I was looking for someone to love,
My heart gave me the shove,
I was looking for someone sweet,
Who would make my heart erratically beat,
I was looking for someone that would make me smile,
Someone who would walk with me for miles,
I was looking for someone who gives my heart a little tug,
Someone I could always hug,
I was looking for someone who wouldn't give in,
Even when time grew thin,
I was looking for someone who'd kiss me in the rain,
And promise to never cause me pain,
I was looking for someone who thought my heart was anything but plain,
Someone who wouldn't leave my heart slain,
I was looking for someone who could bring me joy,
Not someone with an evil ploy,
I was looking for someone to complete me,
Someone that wouldn't mistreat me,
Someone that would only be sweet to me,
I was looking for someone to be happy with,
This person can't be completely myth.

(I found all this in you,
The second my heart flew,
I knew it was you,
there was some kind of spell no one could undo,
It's true,I love you.)

Words
Of regret
And apologies
Can't fill the cracks
Won't heal the wounds
I'm not capable of being fixed
There is more than you see
The pain seeps to deep
And the memories
Only burn deeper scars
Problems mounted problems
Conflicts go unsolved
The walls I've built
Out of cement and bricks
Are in ruins
The strength I had
Is depleting
And all the hope I had
For healing
Slowly Fades Away.

For her it was agony,
For him it was sweet and blissful,
He lied so well,
She never assumed him as and evil master-mine,
But oh,
He planned,
He played her so well,
He knew she always loved him,
And he made sure he kept her on a leash,
He would lie,
Tell her he loved her,
Tell her she was his world,
And soon enough it was her world that came crumbling down,
He began to deny her,
Deny he ever loved her,
Deny what they were,
He said their first kiss meant nothing,
He said anything they ever had was nothing,
He ignored her and their memories,
And in the process,
Destroyed the one girl who loved him,
the one girl that actually gave a ****.

I wonder all the time
If you think of me
If small things remind you of me
I wonder if you run your own hands
Through your hair
I wonder if you've found love again
If you're out there and you think of me
Please know sweetie pie
I miss you everyday
We can never go back
But I hope one day we can move forward
I know I can't find love
Not when my heart always wears your name
But I hope you do
Maybe she'll be innocent
Maybe she'll be a good cook
Maybe she'll have all your love
She would be the luckiest woman ever
I was once a lucky woman
But that was in another life now it seems.

I feel

Horrible

And I wish
You were here
To hold me.

I never Imagined...Someone loving me besides him...
I never imagined...I'd love anyone besides him...
I never imagined....I could be happy with any other guy...
I never imagined how much my heart would fight.
I never imagined... my heart wanting another guy while loving him...
I never imagined... blushing as this new person explains he loves me...
I never imagined...Letting him go...But maybe it's a sign that it's time...

I am just a girl,
Not average,
But definitely not above average,
I've made up my own category,
They Label me,
I hate it,
They don't know me,
They just know what they see,
And I know it's not the prettiest view in the world,
But why do they have to put in their say,
I'm sick of it,
But I know them,
And their cruel words,
They Will never die,
There will always be someone,
Who has to judge someone they don't know,
Someone like me.

Home for me

Has become

That place

On your chest

Where I sometimes

Rest my head

Home has become

You

The arms that hold me

The lips that melt into mine

The hand that holds onto my hand

The heart that has finally made

Love worth the fight

You my love

Have become home.

Just your name
Emitting from my lips
Made me taste
Venom upon my
Long untouched lips.

You can only try
Not to get hurt
By the shattered pieces
Try to pick up them up
Put it together
So close to whole
And then it all shatters again
The dark invades
And you seem so
Endlessly alone
Your fingers
****** and scratched
Probably gonna scar
This will be
A constant reminder
Of a broken part of you
You'll start all over
Try to forget this loneliness
But deep down
You know
A part of you will always be
Broken.

This feels so wrong,
But I cannot control it,
I need new experiences perhaps,
This dream,
I have it every couple of weeks,
It use to be the faces of teen girls I did not know,
But now it is my friends,
I dream of kissing them,
and it seems the longer I put off this urge,
The more passionate the dreams get,
I can't get the images of kissing another girl off my mind,
The thought won't fade,
Maybe I'm just lonely,
But this urge has haunted me
even when life is busy,
Maybe this is real,
Maybe I'm not just into Men,
Maybe I'm into Women too.

How can this be
Your the boy who saved me
Yet now you lie
Say your rejection
Made me cry
But I never even made an offer
Never asked you to be mine
I just fell in love
Only hoped for
Friendship
Even when it
Never came
Yet you spread
*******
Like I'm nothing
You once took
Away tears
And brought me joy
Now your just
A silly boy
To high to
Function
To cruel
To be loved
even
By me.


Sorry.

I realized today
That you
Are unlike
Any other
Because
You
Are the only one
That can make me
Happy
In each and every way
You see you've always
Been my everything
And I waited patiently
To be yours
And I hope you know
Your the only
One
That will
Ever
Make me feel
Like living.

I broke your
Heart today
Smashed it
Hard onto
The cement
And watched
As it broke
Into pieces
My relief
Was grand
And that was it
That was goodbye.

