It was raw
And I knew it
Had to be true
You said you loved me
And I believed
Despite
The pain
The agony
Our battle
The victory is always
Rewarded to Love.

Is it wrong
That this death
Makes no impact
Is it wrong
That the only pain
I feel
Is that of my
Guiltless conscience.

Do me a favor
Think of our child
Don't you want 'em
To be strong
And stick up
For what they believe
Don't you want them
To have a choice
In what they believe in
Because they might
Just hate you if you pressure them
Like you are me
Don't you want them
To be happy
To love you
To exist?

I must sound problematic
Because I keep missing you when your here
Yet I keep wanting you when your not.

My kitty
Is here for me
If no one else will be
She'll share this bed with me.

I know
Your hurting
And your all messed up
Your thoughts scattered
Only knowing
The kind of person
You want me to be
Avoiding who I am
Not seeing
How clearly your hurting me
And blinded
To how hard I'm fighting
To stay
Because my heart begs
Pleading that I've fought to hard
And far too long to quit now
But I know this will become
Our undoing
For you
Despite what you say
Only accept me
But if you really loved me
You'd accept who I'm not.

INTRUDER
That's all you are
And This
Is my territory
And the law says
I have every
Right to
Shoot you down
Where you stand.

I wish
I could
Save you
Because
You deserve
To be
Happy.

Of course
I'd like to
Be freed
From the curse
Of memories
That bombard me
I'd like to be honest
About my pain
And my mistakes
That ultimately created
This outcasts soul
But I cannot tell
For my life would
Quickly become ruins before it gets well
But I've asked for His forgivness
And that is all I can do.

It wasn't  because
I found you attractive
It wasn't  because I found
You mentally desirable
Or because I found you
Sexually Wonderous
Its not due to the fact
That your kind and funny
I didn't know any of that at first
I loved you
Because the first time
You looked me in the eyes
My heart skipped a beat
And I just knew
You were the one
I'd spend the rest of my life with.

I began
My unruly desire
For love at three
Already lost
And hopeless
Searching for love
Each and every day
Always sensing it
Was close
And at
Eleven I met you
And our journey began
Just as ******* up
As it is beautiful
Because here we are
Four years later
Dreaming of our future
Knowing now
That young love
Does exist
And can survive
I've been looking for love
Since I was three years old
And I found it eight years later
With someone whom I love
And you may doubt it
Our love
Our story
My search
But it's all true
I swear that to you.

I love that your
So polite and
Old fashioned
Always asking
Before you
Touch
From the start
Having respect
For my body
And even when
Its obvious I want you
You ask
The first time comicality
Surrounded by the beginning
Of true passion
Can I touch those?
As though
They were mutants
But that's how the
First touch goes
I love it when you ask
Because each time you do
I know I was suppose to be with you.

I've made so
Many mistakes
In life
And with you
But The things that
Life has taught me
Will keep me safe
The things
I've learned
By ******* up
With you
Taught me
To fight
Harder to be what you want
Because your worth change
Your worth fighting for.

I looked in the
Mirror
And saw
How hideous
I am
and I
Questioned
How he bares
To look at me
Each day.

Don't stay
If its because
You pity me
Or because
I'm partially
Your creation
Don't stay
Because you
Feel like
You wanna fix me
Or because
You feel bad
About
How my life changed
Because of you
Stay with me
Only if you love me.

Will you
Accept me
As I am
Or let
The future
We dream of
Fall apart.

The worst
Part about
Fighting
With you
Is that
I have no one
To hug me
And tell me
It'll be okay
Because you're
The only one
Who can
Comfort me.

For four years
I have loved you
Please
Don't
Doubt that.

You
Were
Life
Altering
But
I
Don't
Regret
One
Moment
Of
Agony
Because
It
Brought
Me
Back
To
You
My
True
Love
We
Were
Mea­nt
To
Meet
And
Be
Forever
Changed.

God
Has yet to
Teach me
His words
Or whether they be true
God as a child was
Not real
But I grew to need him
While alone in this cruel life
Yet he has not spoken to me
Only answered
Prayer after prayer
And for that I am thankful
But how am I to know
The kind of life he wants me to lead
If he does not allow
My soul to believe
The possible lies of his disciples
How am I suppose to make sure
I'm on the right track
When I already feel as though
I'm falling off before it begins.

I'm cutting
The chains
And setting
Myself free
I'm sick
Of being
A caged
Beast.

We'll pretend
We never argued
Like I never cried
Like it didn't hurt
And we didn't fall from our pedestal
We'll bury it
For another month
Until the storm once again stirs
Awakening the truth
If we don't fix it
We never will
And this
Us
We
Will never
Truly be okay.

Your asking me
To change
My base
Your asking me
To believe in
Something I don't
And it breaks my
Scarred heart
To think this
Can destroy us.

I told you

Go

It's okay

I understand

This problem

Has no solution

You said it yourself

I'm ****** up

So its okay

Go

But **** me on your way out

For my heart will surely break

And I'll lose my will to fight

Go

But know I will always

Love you.

Now more than ever
I'm scared
That being me
Just won't be
Enough
To make him
Stay.

Waiting
Patiently
For the day
When we don't
Have to
Work around
Schedules
And holidays
Where
We can come home
And find the other
Lying in bed
Our cat arriving at our door
To comfort us
And then our child running down the hall
Screaming
Mommy
Daddy
Once everyone is bed
It'll just be us
Our wedding bands
And our comfy bed
Calling our names
For we will
Live our lives
Together
Happily
And
Joyously.

Laced in fear
Lightly coated
With general
Desire
So desperate
For you to stay
Yet even more
So for you
To be with me
Always.

I felt
Embarrased
It would've been easier
To eat in front of you
Than that
But there's no
Taking it back
No time machine
To change the past
It's okay
I guess
Because
Things happen
And we just have to move forward.

Finally
I suceeded
In achieving
Somethings new.

I love it
When you
Kiss me
And everyone
Is watching
Because your
Not afraid
To be seen
With me.

                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                   I love it when you hug me
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                 Like it's beeen years
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                    Since you've seen me
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                 So warm and wrapped tight.





I love it
When you
Tell me you love me
Because
I feel the vulnerbility in you
As well as myself
And when I reply
You almost always
Hug me
And then kiss me.

                                                            ­                                          
                                                                ­                                   I simply cannot determine
                                                       ­                                            What it is that I love more
                                                            ­                                         The way you hold me
                                                              ­                                        The way you kiss me
                                                              ­                                        The way you love me
                                                              ­                                         But it's okay because
                                                         ­                                              At the end of the day
                                                             ­                                               I love it all.

When your hand
Goes up and down
My back
Every touch
Every instant
Is A release
Tension and stress
Dissipate
And all I can
Feel is you
And all I wanna do
Is give you a hug
So you know
The effect you have on me.

My heart


                         Once a caterpillar


Not yet grown

                      
                             But once it knew

Love


                           It grew


To be


                             A beautful butterfly


Fluttering



                           And fluttering


On it's way



                            Straight to you.

Needing you
Waiting for you
The distance
Only temporary
No matter how agonizing
We'll reach the day
When time together
Is endless
Or at least
More available
We'll get there
One day
We will
Because that's
How it's suppose to be.