Let's just say
It's not only
My heart that
Misses you.

I wish I could
Forget you
So we'd truly be strangers
So our eyes wouldn't meet
And we wouldn't have to
Purposely
Avoid eye contact
Or try to
I wish I could
Erase that wasted time
So I wouldn't
Have to know you exist
I wish I could get rid
Of all the memories
So the ache of knowing
Who you were
And who you are
Has changed
I just want to forget you.

Ignore the
Harsh words
And please
Lavish yourself
In the good ones
Never ignore
The words
"I love you "
Because I tell you
Every time I can
Don't listen
To my words
From the past
Because not all
Of them are sweet
Darling
Just know
No matter what I say
Or what I do
No matter what happens with you
Or me
My love for you
Will live on forever.

I'm sorry
I was born
To never be perfect
I live an outcasts life
Enjoying it in some moments
Hating it in others
I was created
Never to conform
To love the color black
And be like no other
I am sorry
I'm human
And show weakness
And flaws
I just hope one day
Someone will accept me.

I wish they
All asked permission
In the midst of their desire
I wish they had asked me
If it was what I really wanted
So that I didn't make those mistakes
Didn't let them invade me
So I could've ran like I wanted to
I do not blame anyone
But I sometimes wish
They simply asked
Before they entered my body
And left me impure
Left me unlovable
I wiped away
Their memories
But no one can ever
Wipe away my shame.

I fear
When you worry
And I worry
About your worrying
I fear
Your doubt
Your doubt leaves me
Doubting
I fear
What you see
Because you see
Sorrow
When there is none
And then you make it grow
When you see something nonexistent
And then we're sad
And I fear it
I fear losing you
Because you
Your the only good thing I have in this world.

Love me
Love me
Love me

Please
Please

Your the one
The one

You are my soul mate
My soul mate
I need you to see that

I hope you love me
Truly love me
*Please love me

Whenever I
Think about
You hard
Entering me
The most
Amazing sensation
Runs through
My body
I tremble
Moan and
I shake
And one
Day it
Won't be
Fantasy or
A dream
One day
It will
Be reality.

I wish
Someone would
Ask me
What happened
In my life
I wish I could
Tell them
So that they'd
Understand it
I wish
It was easier
To remember.

I
put
the
past
behind
me
and
I
make
sure
not
to
turn
around
because
the past
may hold
a pain
you let go of
but looking back
Might
make it seem
New again.

I wish you'd stop
But it's not in your nature
You worry
And can't forget
Yes
You left me
And my aching soul reached out for you
When the call went unanswered
My body exploded
Couldn't turn away
For the pain was pleasure
And the pleasure
Complete agony
I changed
Yes
But I was altered
So that I could live
If I did not change
I would've committed suicide
Then I'd surely have gone to hell
You went away
And that's okay
Because your mine once again
And I hope for the rest of our days.

I slept
Horribly

Ironically
The two nights

I couldn't
Hear your voice

My tossing
My turning

Keeps me up
Because my soul

Feels alone
Without you

And not even
I can sleep

Not even me
Who sleeps endlessly

Can sleep even a night
Without hearing your
Sweet words
And whispered nothings.

They looked
At me
Like I was a monster
And I viciously
Look at them
With the
Fierce image
Of ripping out
Their throats
And standing atop
Their newly
Rotting corpses.

I feel more
Like the old me  right now
Wanting to scream
Begging for you
Missing you
Feeling so
Desperate
I need you
I can't stand
For this altered
Version of me
She's even weaker
Than I am with you
I need you
I miss you
I feel worthless
And empty.

Your the only one
Who can make
My name
Feel like me
Your the only one
Who says my name
In a way where
I almost begin
To love it
Cherish it
And so long as
I have you
My name shall stay.

I prayed
I wished
I dreamed
I hoped
That you'd
Come back

It didn't happen

I stopped
My praying
Wishing
Dreaming
And hoping

And there you we're


I prayed
Wished
Dreamed
Hoped
That you'd be mine again

And it seemed like you hated me

I stopped
Praying
Wishing
Dreaming
Hoping

And you became mine again.

Our bed
One we'll
Share in the future
Where I rest my eyes
And you occasionally do too
Where the stains
Of our passion
Appear
Where our child
Shall be made
The bed they'll
Crawl into after having
A nightmare
The bed we grow older in
Each night trusting it
To be gentle
With our bodies
That are growing frail
Our bed
Where we'll leave this world
Our bed where many
Laughs
And moans
And secrets will be told
Our bed
The one to carry us through
Our journey of life.

I knew
This Christmas
Would be missing
Something
Once all
The gifts
Unwrapped
Spewed
All over
I realized
The usual
Excitement
From previous years
Didn't exist
Because all
Those Christmas
Mornings
I had gifts
To make
Me happy
Its what I needed
For they temporarily
Filled the void in me
But this year
My void goes unfilled
Because you
Are not here
And you
Are the strength to go on
Usually you keep
My weak soul
Hanging on
I hope I see you soon
This void of mine
Misses you
I miss you.

You
Always know
Always sense it
You see it
In my dark eyes
And you ask
What's wrong
And its then
I see how foolish
This is
I'm always upset
At nothing
So I tell you I'm fine
And I know
I will be
As long as your beside me.

We
Pass by
And
We avoid
All eye contact
Hate lives
In one another
A hate
For each other
But I believe
Our eyes
If they meet
Will show
Weakness
And we'll
Realize
All that we lost

My soul
Always itching
To be closer

To you
My love

For our souls
Were mated
By the hand
Of God himself

Yes even He
Has time for two
Young lovers

He was so kind
To bring us together
And ensure
That our souls
Finally entwine.

