I think of you
Your smiling face
And the feelings
That inhabited me
In your presence
It was as though
You re-lit a candle in me
That burned out years before
It warmed me
And lit me up
I never wanted it to end
But when I thought it did
I realized it was a trick candle
And thoughts of you
Kept it lit
My fire won't burn out
Because no matter how hard you blow
The fire remains.

If only words came easy when I'm sitting beside you.
Then maybe I'd be less blue.
Let's review our past.
Come on let's guess how long we'll last.
Maybe not forever,
But whenever that day comes I'll know we've come to an end.
So don't bother to pretend.
So now if I begin to tear know it's because I start to fear,
I fear that,that day is near.
Because to me it's so clear.
We are just a mere part of each others history,the rest of our life is still a mystery.
Yet to be discovered,One day it'll all be uncovered.
But Until then Know That I love you now,
No matter what you allow.
Through and through I'll always remember you.
You saved me from my haunted past,
I never even asked you to,But that's simply what you do.
You rescued me from the dark abyss and gave me an amazing kiss.
One that I'm sure to miss and that will make me reminisce.
But all bliss must die.
And if I begin to cry don't bother to lie,It's a pointless try.
Leave me be if you never wish to see me.
Just look at the pain I foresee,how can it be?
You seem so right for me,But I know I'll eventually have to let you go...

She covered herself
In white silk
It irritated her skin
But made her beautiful

Someone had to see
Everyone has to see
She danced in the wind
Silk flowing all around

She smiled and laughed
The people watched
Like she was a show
Little did they know
The silk that made her
So **** beautiful
Was slowly killing her.

I'm so scared,scared I truly love you.
I never fought so hard for someone.
I want you forever and always.
I'm scared of being hurt.
The last time I fell in love he destroyed me.
This is different though I just want you.
You healed what everyone else broke.
I didn't realize it but you fixed my broken heart.
I never even asked you just got up and put the piece back together again.

How can you be the boy I fell for?
You've grown angrier,
You've grown grizzly and cruel,
Your heart seems to be buried deep,
Your smile has become non-exsistent,
Your laughter has become complete silence,
You don't even glance my way,
Sorrow fills me when I go over how you've changed,
You were once a kind,caring and gentle boy,
Once you were heartfelt and your smile was worn playfully and proudly,
Your laughter once filled the air to no end,
You once stared for minutes at a time,
It's hard to believe it's still you,
But still I can tell by the gleam in your eyes,
Your dark brown hair similar to my own,
Your lips silently waiting,
I can tell it's still you,
But only because my heart still cares enough to realize it,
No matter how you change
Old feelings may always stay the same.

Millions of words
Cannot express it
My words
The sweet
And passionate ones
They are nothing
Compared
To the feeling
In my chest
When you tell me
You love me
Nothing
Can ever truly
Express my happiness
With you
Oh my love
Each time you
And I talk
About our life
Together
I know we
Really were made
For each other.

I just
WISH
For once
Things could
Solve themselves
But life isn't that easy
No matter how we wish.

You gave me this infection,this heart breaking recollection,you were my only selection...

Just hold me tight and pretend everything will be alright...


Tell me your sweet lies just promise me no more good-byes...

I tried but I just cried and it felt as if my heart died...

My heart once felt like gold now it's cold...

I cried when my heart died and I no longer tried...

I scream and shout and you continue to doubt....

I want to cry,I can't try so I think I'll die...

I think
Last night
I dreamed
Of the dark
Corner of my mind
No light was there
And I snuck in
With some unknown
And never before seen
Imaginary guy
And after paying off
The random thugs
With a crumpled five
He and I reversed into a corner
Knowing the things that'll go on
Knowing **** well
What a man and woman do together
In a dark abandoned space
And just before I woke
Just before I witnessed their sin
I hear the maniacal laughter
Of the evil part of me
Invading even my dreams.

I guess I should continue with my lies,
I've been lying to you so long,
but this time I know the truth,
I tell you I stopped loving you,
LIE,
I tell you I'm fine,
LIE,
Can't you see it,
Look into my eyes,
Don't you see my make-up smeared from my cries,
Can't you see all my lies,

Though I am not
And despite the fact
That I may never be
My heart swells
With such joy
Each time you call me
Your wife.

And though we're not
Making love now
And though were far too young
I smile every time
You admit to thinking
About our child
Because no matter
The doubt the world has
Nor us
We always seem to see
A future
Together.

He's seen me cry,He's seen me cut
He's seen me at my worst and stuck around to see me at my best
because he's my love,my best friend,and the only reason I'm alive...

The world,This world,is cruel,unkind and unjust.
All I hear is their laughter,the mocking,so old now.
I've heard it my whole life.
They seem to forget they are  not perfect either.
I realize my own hideousness.
They don't see theirs,so they laugh but they don't know.
The Pain.
I know I appear hideous.
I know I am not worthy of your attention.
But please before you judge me.
Judge yourself.

