Hidden deep
In the wounds
That have now
Healed over and scarred
Are the deepest truths a person may know
There lie the deepest parts of me
That I may never show again
For my wounds are no longer
Bleeding the crimson red truth ooze
I am now a healed person
Scarred for all of the life that I will live
But no longer leaking
No longer letting the past
The hidden life I've lived seep out
I have remained
And I will not return
That wound is healed
It's healed
And it shall not be reopened
I will keep the monsters in me caged
The truth
The history of me
Will remain inside
Locked away
For the rest of my days
But the fear of it's release stays
For you never know when
Your gonna get cut
You never know
When your gonna be attacked.

Even if it's yourself attacking.

It's when you
Know
Love is coming for you
And you let it take you
That you have found
Your soul-mate.

In a place of weakness
I moved my head up
From the soft place in your chest
And whispered
I want to marry you so badly
And even I had no intention to cry
I had no clue that my desires
Ran so deeply in my veins
And yet I knew with tears streaming down my face
I wanted you
For the rest of my life
And I knew this with such intensity
That nothing can quite compare
For I knew then I truly loved you
I knew I truly couldn't bare your absence.

I lie my head
Atop your words
And fall into a sweet sleep
For your words find their way
Into my soul
They barrel their way into my mind
And play over and over
Filling me with sweetness
Your words lull me to sleep
As they bring joy to my dreams.

As they bring you to my dreams.

Bliss does not compare
Joy not strong enough
To express the feeling
That grows in me when
I find you
And have you
Wrap your cozy arms around me

A smile on my face can never be as wide
As the one I wear proudly on my heart

Your gentle kiss
The sweet words
An amazing symphony
Ringing in my ears
I play it over and over
Just to keep my happiness
Happy


In your arms
It seems
Everything is
Better
Everything with you
Is perfect.

Your hands wrapped gently
Around my waist
The sweet kiss on my neck
The glorious whispers
Of a love shared
A love finally reunited
A future were reaching for
A beautiful picture
Made especially in our minds
Placed so high up on a pedestal
Only to be touched by us
Never to fall or break
Because we're determined
To make that image real
Because we've sworn our souls.

We promised the " I love yous"
And the " I love you too's "

I was a foolish girl
To once believe you'd stay

I was silly
To believe it when you said
" I will marry you one day"

Here lie my remains
Such a broken soul without you

Without you my soul
No longer feels complete
My life is shattering

All stability lost
I'm circling the end
For there is no life if there is no you

You beg that I stay
Keep loving you
You promise to.come.back
To marry me one day
But I don't know if its a chance
Such a foolish
Such a silly girl
Can take again.

You told me
You're leaving me
Again

Was I supposed to smile
And pretend it was okay

The pain of life
Without you

My Beloved
Has been unbearable
And I'm expected to do it once more

I'm expected to
Squander my time
Until your supposed return

I am sworn not to stray
You are sworn to that
And to love me

To try to keep us alive
So long as I stay true to you

But maybe our rollercoaster of love
Isn't at just another fall
Maybe it's just
Reached the end
And has nowhere else to go
The only option
Is to start all over


I'm not sure if the passengers are safe
They were almost destroyed last time.

Though I am not
And despite the fact
That I may never be
My heart swells
With such joy
Each time you call me
Your wife.

And though we're not
Making love now
And though were far too young
I smile every time
You admit to thinking
About our child
Because no matter
The doubt the world has
Nor us
We always seem to see
A future
Together.

He calls me beauty
Himself the beast
But why do I feel so monsterous
For my betrayal was only
Experimentation
Yet knowing
He'd never forgive give me
No such motive to stop
And I feel I've gone too
Far
Despite how meaningless
The encounters
Still these
Horrible things
Must not be revealed
For even though he loves me
This is unforgivable
And in an instant
To soul mates can be torn apart forever
A future can come crashing down
And the truth may even end two lives
So I bare the agony of the truth
Alone
I cannot destroy this
I will not let him know
This unto my grave I shall take
For the good of myself
For and my future spouse
and even for the child we hope to create
No matter how beautiful he claims I am
I know I am a monster
Who hasn't experienced much attention
and seems to have some
But has no ability to turn it away
Even if I have everything I will ever need.

