted
I think about all
The time I spent
Loving you
Being in your arms
All our laughs and smiles
Each breathtaking kiss
I then begin to wonder
About our future together
The wedding certificate
Sharing a bed
A home
My life entwining with yours
And our child
A beautiful sign of
Our undying love
This little baby
That is made of part you and part me
Raising this child with you
Growing old together
And dying so happily
And still so in love.
434 · Sep 2013
You Are My Sunrise
I once lived by the moonlight
For in my world there was never
Any sunlight without you
For you are my sunrise
You are my light in the dark.
You begin the day with me
And when you go
You go at sunset
For you my dear
Are the sun
Shining in all it's beautiful glory.
434 · Sep 2015
Paradox of Love
I am me because I loved you
And I loved you because I am me.
433 · Aug 2011
They call it fate
They Call it fate,we were each others mate,Now You must be everything I hate.You may wait but nothing will change,Don't begin to act strange ,We will continue to exchange our glances,This Is what I get for taking chances,only broken romances.A love story gone wrong,I guess this is so-long.I'll try my best to act strong.</3
433 · Nov 2011
She Wants Nothing More.
She was at the ledge,
Ready to fall,
So near the edge,
She can't handle it all,
Her eyes fill,
She begins to bawl,
She wants her life to end,
She tried to be happy,
But she couldn't stand playing pretend,
Her heart was smashed,
Torn to pieces,
She was so obviously trashed,
Friends abandoned the weak,
She was invisible,
Her future seemed bleak,
Still She hides the pain,
No matter the hurt,
No matter how her heart was slain,
She masks her life,
Wishing,
Wanting just the knife,
Just one more time,
It gave off adrenaline,
It made her feel sublime,
She gave up hope
And decided there was only one way to cope,
Just to die,
And and not let another see her cry,
Just so they wouldn't see her weak,
So they couldn't see that little streak,
That light,
The one that flew away that night,
The night she died,
The last night she cried.
Sense Made=None.
Long.
****** Rhyming.
Hey,I Tried.
433 · Jan 2013
Love Is Our Conquerer.
It was raw
And I knew it
Had to be true
You said you loved me
And I believed
Despite
The pain
The agony
Our battle
The victory is always
Rewarded to Love.
432 · Oct 2013
Be Strong
I remember how lonely
This time of the year was
Without him
And now that he's here
And mine
I hope that you feel
The comfort I do
I hope you find someone
To hold and keep you grounded
And safe
I know this time of the year
And it can be tough all alone.
432 · Apr 2014
Problem Is
The problem with him is
He's not you

The problem is
I don't love him
The way I love you,
Or at all for that matter

The problem is
I don't want to
Hug him or kiss him
The way I want to
Hug and kiss you

The problem is
He knows
I'm in love with you
That no matter what
I can't erase how I feel

The problem is
That he doesn't
Match me
Or move me to tears
With his presence
And he doesn't inspire me

The problem with him
And with every man
I will ever meet
Is that *They're not you
432 · Aug 2011
Your eyes
Your eyes told so many stories,
Your eyes spoke so many words,
Yet your lips never moved an inch,
That's how in synch we were,
Your eyes once said give this a chance,just friends and just hope,
Your eyes once made me laugh and smile,
Your eyes once whispered It was never her I wanted,
Your eyes once trembled please stop this madness I care for you,
Your eyes once seduced me into your arms,
Your eyes once told me you loved me,
Your eyes once made me realize,realize that life without those eyes would be no life at all...
432 · Jan 2016
Expecting you
The worst part is
I still expect you
I was waiting last night in bed
To welcome you home
Hug you and cuddle
Into your chest just a little
Imagining you saying
How you've missed me
I still expect to see you out the window
Walking up the street to meet me
I still expect you to kiss me
To hold me until I sleep
To show up one day
And get all your stuff
And tell me how you're sorry
Sorry you left me again
And you never will again
I still expect you to love me
When you have long gone
I miss you
And your shadow lurks
On every wall
You were completely flawed
But I loved you still
Because we were imperfect love
I still expect you baby
Always will.
432 · Oct 2016
The Hope to Hopeless
Once again I believed
I had found love
Because I loved so strongly
I believed it could be enough
For the two of us
But as strong as my love may be
It cannot make them stay
They are destined to leave
They all are.
I won't apologize
For standing my ground
For the first time all these years
I will say I'm sorry I expected more
That I assumed you would
Actually fight for me
We were suppose to marry
And we were suppose to hold
Little spence or serenity
Suppose to argue over
Santa and the tooth fairy
Somehow we lost it all
All that's left is the duffle bag
In what was our room
In the end
I missed you
Because you had checked out
6 months prior to leaving
Slowly we died
Our dreams melted away
And I stood in the puddle of it
You stopped calling me beautiful
Started insulting the way I dressed
You stopped kissing me
And got angry when I asked
You stopped making love
And wondered why I cried
You stared at the television
As you thrusted into me
Emotionaless
Did you love me then?
Do you now?
Because even though
I hate what happened
What we became
I still remember
The day we ditched school
With no money
And explored
And I was freezing
So you offered me your leather jacket
That was always too small for me
I remember kissing in snow
Rain
And sunshine
I remember the way you wanted me
The hunger in your eyes all consuming
I remember the way
You held me
The way you laughed
And dreamed of fatherhood
I remember us in love
And I wonder
How could something
We fought so long for
Suddenly not work
How could you hold me
That night
Only to wake up
And leave me
How could you leave me
When all my life
I have asked for you to stay.
431 · Jun 2017
Will I Die?
Each day I think
"What if one of us dies today"
And I know that's a grim way to look at things
But I know if it were to ever happen
I wouldn't want us to be like this
Living separate lives

