I put myself out there,
Only to be broken,
I'm treated like the nothing I've learned to be.

I Loved Once,
And even that faded away,
Any good must die,
Any smile must fade,
All laughter will slowly go,
And Once Again,
I will remain alone,
I will remain only slightly whole.

Leave me now
Or
Leave me never
For the aching will
Only grow
And agony
Only multiply

There is a pain in my chest and it won't let me breathe,
I try to break free but love has trapped me,
I'm hurting all over and it seems
no matter how hard I fight this will be forever,
My heart will always long for those I can't have,
my heart will always ache knowing I wasn't good enough.

Your wrong
Seeing your on and off again
Boyfriend once a week
Is nothing compared
To what it'll feel like for me
And it doesn't matter
That I've lived without him before
Those two years were the most
Excruciating years of my life
I cried myself to sleep endlessly
And I was drenched in my own blood
I was weak then
And my love was beyond the human capacity
So seeing him once in a while now
It won't be easy
But it's better than having a gaping hole
Where your heart once was
And I know you haven't been without
But I have
And let me say
Two months is so much better
Than two years
At least your heart won't be left
Wondering,hoping,dreaming
At least now
Each day will be a step closer until you meet again
At least this time
There will be a return.

Sometimes this corrupt world
Makes me feel silly
For loving words
While they gallivant off
Into the world
Doing whatever they do
I write my words
Heart aching with every word
For I am released
And they give me a wide eyed look
When I say I love reading
And that I can finish a book
In a matter of hours
But I don't care
Because to me
Words can be beautiful
Words can set you free
Whether your writing or read
Words are just wonderful.

Some people go looking for death,
Some wish death upon themselves,
For what I believe to be incoherent reasons,
I know what it is like in that dark place,
But The light shines through eventually,
You just need patience,
Death will come for you,
One day it will find you
When your hair is gray
and you've gone senile,
Death will find it's way to you one day,
Some way.
Until death creeps up to get you,
Live life,
Don't worry about the bad,
One day,
If you try hard enough,
It'll get better.

No fear my love
For you
Will always be
My one true love
You see
You were my first
And if you keep me close
Hopefully my last too.

What is it about you that makes me smile...
What is it about you that makes my heart skip a beat....
What is it about you that makes everything better...
I'll never know...But I do know I love you...
Even though you broke my heart....
Even though you made me cry....
Even though you left me....
Even though your not here...
Because somewhere inside me....There lies a piece of your heart that you gave me long ago...

With you in my life
My smile is so genuine
They never understand why
We go to and fro
And always end up
Together
But i try to explain
Because to me it's quite simple

You're my sun in the cold
And my wind when I'm hot
When I look at you
I think of the northern lights
And I can almost
See them dancing
In your eyes when you look at me
My heart is aflame
With passion
With words that my lips
Never fathom

You will always be my weakness
And my strength in life
And I hope we never part ways
I hope this love is as eternal
As it seems to me
I believe your it
Your the only one
I want to spend the
Rest of my life with

You will always be my sunshine
Even on the cloudiest days
You will aways be my king and I shall
Eternally be your queen
We are a love unlike any other

Nothing in the world
Can change the connection we have,
The way my heart still
Skips,jumps and tingles
Nothing will ever change
The fact that I love you.

I remember our life
The one that started
When you walked
Up to me and asked
Me to be a part of
Your life
And I eventually
Accepted
I think about all
The time I spent
Loving you
Being in your arms
All our laughs and smiles
Each breathtaking kiss
I then begin to wonder
About our future together
The wedding certificate
Sharing a bed
A home
My life entwining with yours
And our child
A beautiful sign of
Our undying love
This little baby
That is made of part you and part me
Raising this child with you
Growing old together
And dying so happily
And still so in love.

I thought about you today,

About us,

The kisses shared,

The hand held,

The friend I had,

Today I thought about you,

About you and her,

The kisses shared,

The hugs,

The friendship,

Today I thought about you,

About what changed,

About how I messed up,

Today I thought about
             me
             and
             you
             and
             her,

And how lucky she is,

And how sorry I am.