The worst part
Of knowing you
Is not knowing this you
But the old one
You used to be with me
Somehow
For some reason
That I cannot explain
You've morphed
And I wish so much
To go back
To the person
Who'd save me with his eyes
Rescue me from collapse with his smile
And Somehow always knew
When to look back my way
Things seem to change so fast
In a small matter of time
Someone you love
Can become someone you hate
And the person you thought you knew
A person soft and caring
Suddenly becomes this
Completely different person
Cold and too ******* anothers insecurities
Maybe one day you'll change back
And if you do
I'll be here.

There are moments
Without him
When I doubt
When I fear
And writhe in agony
For his absence almost feels
Permanent
But I go to him
Each time I see him
Cuddle closely
And try not to let go
My closeness is
Reassurance
That he's still here
He hasn't left me
(Yet)
He loves me
I need him
I find my strength
In his arms
My joy
With his lips
And my survival
With his heart.

Passion beginning in short kisses
The moment tongues are thrashing
You pull me closer in a fit of desire
My pleasure audible
I seem to press closer and closer
Feeling your warm body tremble beneath me
You must be losing control
Because your pushing my hips away
I move them closer to feel your body
Hard against me
Your losing control
Circling my pant line
Almost giving into temptation
Giving into me
But you fight
Until you can't bare it
Any longer
And your hand
Crashes into my skin
In a beautiful feeling of pleasure.

In a life where we've been abandoned
In a world where less paternal instinct seems to exist
In a place where love is claimed by liars


We have experienced loneliness
A empty pain no other family member can replace
Liars have claimed to love us
Then betray us

Yet we remain
Always at the brink of suicide


We have found each other now
Promised to grow up to be parents who are there
Sworn to one another we love;always have and will

Here we are stronger than ever
No longer in pain
No longer alone
Or broken
Here we've claimed
Perseverance
We have shown what can happen
As long as
You NEVER give up.

There lies
Tangled sheets
Wrapped around
Two lovers
Who finally
Made love
In Their bed
The smile
They bare from
Their night
Exhausting
But ravishing
These lovers
Are soul mates
They must be
Such love making
Such passion
Cannot exist
Between anyone
But true soul mates

Each time you tell me
You love me
Its like a symphony
Went off in my chest
When you kiss me
A flame rages through
My body
All I feel is the collision
Our bodies close
But guarded by clothes
Desperate to be close
Trying to merge
Our souls
Mated at birth
And destined
To again join together
One day.

It's as my fingers
Lose the ability
To bend and grasp
it's the moment
I'm shivering
Because the cold is
Spreading rapidly
That I realize
I truly love you
It's as I bare the cold
That I know
I want nothing
The way I want you
And all I can do
Is hope you'll stay
And wish on every star
That one day
I get to be your wife
And that maybe
We can give this world
Our child to pass us on.

It's the moment
You kiss my lips
And tell me you love me
That I believe
My hopes and my wishes
Will come true.

Let me see
Your internal
Wounds
So I may
Heal them
As you
Are healing mine.

I
Have
Only
Needed
You
To
Survive
Because
With
You
I
Am
Whole
And­
As
Long
As
Your
Holding
Me
My
Heart
Feels
Happier
And
So
Much
More
Completed.

Take my heart
Veins cut
From unloyalty
Unfaithfulness
And injustice
Shattered by
This cruel world
But still beats
Your name
Hoping yours
Does the same
Wishing it could
Be yours
Forever.

It's not that
I have nothing
Flowing through my mind
It is simply that
I have too many thoughts
Ideas and images
And I currently seem
Incapable of sorting them out
Into anything worth
Expressing poetically
It's hard to write
When conflicted
And bombarded
By endless emotions
That are always changing
With new information
There is plenty I can say
I simply fear
The emotions and words
Will be to jumbled to
Enjoy
Or to successfully
Express how I'm feeling.