Tears pouring from her red eyes,
Her heart beaten to a pulp,
No part of her is whole,
Emptiness consumes her every breath,
Love changed her,
Hopes turned evil,
No longer alive inside,
She slips under,
Her numbness keeps her hidden,
She is unlovable,
She is no one,
She Is Me.

Every New Years Eve
Since that first one
Where I admitted
To myself that I loved you
Has been invaded
By my own misery
My own tears
For you always were away
Never mine
And though you are now
Your there in your prison
And here I stay in my jail cell
Locked away
Still aching for you
At least this year
My resolution doesn't
Have to be to stop loving you
But to keep loving you
Well...
As long as you love me
This New Years Eve
I'll be sulking
But only because
The memories always invade
And at midnight if I am awake
I'll be wishing for your kiss
Because I've never been kissed on New Years.

Words
Of regret
And apologies
Can't fill the cracks
Won't heal the wounds
I'm not capable of being fixed
There is more than you see
The pain seeps to deep
And the memories
Only burn deeper scars
Problems mounted problems
Conflicts go unsolved
The walls I've built
Out of cement and bricks
Are in ruins
The strength I had
Is depleting
And all the hope I had
For healing
Slowly Fades Away.

Sweet sweet hummingbird

Who suckles sweet nectar

Please stop pecking at my head.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm not perfect

I'm sorry I argue

I'm sorry I say the wrong things


*But I love you

I was looking for someone to love,
My heart gave me the shove,
I was looking for someone sweet,
Who would make my heart erratically beat,
I was looking for someone that would make me smile,
Someone who would walk with me for miles,
I was looking for someone who gives my heart a little tug,
Someone I could always hug,
I was looking for someone who wouldn't give in,
Even when time grew thin,
I was looking for someone who'd kiss me in the rain,
And promise to never cause me pain,
I was looking for someone who thought my heart was anything but plain,
Someone who wouldn't leave my heart slain,
I was looking for someone who could bring me joy,
Not someone with an evil ploy,
I was looking for someone to complete me,
Someone that wouldn't mistreat me,
Someone that would only be sweet to me,
I was looking for someone to be happy with,
This person can't be completely myth.

(I found all this in you,
The second my heart flew,
I knew it was you,
there was some kind of spell no one could undo,
It's true,I love you.)

I wonder all the time
If you think of me
If small things remind you of me
I wonder if you run your own hands
Through your hair
I wonder if you've found love again
If you're out there and you think of me
Please know sweetie pie
I miss you everyday
We can never go back
But I hope one day we can move forward
I know I can't find love
Not when my heart always wears your name
But I hope you do
Maybe she'll be innocent
Maybe she'll be a good cook
Maybe she'll have all your love
She would be the luckiest woman ever
I was once a lucky woman
But that was in another life now it seems.

I feel like
A kid
Who just got
Everything they
Wanted for
Christmas
I feel like
A child who lost
A tooth
And awoke to find
A simple dollar under its pillow
I didn't loose anything though
I gained
Achieved
Attained
I have
You
For
Well
For forever

I feel

Horrible

And I wish
You were here
To hold me.

We blended together so perfectly.I thought we were invincible,I felt so strong with you.My heart finally started to heal.Each day with you made it easier to forget the past.But now I can only regret it's over.I didn't even put up a fight though I wish I did.That is my regret.That is my only regret I simply cannot forget.

My mind
Evilly
Bombards me
With thoughts
Doubts and fears
Whispering to me
Asking if I'm sure
About his love for me
Am I sure he's been faithful and true
Does he want out on this
My heart just squeaks out
Its worry
For it'd surely be destroyed
If he left me
Stopped loving me
Gave up and left
I don't know
What to do
My mind
And my heart
Are missing you
So much
That they worry
And my body
It's just antsy
Because it misses your touch
Everything will be better
Once I see those eyes of yours
For there lies all the answers I need.

I am just a girl,
Not average,
But definitely not above average,
I've made up my own category,
They Label me,
I hate it,
They don't know me,
They just know what they see,
And I know it's not the prettiest view in the world,
But why do they have to put in their say,
I'm sick of it,
But I know them,
And their cruel words,
They Will never die,
There will always be someone,
Who has to judge someone they don't know,
Someone like me.

For her it was agony,
For him it was sweet and blissful,
He lied so well,
She never assumed him as and evil master-mine,
But oh,
He planned,
He played her so well,
He knew she always loved him,
And he made sure he kept her on a leash,
He would lie,
Tell her he loved her,
Tell her she was his world,
And soon enough it was her world that came crumbling down,
He began to deny her,
Deny he ever loved her,
Deny what they were,
He said their first kiss meant nothing,
He said anything they ever had was nothing,
He ignored her and their memories,
And in the process,
Destroyed the one girl who loved him,
the one girl that actually gave a ****.

I can't
Sleep
Tonight
So I
Wish
You were
Here
Because
You never
Seem to
Sleep
And it'd
Be nice
To try
To sleep
With you.