Even on my worst days
I don't regret you
Or us
Because I know
If I still had a chance
To change how things happened
I would
Just so I could try one more time
To be with you.

I'm too happy with you
To bleed
To ruin it all
For a blade
I miss the sting
Miss the relief desperatly
And though it's been months
I fight it each day
But I'm too happy
Too in love to bleed.

Within An Instance I Was No Longer Me,
I Was One With Him.
Two forms became one,
Our lips met and suddenly the world began to slow,
The clock seemed to stop dead,
The only thing that existed was he and I,
And We Had Become One.
The feeling of his lips on mine sent chills everywhere,
I swore in that moment nothing could get any better,
I knew nothing could surpass the wonderful taste of he and I passionately kissing in the rain,
I had craved the moment so long,
And then when hope was nearly lost,Miracles occurred,
He was mine,
And I was his,
Nothing else in the world mattered,
Everyone else ceased to exist as long as I was with him,
In His Arms The Only Thing That Mattered Was Him,
And How Much I Loved Him.

The worst story ever told
Is the story of your first love,
And how he ended up with your best friend.

Does it matter who we love?
Does it matter who we think of?
We should be free to choose,
To love and learn to lose,
Equal rights for all,
Our group isn't so small,
We are just like you,
Our love can be true too,
We will not change,
Don't cut our lives back a page,
We are people,
Let us marry on the same steeple.
We won't give up our fight,
Not until the law says our love is right.

I can no longer withstand this pain.How could you say my heart was plain?Still you've slain it.You must admit,I was your game.Now All I feel is pain and your the one I blame.My heart will never be the same.Do you even know what I became?Slightly more insane.what is this strain?Don't you understand this is my only demand...Love me...Is that hope I see?

Death I savored the thought,
It would pass my mind constantly,
Death had consumed my life,
I wished for it,
I wanted to die as I slept,
But I knew this was a wish not likely to become reality,
So I contemplated how I would die,
At my age
It would have to be forced,
So my mind wandered
Eventually I came across the simplest answer,
Pills,
Wouldn't that be painless?
Death was my savior,
I thought it would bring me peace,
But what if it brought me more hell than Life did?
So I sat there,
On my bed,
The bottle in my hand,
Crying,
Knowing I'd have to stick this life out,
Just wishing there was something to make it easier,
To make it fade,
And it was that day,
I picked up my first blade

She was at the ledge,
Ready to fall,
So near the edge,
She can't handle it all,
Her eyes fill,
She begins to bawl,
She wants her life to end,
She tried to be happy,
But she couldn't stand playing pretend,
Her heart was smashed,
Torn to pieces,
She was so obviously trashed,
Friends abandoned the weak,
She was invisible,
Her future seemed bleak,
Still She hides the pain,
No matter the hurt,
No matter how her heart was slain,
She masks her life,
Wishing,
Wanting just the knife,
Just one more time,
It gave off adrenaline,
It made her feel sublime,
She gave up hope
And decided there was only one way to cope,
Just to die,
And and not let another see her cry,
Just so they wouldn't see her weak,
So they couldn't see that little streak,
That light,
The one that flew away that night,
The night she died,
The last night she cried.

Your eyes told so many stories,
Your eyes spoke so many words,
Yet your lips never moved an inch,
That's how in synch we were,
Your eyes once said give this a chance,just friends and just hope,
Your eyes once made me laugh and smile,
Your eyes once whispered It was never her I wanted,
Your eyes once trembled please stop this madness I care for you,
Your eyes once seduced me into your arms,
Your eyes once told me you loved me,
Your eyes once made me realize,realize that life without those eyes would be no life at all...

I'm sick of this
Sick of not being good enough
Sick of being changed
Sick of you telling me to change
To pretend
Sick of arguing
Sick of fighting
Of the tears
Sick and tired
Of being knocked down
I'm not who you want me to be
And if I'm not
Good enough for you as I am
Then maybe you should go
And if you don't
Maybe I'll have to.