Hated for loving
When all I was supposed to do
Was care in secrecy
Hated for caring
When they wanted me to love
Hated for speaking
When silence was the only thing
To escape my lips
Rude and cruel boys
You surely are
What miscommunication
Because in that love
There was care
In my care there was
A small love
In my words of silence
Only goodness was expressed
Yet I am without you three
The one who wanted
Friendship
Lost it
The one who wanted
Love
Couldn't achieve it
And the one who wanted
Silence of his desires
Never got me.

I have you
Our lust
Our passion
Our love
And I never wanna let you go
I'm fearful
Of the day you'll leave me
Because everyone does
My life can't bare your absence
Because I awake each morning
Waiting for your kiss
Your hug
Smile
Touch
And whispered love
With you I am complete
No longer a broken soul
Looking for her other half
The future we've planned
Is all I need for the rest of my life
I wanna live with you
Marry you
Bare your child
And die blissfully
Old and In love.

I cannot allow
The past to interfer
With this present state of bliss
I cannot allow the memories crash
Into me
I cannot allow your eyes to pierce my soul
I will not let you infect me
You hate me
I hate you
But each time you look at me
And you do
I burst inside
Trying to figure out what to say
Fighting not to look back your way
I'm struggling because your smile
Or the memory of it
Invades me
Almost warms me
I have to go on
Battaling the memories
Because I can't let my heart
Feel anything for you
I refuse to risk all I have
All I've achieved
For a boy who
Already gave up on me.

From the land of the
Dead did I emerge
Wounds and scars
My way of life
Tragic love stories
Whispered in my ear each night
Making it so hard to fight

I was born from
Tears and prayers unanswered
I am from a mystical darkness
That always seems to loom

I am the Mighty Queen
Of complicated lives
Of broken hearts
And lost words
The monster in me
Was born the night
I came to life
(In the momement I first knew love)
And it promised never to leave
On the day I learned heart-break
Here I lie now
A creation of evil
Fighting to be good
To be anything but
What the world has tried
To make me.

The very thought
Shakes me to my core
I know I will always love him
I won't always be in love
But I care
Because each time
His piercing eyes
Look my way my heart
Trembles and breaks
I'll never forget him
How close our friendship was
His pure smile which caused me
From spewing tears
Even if hate is now
Our only purpose
I wish it'd change.

A shadow
Of someone
A silent walker
Movements
Seen from below
Body and soul
Strectched out
Breaking apart
Yet remaining whole
No longer human
Not able to contain
Emotions
Or any mental capacity
So empty
Incomplete
Always mssing
It's true inhabitor,
It's true self.

Oh Shadow Child
Go out and play
Take breath and stay
Your in need
Have some fun but later suceed
Shadow child don't live a life of greed
I am the one who brought you here
Please don't retain your fear
Let it all go
Learn to cry too though
Shadow child dance on the sidewalk
Go on be real,Talk
See life in only the best light
Tell me what you think is right
Don't worry I'm sure we'll agree
It's just you and me, at least for the day
I love you shadow child
That's why tomorrow you'll be free
Tomorrow you'll get a chance to know eternity.

You can only try
Not to get hurt
By the shattered pieces
Try to pick up them up
Put it together
So close to whole
And then it all shatters again
The dark invades
And you seem so
Endlessly alone
Your fingers
****** and scratched
Probably gonna scar
This will be
A constant reminder
Of a broken part of you
You'll start all over
Try to forget this loneliness
But deep down
You know
A part of you will always be
Broken.

Your sweet smile
Gentle laughter
The brink of flirtation
Those amazing moments
Where it was just you and me
Such warmth in your eyes
My heart that was slowly falling
Before you pulled on the reigns
And stopped me in my tracks
Our world
The one we gladly shared is now
Seperated
Your world and mine
Such hate in those eyes
A cool look of guilt
For your the one to turn me away
I cared so deeply
I'm sorry if you were afraid
But now everything
Has changed
And our flirtation
Is a hatred.