Of course
I love the way
Your hands
Have begun to
Linger at my waist
Your new way to hold me
Of course I love it
When you kiss me
With SO much passion
That each time it takes my breath away
And of course
I love it when you kiss me
And grab a handful of my hair
Making messy and
Then best of all
How you tug it lightly
And my head tilts back
Or tries to
But my lips are
So attached to yours
They'd hate to let go
I feel claimed as yours
When you do this
I like being claimed
Especially by you.

The water
Over flowing the shore
Crashing over
Destroying
The castle
We made
And no matter
How strong
We made it
Or how long
It took to make it
It crumbles
And our home
Our stability is gone
And like the shore
We will retreat
Losing each other
The ocean
Has become sabtoge.

It's too late now
and we can't go back
and fix everything that fell apart
in the time that you
were taking my heart
We can't put the pieces together
Because they no longer
Fit
We've each been torn
To bits
Apologies don't rid the dark
Won't bring the light
Can't relight the spark
We've harbored the pain
Love is gone
And We're both a little insane
We're troubled and lost
Can't find our way
Our joy comes with a cost
And we're unwilling to pay
I'm sorry this can't be bargained
I'm sorry for the words I didn't say
And I apologize that this is good-bye
Just promise never to ask why.

You can only try
Not to get hurt
By the shattered pieces
Try to pick up them up
Put it together
So close to whole
And then it all shatters again
The dark invades
And you seem so
Endlessly alone
Your fingers
****** and scratched
Probably gonna scar
This will be
A constant reminder
Of a broken part of you
You'll start all over
Try to forget this loneliness
But deep down
You know
A part of you will always be
Broken.

This waiting
Is a retching
Agony
Eating away
At my insides.

You broke me
I came begging for you back

You broke me
I came begging for you back

Over and over again
The cycle never ending

We had a solid year
Without shattering

So that final blow
When you packed your stuff
And broke my heart

Ended it all
All the years I spent on my knees
Begging for you to love me

It stopped
I had fallen out of love

Stopped believing you were my soul mate
Because the metal rope
That bound you to me
Had finally been severed

I gathered my broken bits
And told myself

I don't need a man
Who cheats because he doesn't trust me
I don't need a man who gave up on kisses
Gave up on making love
Gave up on respecting my choices

And maybe starting over is hard
And maybe I won't find another man

Who looks at me the same way you use to
Or that kisses me like you use to
Or that even calls me beautiful the way you use to do

Maybe I'll be alone

But that's better than being with a man
Who can't truly love me
Than being with a man who chooses to leave
Chooses to break me

Maybe I won't always be happy

But I'll be strong
I am a woman
And I will be strong.

I realized today
That you
Are unlike
Any other
Because
You
Are the only one
That can make me
Happy
In each and every way
You see you've always
Been my everything
And I waited patiently
To be yours
And I hope you know
Your the only
One
That will
Ever
Make me feel
Like living.

This feels so wrong,
But I cannot control it,
I need new experiences perhaps,
This dream,
I have it every couple of weeks,
It use to be the faces of teen girls I did not know,
But now it is my friends,
I dream of kissing them,
and it seems the longer I put off this urge,
The more passionate the dreams get,
I can't get the images of kissing another girl off my mind,
The thought won't fade,
Maybe I'm just lonely,
But this urge has haunted me
even when life is busy,
Maybe this is real,
Maybe I'm not just into Men,
Maybe I'm into Women too.

Just your name
Emitting from my lips
Made me taste
Venom upon my
Long untouched lips.

You're the story my heart
Never wants to end.

Somehow we've ended up
As friends again

But friends can't be lovers too

But I see the way you look at me

And it feels like something

I've been wrong before

Is it my love blinding me
Or could our spark still exist?

You hold me so close
I laugh

Wiggle away
And rub your back
The way you love
And it feels right
Why do I always feel so
Complete with you.

Tick Tock*

The clock ticks on by but I'm running,
Running out of time.
Love was started and I watch it ending.
Why does all die in time?

I try to let all go as planned,
To let fate take it's palce,
But I need things to change,
Even more I need to escape,
I pry at the clock,
It freezes,
And for a moment I can let go,
I can forget and in a moment I am free,
No longer trapped by time,
No longer trapped by the horrible fate that would've come if time didn't freeze.

Her life had been built
Purely to love
To love with everything she is

But her greatest fault
Was that no one
Could ever love her back

So she took the smiles
The friendship
The closeness

Always knowing
No man
Would hold her

Love her

Give her what she has given him
Courage to be themseleves
The ability to feel special

She cannot be loved
But that cannot stop her
From loving.

Today I
Craved the
Feeling
Of both your
Stubble and your
Tongue
Running down my neck
Because
I love the way
It gives me chills.

Home for me

Has become

That place

On your chest

Where I sometimes

Rest my head

Home has become

You

The arms that hold me

The lips that melt into mine

The hand that holds onto my hand

The heart that has finally made

Love worth the fight

You my love

Have become home.