I don't want to die not knowing if I ever meant anything
And I just don't want you to ever die
Because I love you
And even when I think about dying
I think about you
Not me
Just my life
Just you.
431 · May 2012
I Can't And I Won't
I can't pretend
We finally reached our end
I won't pretend
I'm unable to call you a friend
I can't forget
All the good things you made me regret
I won't threat
Though my hate is a unpaid debt
I can't say goodbye
Somehow refuse to see past your lie
I won't try
Just leave you with a whimpering cry
I can't think of you
No longer love you too
I won't call you mine
It's finally our time.
431 · Mar 2014
Dissipated
You looked at me
Like you loved me
Like I was special
Held my hand tight
Made love to me
Hugged me
Told me how
Important
Those hugs were
How they made you
Feel good
You adventured
Somewhere new with me
You kissed my neck
And told me
That you loved me
You were here
With me,
Mine
Just yesterday
And today your gone
Leaving me
And it feels like my heart
Is bleeding
And as though its cut open
You were everything yesterday
And everything today
But I wasnt anything
Not today
Maybe not yesterday either.
431 · Apr 2013
My Forever
You look beautiful*

And you my darling look like my forever

In your brown eyes I see happiness

A marriage,a child or two,

I see age but the age of life will bring us wisdom

And together it brings us more love

You and I were not meant to be temporary

You and I were suppose to last

Now,Forever and the rest of Eternity.
430 · Apr 2011
Love...
Love is a risk all on it's own,trusting another person with everything you are,Hoping they are who they appear to be...
429 · Jan 2013
Bk Tales (10w)
Kissing me
Tenderly
I melt
With joy
Cascading
All around.
428 · Dec 2012
So Called Friendships
All my best friends
And most
Of my friends
Have faded away
They no longer
Entwine their
Life with mine
And suddenly
In this crowded room
I feel all alone.
428 · Jan 2016
Liar, Cheater, Heartbreaker
For every bit of love
I had given you

You have given me
Heartbreak

I was everything
I could ever be

And I was never enough
Body, mind, or soul.
427 · Feb 2014
Dust
There is golden dust
Which twinkle
In your sweet
Brown eyes.
426 · Jul 2012
Memories Collide
I miss you
I do not love you
It's all a game
That my body plays
At the slightest acknowledgement
Of your Existence
My heart fumbles
And my hands shake
But the past is the past
And I dislike remembering
Who I was
So I remind myself
Of another I loved
But then my heart
Is aching
And I start to miss
Him too
Only I start to
Remember
My heart
Is still his to hold.
426 · Dec 2015
Not my Valentine
Your I love you's
Are like the Valentine cards
I got that another classmates
Mother forced them to give

I am unwanted
Yet sent sweet
Soul caressing words.
426 · Feb 2013
Needy (10w)
I need you
I wanna cry
And I need you.
425 · Feb 2013
Haunted Halls
Knowing
Your sweet
And gentle
Heart
Has loved before
Will always
Ache
Always sever
A small part inside of me
But I can't change it
I can't say I hate you
Because I love you
And you know
I've done worse
Than just love
I've tried so hard
To erase the past
And not let
Curiosity
Eat away at me
But the algae of jealousy
And the atoms
Of our past
Come back to haunt us.
425 · Jun 2022
A Real Type of Love
Being loved totally and completely is such a strange feeling

It's such a revelation to have someone always willing to put you first

Someone who makes you love yourself.
I grew weary of heart break
Of being hidden
Being not quite enough

I was not asking you to choose
I was asking you to accept me

And after all these years

You still couldn't just love me

You just couldn't promise me you wouldn't break my heart again.
425 · Mar 2016
And His Name Is
She was the brown eyed dreamer