You hated me first.

Love me
Ignore me
Want me
Have me
Lose me
Hate me
Love me
Need me
Hurt me
Ruin me
Love me
Babe make up your mind
I know your confused
I completely get how jealous you are
He has me now
And you don't
It's obvious I'm happy with him
Maybe that's why your playing
This little game
Your just trying to win
But this game
Alredy has a victor
It's Him

To my future husband
Who see's me as his future wife
I love you,
I love the future we planned
Our child
Our marriage
The life we'll have together
Forever
Such contentment
In the very idea
The thought of
Falling asleep while you lie
Right next to me
Sleeping that way you do
So much joy
In the image of our family
The one we create
The life we can have
As long as we're here
As long as we believe
My future husband
Just do that
Be my future
Remain my past and present
But one day be mine
Be my husband.

They say
Don't look back
Forget the past
But it's so deep
Haunting memories
Of wounds
That won't heal
Tears that
We're always shed
Times of weakness
When you should've
Spoken up but
Stayed silent
Telling the world
Of my misery with
A mocking demeanor
For I fear weakness
But with every word
I smile
Act as though I'm proud
I hate it
I'm broken
But I won't let anyone fix it
I'm too untrusting
I've been hurt too much
I will not let it happen
Not Again.

I will not fumble
I will not fall
Holding in the tears
Won't bawl
Heart break is heart break
A pain no soul can take
Not so easy to shake
Show weakness with bloodshed
So many things left unsaid
The memories don't go away
They stay
Replaying in my mind
Hoping in them there is a strength I can find
But my heart is not whole
I'm slowly losing life and my impartial soul
I think a knife will make it better
So I write a good-bye letter.

For all the imperfections that create this being
There is another scar you'll never see
The horror of myself in weakness
Will not be often;
No, for all that I reveal is my insanity
For my weakness is burrowed deep
And it will not emerge again
My imperfections may make me
But they will not change my already injured soul
I know the world is cruel
So judgemental and materialistic
But me
I still worship personality, a caring soul
Who see's goodness and ravishes it
Still I only want another person
Who the world considers imperfect
So that together
Our imperfections
Seem so miniscule
So pointless
We'll be happy because
In each others eyes
We're just
Perfect.

Not one sea or ocean
Kept us apart
The people
The roads
Long and boring
They did
But our souls
They ran
They ignored
And as we moved
Closer and closer
We finally saw
What the world
Didn't want us to see
We're soul-mates
So happy together now
Such harmony
And no one
Nothing
Can change
What we know
It's just you and me
Because we finally
Reached each other
Finally got our chance.

I just want you
To take me each night
With that firey passion
In your illuminated eyes
Make me one with you
Every chance you get
Because no one
Does what you do for me.

Apart
A few minutes
Feels like hours
Hours like days
The day
Just one
Feels like months
Oh how our nine months apart
Felt like nine years
I simply cannot go on
The distance feels like
A never ending weight
You,Despite your efforts
Are the light that brightens my day
I need you
For I fear the life of darkness
I've lived it for too long
I can't return
So darling will you
Come be with me
Just stay here
I can't lose you.
I just can't.

I have never known passion
Until it was your hand
Rubbing between
My increasingly wet legs
I never wanted to take anyone
The way by body aches to take you
Or better yet
Have you take me
You focus so much on my pleasure
Never being greedy
You get off on my moans
And baby
I just can't handle the overwhelming
Ecstasy
I find when your lips meet mine
Because all I can think about
Is my love for you
And how your the only person
I've truly made love with
And each moment we're together in hot passion
I find myself begging for you
Inside and Out
By Heart Loves You
My Soul Needs You
But My Body
It Wants You.

