To tell your life story is like giving yourself away,
But truly you are just trying to be set free,
Your trying to have a handle on reality,
Life cascades around you,
Facts you wish were only dreams remain true,
Life is breaking you down,
Your swallowed whole by your own frown,
I reach for your hand but you let go,
And I watch as you hit your all time low,
Saving you is something I'm no longer capable of,
You refuse me and my love,
It's okay I'll stick around and listen,
I watch you tell your story and smile as your face has a certain glisten,
And I'll hope telling me the pain will make it okay,
I promise to stay,
I promise to hear each word,
I promise your story won't go unheard,
You'll soon be free,
I'll be happy to share some of my glee.

You encourage me
Make me smile
Cause tears to fade
Warm my heart
With perfect hugs
You mean so much to me
I fear each day
Because we near the end
We get closer to the day
Where you'll be gone
And then there will be
Another missing part of me.

You left me
You stopped fighting
You don't get to judge me
You don't get to call me names
You lied and cheated
You broke my heart
You guilted me
You broke down every bit of me
You destroyed who I am
You abandoned me
You cannot expect me to be the woman
You wanted me to be when
You could not be the man
You claimed to be
You hypocrite
You are so bad for me
You still have a a hold on me
You will still be loved because unlike
You I keep my promises despite
You and despite what I do now
You will be loved
You were my first
You were suppose to be my last
You are now a ghost of us
You killed the future we saw
You killed the future I saw
You ripped them from my arms
You named them
You will never know them I won't either
You will never know my kiss again
You live in your dark shell
You will never leave it
You blamed me for the evil
You brought more of it with your anger
You brought more of it because
You could not forgive or trust
You

Why did I have to love such a beautiful monster?

So Many Moments Spent With Tears Rolling Down My Face.
Time stops and I'm alone,
Knowing I'm nothing,
Knowing I want to be his everything,
I can't help my hopes,
I can't help my dreams,
All I know is what I want to be,
I want to be his,
I want to be loved,
I want to be in his arms,
I want forever to be his everything,
To just be his girl,
But I'm not his,
Not anymore,
I'm not pretty enough,
Funny enough
Or worth his time,
He hates me now,
All I did was curse,
I had no choice he hurt me,
He told the world,
He told the world he never loved me.

Today I discovered the truth,
I learned that every word was a lie,
Every moment I spent with you was wasted,
Your telling them You never loved me,
Then why did you tell me that so many times,
You tell them we were never together,
But they know we were,
You tell them our kisses and our hugs meant nothing,
Then why did you write me,
Saying you still remembered the way I kiss,
And my beautiful face,
Why did you tell me you still cared,
When it's obvious now,
You don't,
And maybe you never did.

I close my eyes,
and scars reimerge,
wounds so fresh,
I want them to be real,
I want to feel the pain,
feel the marks in my body,
the scab trying to heal what I destroyed,
I want to feel the cold bade slice me open,
to feel all my emotions break out,
slightly free,
the more I slice,
the less I feel,
the less I hurt.

There was a time when silence was ruler,
when hearts dictated everything,
this day I declare hearts weak,
they put on a facade,
in reality they are nothing,
they can be broken hurt and can't always heal,
hearts were once powerful,
but they were foolish and allowed love entrance,
love decided to work against them,
slowly love broke them each apart,
now hearts are weaklings and love is key,
love cannot die,
it is strong even when not returned,
love will live,
even when hearts break.

I love that your
So polite and
Old fashioned
Always asking
Before you
Touch
From the start
Having respect
For my body
And even when
Its obvious I want you
You ask
The first time comicality
Surrounded by the beginning
Of true passion
Can I touch those?
As though
They were mutants
But that's how the
First touch goes
I love it when you ask
Because each time you do
I know I was suppose to be with you.

Two years ago you and I shared our first kiss,
We were young,
we were shy and even fumbled a bit,
Laughter burned the air
followed by the aroma of flowers,
Though none existed I smelled them,
Not even your kiss could block out the smell,
but maybe it was you that smelled to good,
It could be why I never wanted the kiss to end,
I had loved you a long time then and even longer now,
Your kiss trapped,
It grabbed me and I grabbed back,
I never wanted to let go,
The rain slowed into a drizzle but I did not care,
I was too focused on those lips that for moments entertained mine,
I had never before that day experinced a feeling so sincere,
The love could be read in the way you kissed,
You cannot say otherwise because that day when we kissed sparks didn't just fly they SOARED.

I love waking up in your arms
I love being close to you
Looking into your dazed eyes
My heart swells with joy
Knowing your mine
I love you
And I await
The days
Where I can
Awake to you
*EVERY DAY.

If we are all labeled for the things we do
or the things we let happen
you would be the devil
A heart-breaker
You would be the humidity that people hate
The hail pelting you down
you would be the meteor people wish on
and get let down by
You would be a facade of all the good things
And then reveal yourself  for the monster you truly are.