For good this time.

Today I
Craved the
Feeling
Of both your
Stubble and your
Tongue
Running down my neck
Because
I love the way
It gives me chills.

I Need Escape
This place has me trapped
Hate evolved
It's beyond containment
These walls are collapsing
And all evil is being set free
I'm itching
To run away
Get out
Never come back
These minor inconviences
Have become unlivable circumstances
I Will Find A Way Out
I Will Escape This Hell.

Sometimes
The darkness invades
And the blade
Calls my name
And I
Am so
Tempted
To answer.

I walked away,
A smile spread wide across my face,
Still I was unaware,
That,that day would be the last day I saw your face,
When my heart finally allowed the truth in,
It broke in an instance,
because back then I was loosing the one thing that mattered,
The one thing that I finally had,
I lost,
Again,
My heart drowned itself in tears,
Until it went numb,
It took so long to feel again,
and when I did,
There you were,
Waiting,
To wound me once more.

It is the dreams that wake me in the middle of the night.
Then I begin to cry and perhaps you wonder why.
It is due to my dream.
He was there as he always is.
But sometimes What I believe is a dream really turns out to be a nightmare in disguise.
For a while it's like memories being relived in my dreams and I love it.
The memories of how we fell in love,How we laughed,how we hugged,how kissed,
But then I realized if I were to relive the memories in my dreams then he'd be leaving right after he kissed me.
I dreaded ending the kiss.
But it ended  and I woke up alone and I realized I couldn't even live in my Dream world without him.Maybe That is why I awoke.
In tears because I was alone and he was nowhere near me...

I lie my head
Atop your words
And fall into a sweet sleep
For your words find their way
Into my soul
They barrel their way into my mind
And play over and over
Filling me with sweetness
Your words lull me to sleep
As they bring joy to my dreams.

As they bring you to my dreams.

To simply
                 F
                   A
                      L
                         L

Asleep

In your arms

Could make

My

Life



Worth

L i v i n g.

Even after all this time
When I feel broken and alone
I tell myself I need you


You started my brokenness
I don't need you

Or maybe I always will.

Our love is  like the titanic
We built it up
Watched as it grew
To a huge size
And then
We watched
As it broke
And crumbled
And all its innards
Came out
In what is a miserable massacre

My heart is tangled in you
I think I have fallen
I fought it so hard
But it just sinks in
And I hate it

You will never love me
You will never wake up beside me

I will never feel your lips on mine

I am a hallow shell

Waiting for someone to fill me

Fill me with love
I beg of you.

I made mistakes
But you must've too
I know you love me
But my love is so much more
It's the truest of trues
We've made such a history
And we can't forget
We can't let it all go
This is our final try
And we're giving it our all
I want it all to be okay
I want you
For as long as you'll have me
Let's make new memories
And wash away every painful one
Let's be
Just You
And Just Me.

They whisper with stares
I answer with my tears
My heart is racing
Hands trembling
I am the fool in the crowd
Yet I'm part of the out crowd only
I'm the ghost girl wisping by
The nobody you see
So messed up
The complete opposite of right
Perhaps the devils daughter
Could aphrodite and hades mate?
They seem to have made me
A darkness so full and complete
A never ending love filled to the brim
She is some new creature
I am
A mistake by the gods
The Queen
The Goddess of Heart break.

I've been waiting,
Waiting for you to walk back into my life,
Even when your so close,
I have yet to see you,
I have yet to see the eyes that I adored,
I continue my waiting until I have you,
Until your staring me in the eyes again,
My waiting will go on forever,
It breaks my heart knowing how we've changed,
But a part of us will always be the same,
I will wait until the end of this life if I must,
And if I cannot see you in life I will meet you in the next one,
I will find you,
And If I cannot then I will keep waiting.

They say
Don't look back
Forget the past
But it's so deep
Haunting memories
Of wounds
That won't heal
Tears that
We're always shed
Times of weakness
When you should've
Spoken up but
Stayed silent
Telling the world
Of my misery with
A mocking demeanor
For I fear weakness
But with every word
I smile
Act as though I'm proud
I hate it
I'm broken
But I won't let anyone fix it
I'm too untrusting
I've been hurt too much
I will not let it happen
Not Again.

You and your **** smirk
Your aloofness
I was in search of a friend
And came across you
An evil
Fake, lying entity
Your eyes
Your look is that of
Satan's spawn
Your too complex
Your not bright
Your not kind
Your heart is colder than the artic
I want you to go
Leave for good
Don't come here now
You've already thrown yourself away
Now leave
No one cares
You wouldn't let them
So now your all alone
And I hate you
For fooling me
I hate that I once thought you were better
Than the absolute monster that you are.

There we were,
Standing outside,
While raindrops drizzled all around us,
You asked if I wanted to kiss,
And before I knew it,
Your lips were pressed against mine,
Instant Intoxication,
The taste of your mouth on mine,
It had settled months worth of my desires.

I wish you saw what I saw.
The lies in your eyes,
They never went away day after day they would stay,
Now I must say good-bye with a sigh,to all of your lies...