As children we watch the world changing,
We see all the things the elders are exchanging,
But as a child we watch so many leave,
We loose our faith and our ability to believe,
We search for one pair of hands that won't let go,
The faith is lost and we hit our low,
We search for someone to just stay,
Someone to love us and not walk away,
The bright creatures we are turn to sorrow,
We can barely hope for a better tomorrow,
Sick of being hurt,
Sick of being treated like dirt,
We try to break free,
Try to have our own special personality,
We try to grow up fast,
And just forget our lonely past.

You were my new disaster and in the end it led to my broken laughter.I tried to fix the pain But I had already gone insane

All that stands between us is only a street,
Only words left unspoken,
All that stands between you and I,
Are the experiences we have yet to enjoy together,
All that stands between us,Is our denial,
The denial that all true feelings we've shared have come and past,
Because every time I look into those eyes I still see a part of my heart,
I think it's taking refuge there because until we admit how we feel,
How we've always felt,I think that part of me feels safer with you,
With what it wants most,
You,
You and your heart.

Your so well trained
At seeing me
Accepting me
It's been years
And though
Your shame was once
Obvious it has now vanished
And the only shame I feel
Is from myself
Each time I look in the mirror
And how it breaks the happiness
That you've molded
I will never change
And I fear
I shall never accept who I am
But I survive now
Knowing you do.

Love is a risk all on it's own,trusting another person with everything you are,Hoping they are who they appear to be...

Words that scorch
That yell at me
**Forget your love
Erase the love making
Destroy the desire
That built up
Forget what today
Would've been
Forget the love
That grew and
Tear it down
Like the world
You loved once upon a time
Erase the wound like
It was a just papercut
Instead of a sword
And arrow slicing
Through my chest
Forget all my pain
Like I can flick it away
Just forget the love story
And start over
As if

I remember how lonely
This time of the year was
Without him
And now that he's here
And mine
I hope that you feel
The comfort I do
I hope you find someone
To hold and keep you grounded
And safe
I know this time of the year
And it can be tough all alone.

Once again I believed
I had found love
Because I loved so strongly
I believed it could be enough
For the two of us
But as strong as my love may be
It cannot make them stay
They are destined to leave
They all are.

I can't pretend
We finally reached our end
I won't pretend
I'm unable to call you a friend
I can't forget
All the good things you made me regret
I won't threat
Though my hate is a unpaid debt
I can't say goodbye
Somehow refuse to see past your lie
I won't try
Just leave you with a whimpering cry
I can't think of you
No longer love you too
I won't call you mine
It's finally our time.

I think our love is special
Because we never give up
Not ever
And because for us
There is no limit
We believe in each other
In the same way we believe in our love
With all of our hearts
And I think we have every right
To think that our love is special
Because every love story is
And when that love story
Can outrun the sands of time
We will still remain
Strong and unswayed
For our love is undying and true
We are fighters
And we fight for what we love
We fight for each other
So that we're never alone.

I whispered
Everything would be alright
You shrugged your shoulders

I tried to tell you calm down
It's okay this will pass
You looked right past me
Your eyes glazed with your
Rage and frustration

I tried to distract you
Make you smile
Make you laugh
Send relief into your soul
And you frowned
And apologized

You went searching
Because I wasn't there
I had vanished
And you needed me
I left
As I was helping you
I was losing another bit of strength
I sacrificed for you
And you hardly noticed
So I left
I left
Breaking myself
So that I could try to save us both.

An explosion
A on edge way of surviving
Each day battling
Each day waiting for defeat
Abandoned by hope
Knowing evil rests here
A nice smile
Tightening innards
Survival no longer seems vital
Giving in is so simple
The urges grow
A split of a vein
It will set me free
Agony will longer reside in me
I will no longer be a abandoned memory
I will be the forgotten pain
I am not strong
Words will not change that I am weak
Time has not changed it either
I am a ticking time bomb
And I must EXPLODE

It felt like I gave you everything...
I gave you my heart to love with,
I gave you my smiles and laughter,
I gave you my arms so we could hug,
I gave you my lips so we could kiss,
But I never got the thing I wanted most,
YOUR HEART...

My body
Bloated with passion
Is not easy without you
For I writhe
Back arched
Soft frustration
Uttered from my lips
Hand desperate to touch
To feel
Roam
But it's nothing
Compared to
How every
Kiss
Every caress feels with you.