Tease me
Because that's
How I've
Imagined
Making love
Would be,
A long
Frustratingly
Pleasurable
Tease
Leading
To
Something
Just a little
More Amazing.

She Loved Him,
Loved him with everything she was,
They were only friends at the time but they had once been more,
They never shared a kiss or hug,
Still just his essence was good enough for her,
He left,
She never knew how he felt,
Never knew if he even cared about her,
She lost the one thing in her life that mattered,
She had no one else,
Nothing else,
The days passed so slowly after he left,
She would sit on her couch and stare out into the sky,
Dreaming of him,
And wiping away her tears,
For 3 months she cried,
Almost daily,
The nights she cried herself to sleep were the worst,
Then one night,
When the house was silent,
And all you could hear were her cries,
She found her first blade,
And made three cuts on her shoulder,
And for the first time in 3 months,
She didn't want to cry.

I saw you
Everything clashed
My glass walls
Shattered
And instantly
All our memories
Came back
I couldn't ignore
The knot in me
The monster wanting freedom
I felt myself holding in
The scream
I could feel my heart twisting
Turning in agony
Because in those eyes
I saw all I had
All I lost
And all that brought me
To destruction.

The moment she walked away,
Her smile turned to a frown,
She had to go no matter how her heart wanted to stay,
He hurt her,
Left her broken,
She'll always remember what they were,
Darkness fills her mind,
She wants to feel nothing,
She can't believe she thought he was kind,
She was blind,
Love broke her,
Made her weak,
Now she believes her future is plain and bleak,
She loved a heart breaker,
She loved who he was,
"This Is what love does"
"Love cuts deep",
So much you have no choice but to break out and weep,
She tried her best
But I guess he just wasn't impressed.

I think
I've finally
Found the guy
I wanna spend
Forever with
I finally
Found this
Amazing guy
Who isn't
Ashamed
That I'm his
And that he's mine.

I use to think you were Jack
And that I was Sally
But I realized that
I was Jack,
Trying to figure out
Who I was,
Sick of the same thing
And that could fall apart
At any given moment
And you were Sally
Always falling apart
Being trapped
Trying to break free.

It's when
Your away
That I know
Without a doubt
That my love
For you is so true
For when your
Body is away
The memories
The dreams
The thoughts of you
Overflow my mind
And I smile
Knowing your the one
I will spend forever with.

Your the only guy I've ever told the truth to,
The only guy where I put myself out there,
I love you,
And your the only one that I would take risks for,
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
You may never want me,
But I'm here,
You can hold me close or keep me far
But love is love and I love you,
I don't usually ask for a kiss,
But I did,
I blame it on the warmth radiating from your skin,
I blame it on your lips,eyes,dimples and your heart,
I fell for it all,
And I'll keep taking these risks
Because your worth any consequences,
The truth though is it hurts loving you,
Loving you was a risk and the pain was the consequence,
It's too late now and I'm not letting go,
I don't have much of a choice,
Just know I love you,
Always.

I woke from my nap
And I stretched back
And made a weird noise
And I thought
If you were here
You'd find it adorable
While every other man
Would probably
Be taken aback
And look at me
With digust or
Unappealment.

I thought about you
And how you made me feel
So special.

Passion
Takes
Control of
The
Addict
That
A part of
Me is
And
It makes me
Make you
And I know now
Your stronger
Than I ever could be
I wonder if
It matters to you
Wonder
If you felt the jolt
Of fire
Run through your body
In the most breathtakingly
Amazing way.

No
I don't
Believe
Often
A doubt
Rises up
In my
Torn soul
And I push
And push
Because
I want to
Believe
But how
Can the Man
Of my dreams
Actually love me.

When we're in a room
even at a distance
I feel you

When I close my eyes
I hear your laughter
your perfect voice blessing the air

When I block out the noise
I see your smile
the dimples almost clear to see
Your long lashes
The lush lips that I want
your apperance that warms me

When I open my heart
I feel yours
the heart that hurt me
only when I hurt it
the heart I want
it's beating that soothes me
and takes away every bit of pain

When we're in the same room
I know I love you
and every other part of you

Sometimes
I find
Myself wishing
I could be everything
That you want
Everything you deserve
Everything your looking for
I wish and wish
But I'm still just
Me.

I remember when I asked God the questions of life
And I was praying every night for you
I remember how the thoughts never stopped
And how it ached to be away
Then I remember when it started to fade
Because my heart had been soothed
By your proximity
By the site of just you
And suddenly I fought my love
After waiting so long
Because my mind was free
The questions no longer flooded my mind
They only went on in the background like soft static
I remember meeting for a kiss
One I remembered being perfect
One I knew could never compare to another's
And I remember how one surprise kiss
Led to this
Led to us and here and now
Everything is perfect
There is no more static in my head
No questions about this mysterious life
And I know its because of you
Because we are soul mates
And together we're better
Than we ever could be apart.