Always hoping for the best

So full of aspiration

Until one day a man knocked on her door

This man's name was depression

He clung to her like a second skin

Tearing away her hopes and dreams

Suddenly everything she wanted

Seemed impossible

He held her down

And she tried to fight him

But all she was left with

Was fake smiles

So no one else would see the monster cloaking her

Depression ran her fingertip across a blade

And she fought to put it away

She won't let him win again

Even if it feels like he is

He makes her heart break some days

And on others he lets her breathe

His cruelest trick is making her cry

When she almost feels happy.
424 · Dec 2012
Please Please Me. (10w)
I want
You to
Make love
To me
So
Badly.
424 · Apr 2011
I thought...
I thought you loved me...
I thought when you held me to your body everything would be alright...
I thought when you kissed me I was more than a friend...
I thought when we touched we shared a moment for just us to remember..
I thought when you left everything would feel that same...
I was wrong everything seemed to change....
The cuts got deeper...
The tears came more often...
And the broken heart could never be healed...
All because of your sweet lies....
All because one day I looked into your dark brown eyes....
423 · Sep 2011
Dream
I dream of bright days,
Where laughter is key,
and where the pain doesn't even bother to exist,
I Dream of glowing nights,
Radiated by the beauty of the moon,
Where only peaceful thoughts roam,
I dream of a magical place,
Where I can imagine endlessly,
having each one become reality,
I call this place Dreamland. ♥
423 · Feb 2011
I envy
I envy the beauty in others but I know inside,where there soul lies,Is not beauty but a monster staring straight at me
423 · Sep 2011
Blinded and Broken
I was Naive,
Foolish,
So easily tricked into believing anything,
I didn't see the heartbreak waiting for me in the end,
But there is was,
And now all I can do
Is try to put my life back together again
It feels impossible but I want it so badly,
Maybe one day someone can come along
And fix what others decided to break.
423 · May 2014
Limitless
Never limit yourself,
So many people do that
So let me just say
If you want to find
The one
Find them
And spend forever,
Yes my dears,
Spend forever in each others arms.
That's what I'm aiming for...Though I found him we just have to get there again... :-)
422 · Mar 2012
Love Burns A Fire.
A Look Can Ignite The Flame,
Embers become fires with only words,
This fire is losing control,
A hug,
A kiss,
A touch,
And three words,
And I might just start a forest fire,
The heat that radiates off me may be the end of us all,
In your presence the world will not have a cold day,
With you near I will never need warmth,
I will always need one thing,
You,
So you can warm the cold
And bring light to the darkness,
I Just Need You,
No Matter What The Flames May Do.
In the beginning
I believed in you
I thought you were kind
Caring and so secure
But to know now that you
Are just like the rest breaks me
You were so inspired by my eyes
And I was lit up by yours
Our laughter once was endless
Now our glares don't even last
You once warmed me heart with your smile
Now I feel as though your mocking me
You began so bright and good
But along the way
Darkness grew in you
And your indivuality
The thing I loved
It dissapeared
And you let the dark fill you
So this is over
The love I had is through
And I swear to only think bad thoughts
About this new you.
422 · Jan 2013
Outlook On Love
Love makes you do
Crazy things
****** up things
Love makes you lie
Love keeps you in fear
Love can break you
Chew you up and spit you out
Love can destroy lives
But love can also create them
Love can make you feel vulnerable
Which isn't always bad
Love makes you more honest
At least with yourself
Love keeps you safe
Love can heal your wounds
And help the scars fade
Love is something
Insane
Love is all a person needs
To get by.
421 · Dec 2016
Marks of Love
When you left me
For the last time
You took a picture of us
I wish I still had
I miss your face
That scar
That somehow
Made you perfect
I wonder if you have it still
I wonder if you look at it
And say how you miss my face
And my freckle
That you use to kiss
We were imperfect
And we fought to love each other
Because it wasn't easy
But we found it in those little things
We found it
Together.
Waking up and instantly you enter my thoughts,
I can't even think about the day ahead,
Your image flutters by,
Your stuck on my mind,
Waking up filled with memories,
Memories of the dreams I previously dreamed of,
You were there too,
God your everywhere,
They say this is love,
When you can't get someone outta your head
But what if the one you love said everything you ever shared was just pretend?
420 · Nov 2015
Another Letter (Dear You,)
I think I hate you
Or hate myself for loving you

How many breaths of betrayal
Did you inhale my dear

Let me **** them out
Let me ride the dark wave with you

I won't let you be alone
Won't let myself forget

Once upon a time
We were happy

We were more than roommates

We were lovers
Wild and free
Roaming the streets
Kissing at every corner

We were friends
Laughing at all our misadventures

We held each other when one
Was distraught

I craddled your body in my arms
And you craddled mine in yours

Our souls forever entwined
Forever my dear

But alas the mortal world
Has once again corrupted
What was once perfectly imperfect love

I cannot sleep without remembering
That you once laid beside me

I cannot breathe without feeling you
Your deep internal aching

That no amount of denying
Will convince me of

You were not perfect
Neither was I

But we loved
We loved

In a way no one else
Can ever make us forget.
420 · Oct 2012
Help In The Realms.
Forever
Can you please
Happen sooner.

Time
Can you move
Just a little faster.

Love
Can you last
A little longer.

Will-power
Please just get
A little stronger.

Emotions
Can you just
Make up your mind.
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