My heart
Aching
As distance
Is leaving
Us apart
This holiday
Without you
Reminds me
Of all
The loneliness
That I
Spent in
The past
Few years
I miss you
My love I
Need you
I must wait
But I need you
Your kisses
Are desired
And the whispered
I love you
As well
I hope
To see you
Soon darling
And when I do
Take me in your arms
And just hold me tight.

My love
It's always
Existed for you
And now
My lust
It grows
My body
Desperate
For intimacy
For the passion
And the
Sweet feeling
Of your finish
As well as my own
I so
Wish
For our
Bodies to collide
But sometimes
Patience is needed.

You
Whether
You become
My husband
The father
Of my unborn
Child
Or Whether
We part
And our
Hearts become
Shattered
We will
Always be
Friends.

I just
Wish
I could
Escape
From
All
These
Ignorant
Voices
Escape
From
Their
Hat­red
And stupidity.

My hate
For you
So strong
Can't even
Bare to
Look into
Your demonic
Eyes that
Once enticed
Me
My hatred
So deep
I cannot
Let go
Nor forget
I hate
What you've
Called me
Hate that
I was
To be
Ignored for
The care
And friendship
That I
Had stupidly
Offered
You are a
monster
A beast
In a wonderful
Disguise
But I can finally
See the real you
Beneath it all.

I fear my lack of inspiration to write
The words no longer flow
No longer hold me tight
Can't seem to rhyme anymore
An itch hard to ignore
The truth staring me in the face
A time ending in a horrible place
For soon my words will fade
And I will be full of emotions just too afraid
For failure in your creation
Causes quite a painful frustration
But I'm scared to stop these words
Because if I'm lucky they come like this in herds
I love the process of choosing
But hate in the end when a poem is losing
Critics play rough
But as a poet I move on
We're all pretty tough.

Sometimes
I wish
I could
Kiss away
The unseen
Scars
The invisible
Wounds too
Sometimes
I want to
Patch up all
The Holes in our heart
Erase all the bad
From our evil pasts

Tears
Were
Almost
Pouring
From
My
Eyes
And
I
Do
Not
Know
Why.

My child
Future
Far future
Visits my dreams
Showing me
How absolutely
Ecstatic I will be
To be a mother
Because
I've always wanted to be.

No
I don't
Believe
Often
A doubt
Rises up
In my
Torn soul
And I push
And push
Because
I want to
Believe
But how
Can the Man
Of my dreams
Actually love me.

I have noticed
That whenever
I'm his and he's mine
There is a feeling
Of joy and completion
I can't help but
Miss him the moments
We spend apart
Always thinking
Of his amazing
Everything
And cant help but
Want to tell the
Whole world
How happy he makes me.

I tried
Tried so hard
To fight
To let you go
But my heart
It needed you
My dreams
Kept me hoping
They'd plague me
Each night
Reminding me
Of you
Of all you mean to me
And nothing could
Truly end
My desire
My love for you
Replacements were failures
Because there's only one you
Eventually
My dreams ended
But by the time they did
You returned to me
And my soul was once again free
I was no longer
Caged.

My life
Not inhabited
By you
Is a lonely
Desperate thing
My survival
Forced
My pain
Intense
My waiting
Never-ending
My hope
Never dying
My love
Forever alive
The time
Spent away
Helped us
Reach clarity
Helped us
Part
To once again
Reunite
The distance
Was far
But now
We're here
Close.

Together.

I will admit
Here and now
That his touch
It leaves me
On cloud nine
My body sore
From such pleasure
Yet that is not all
Not all that I love
Believe me please
I love him
For that fumble
That happens
When he says he loves me
I love him
For the way he makes me smile
The way he makes me laugh
The way I can read him
And he can see everything
Beneath my surface
I love him
For the light kisses
And the rough ones
I love him
For his kindness
His care
I love him
Because I always knew I would
My heart
It's been his
Since the day he
First looked me in the eyes.

I have to realize
We've changed
And the only one
He truly loves
Is the girl
I use to be.

I had a dream last night
                                          




            ­                                                    I lost you

You ended us


                                                          Al­l I know is I broke

Knowing there could never be

                                                           Another you and me

I couldn't  do anything

                                              To escape from the nightmare

Except wake up

                               Because I can't even live in dreams


If I don't have you.

Today
I thought
About our future
Together
With our apartment
And my cat
I thought
About sharing a bed
And how little
I would care
About that dream wedding
Most girls want
Because I'm not most girls
And my love is all I need
To say "I do"
I thought about our past
Making us stronger
And all that we have
To look forward to
I found myself
Tearing up and
Smiling go gleefully
I found myself feeling
Whole.

Kiss me hard

Full of passion

And love

And lust

Kiss me

For the rest of my life.

Tease me

Until I explode

From ultimate

Sensual pleasure.

Please.

I will be

The zebra

You can be

The lion

And I'll

Let you devour me.

I want
To go to
The zoo
With you
Point out
Our favorite
Animals
And least favorite
I want to take a picture
Of the animals
With you at my side
And maybe capture
That amazing smile of yours
I want to do so much
But I'd love to see you
With me
At the zoo.

Never go
                    Don't leave
                                                 Stay with me

**And love me forever

Your soul
Has been
Calling out
To mine
Since I first
Could retain
Any memory

My heart
Has been
Calling out
To yours
Since that
Day we
First met.

Our bodies
Have been
Calling out
Since that
Day
When we
Shared
Our first kiss.