My hand on your chest
Leg spread
One atop yours
Pillow tucked
Beneath my head
You lie straight
We whisper good-night
Say "I love you"
And fall into the
Most blissful sleep
We will ever know
And yet in the morning
I awake in a similar way
You lying beside me
I blink and blink
Just to make sure your there
And you are
All I know
Is that this is it
Because for the rest of my life
All I want to do is fall asleep
Beside you
And wake up
Beside you.

Forever.

Being tickled
Laughter can be bright
And sweet to ones ears
But he's the one tickling
My secret spot
I laugh and laugh
Feeling so happy
So free
And as always
Trying to escape
But while I move away
I don't want him to stop
For each little finger movement
and I'm rolling on the
Floor
My neck is so sensitive
And with him near
I can expect nothing less
But as I laugh
My heart has and overwhelming
Comfort
For there is no one in the world
I'd rather have tickling me.
No one.

You savage
Beast
Die,die
DIE!
Evil lurks
Your near
Demonic eyes
No soul
My hate is true
You lack any
Sympathy
Any care
Can such a
Monster
Have a heart
I never knew
A creature like you
Can play nice
But it's never long
Before true colors
Are revealed.

Never
Don't
Let your
Walls collapse
Don't let
Your heart
Lie freely
On the ground
Because
If a billion
People miss it
One person
Will
Get it
They'll stomp it
And then
All that will
Remain
Are shattered
Pieces
That will
No longer
Fit.

Sweet collision
Perfect images
my brain full of them
the desire filling
the want so endless
we have our love
have our future mapped out
but dearest
bring me somewhere
I want to be alone with you
Let's enjoy our romance
enjoy these sensations
I want you
Love you too
Can't say no
don't wanna
Take me away
all my dreams
are of us
our future
our intimacy
you and I
Are the perfect broken pieces
completing the other.

There is a girl
who used to cry herself to sleep
cringe at the memories
the invasion of their bodies
of her own
poor girl cut herself
while images of death loomed
what fear
so lonely in such a large world
untouchable for the mere fact
that she already had been
so much pressure
she thought she'd explode
Everyone gave up on her
so cold
warmth wasn't possible
buried her head into books
tried to pretend it'd all be okay
but who was she fooling
she was broken
lost
alone
she was done.

Body near compulsion
I'm pulling and grasping
Trying to breathe while breathless
Our bodies merge
They try to understand
Smashing together with
No connection
It makes so little difference
Because I'm still pulling and pleading
Wanting and waiting
First timer my friend
Yet so well practiced
So knowledgeable of what's right
I wanted and received
I achieved my goal
your in my clutches
my body is yours just as your body
is mine
I'll show you the ropes
but babe it seems lke
you know the whole obstacle course.

Oh ragged breath
you betray me
Let him know
How good he is
At the things he does.

Oh gentle moan
You let him know
I want more.

Oh fingers
You grip in such
desire and lust
You try to roam him
Try to explain your
Ultimate needs

Oh dear body
You want him
And you have
For quite some time
So do it
Take him.

I don't want to prove them right
Don't want them to see me in my true light
Most of those ******* lies
Have some truth
And they bring out the why's
You see I am not fair
For though I love him
my mouth has been more than just there
If he knew
his heart would break
oh and mine too
Those rumors hurt the distrust to
but I know I cant change the hate
I cant change that somethings are simply true
No matter what I say or what I do.

To be loved by you
I can't say I believe
Can't admit it could be true
Seems like your after only the physical
Even if I led the way
You seem to be after something
Someone you can't have
Could it be revenge
Or is your heart as warm as I've only wished
In your arms I feel so safe
So secure
Protected from the world
But I will not be hidden in the dark
I will not allow darkness to destroy you
You tease me without teasing me
For my mind is doing all the trickery
And while I need you around
I'm still so unsure
What it's like to be loved by you
I don't wanna let you go
But I thought I was not an option
Thought you didn't care
I was a scared girl
Who had been broken before
And ran away when she thought
Something she felt was real
I can't go back
But I can't move forward
I'm stuck in between
All I know is
If it's true
I'd like to be loved by you.