Never had a daddy
To run to
When some boy
Broke my heart
Never had a father
To walk me down the aisle
Or to spoil me rotten
Never had a dad
To give a card to
On Fathers Day
Never had a dad to
Talk to
Or trust
Nevr had
A father
Who cared.

You were,
Were the one to make me smile,
To make me laugh,
To hug me through the bad days,
And make sure I was okay,
You made me stronger,
I fell in love with you,
With the friendship and support you gave me,
It's because of you I know what love feels like,
I know how it feels to be kissed in the rain,
I loved you then and I love you now,
***** it if the world thinks We're crazy,
because ******* it,
If we're not meant to be than we were suppose to die alone,
Because I know without a doubt your the one for me!
The one I wanna wake up to every morning
and fall asleep next to every night,
Your the only person I wanna kiss,
The only person that can hug me and make the tears become smiles,
I don't want you in my life,no I don't,Because I NEED you in my life
Please I went insane without you,
And every time I had you my sanity returned,
I can't take life without you,
And I will never give up hope on "us"
Because I love you,
Then,Now And Always.

I know it'll be
Hard at first
But nothing
Starts off easy
That's why the damsel
In distress
Is first in a bad place
Before her knight
Rescues her
And that's
Why every
Fairy tale princess
Starts off
With an issue
So they can meet
Their Prince
And get a happy ending
Despite their bad beginning
I know it won't be easy
Nothing worth while ever is
But In the end
We will be okay
In fact we'll be
Happy.

I'm just some girl,
A girl that might pass by and not even cross your mind,
I'm just some girl,
A girl that might not be perfect but wishes she was,
I'm just some girl,
You may never know me but my whole life something has been missing,
I use to think it was happiness,
But I have it for now,
But what I want more than anything,
What I've always wanted,
Is just love,
To love and be loved.

Every part of me is cracking

And I just don't have enough cement to cover up the holes

I can feel myself breaking more each day and there is nothing that can mend me

Only memories that damage me more.

I felt something
we slid into place
I know it wasn't
Fantasy
We were two souls
Who found peace
But the harsh world
It ruined you
Made you afraid
Of what they thought
But it never mattered
You had me
And my love
I quickly realized
It didn't matter
How much I loved you
You cared more
About what they thought
Than what I did.

I call others
All the names I use to call you
So it wouldn't itch at the tip of my tongue

But now when I call someone else
Sweetie pie
I think of you

I wish you were at the receiving end

You hated when I called you that and yet

Some days,

You called me it right back

And I knew it would be okay,

That we would be okay another day,

When did I stop being yours?

Prove you love me
Without words
Convince me
That you wanna spend
Forever with me
With a kiss
Or a smile
Or a look
If o am yours
Prove it
Not just to me
But to everyone
Who ever doubted
What we could be

I have been called beautiful
By a couple of people
But they just make me laugh
Because they don't know me
Because their not you
Whose seen my stretch marks
And seen the scars
Who knows all my secrets
They dont know
Who I am
Because its only when I'm with you
That the real me comes to life
So they don't see something beautiful
They see unkown territory that
They attempt to uncover
But never will
Because their not you
So when they say I'm beautiful
I simply laugh
But when you say it
I'm silent
Because I take each syllable in
Analyzing that beautiful has
As many syllables as my first name
And that your looking at me
With that spark of raw passion
With the intensity of what you conceive
The truth to be
So maybe I'm beautiful
But only to you.

I've been searhing
my whole life,
Waiting for someone,
A prince perhaps,
I just want
Love,
Maybe it got lost,
Maybe I let it
Slip through my fingers,
But the hunt continues
Day by day,
Month by month,
Year after year,
I am the nothing,
The failure
In both love
And in Life,
My life has been
A unfufilled journey,
Since 3 searching,
Since 3 never finding,
Alone on non-stop
Journey through time,
I'm riding along,
But who knows
For how long.

Your right
I haven't changed
A old part of me will
Always remain
Because we can't change
All at once
But all that remains
Is a bit of sorrow
And it now washes over me
As I notice how badly I believe
You need to change
I can't handle life
Not with you around
I need an escape
With this invasion
It's as though I'm grasping for air
And the atmosphere has none left for me to breathe
I am not the girl who fell each time her heart broke
I survive even if it's just barely
I haven't changed in the sense
That even when I say I give up
I never actually do
I'm the same in the sense that
I love him like I always have
And I will always be prepared to fight for him  in my life
I'm different not unchanged
Not someone else completely
Just different.

You Walk By Me,
I try to get you to say a simple hello
but you ignore me,
but every once in a while I see you smile,
I see a smile spread wide across your face as I tug on your sweater,
Or as I poke you,
The ignorance has become your game,
you give me hope only to only turn away,
your spiteful,
and your stubborn,
But I must admit your kind of cute,
the dimples make it hard to look away and I often find myself staring,
I know your being mean and being tender-headed
but there's this part of me that loves it,
I guess I like a ****,
but only because that **** was once my friend.