My poor head
With all it's endless
Pain and aching.

That **** razor
Which I adored has
******* me over.

I guess
I just haven't
Made it clear yet
I'm completely
Insecure
And absolutely
Hideous in my own eyes
It doesn't change
It never has
It never will
No matter
What you
Or anyone else says
The truth is
I'm just
Not
Happy with
Myself.

I'm fat

And I must spend my life with that

Don't tell me I can change

A skinny life would be strange

I know it's not easy

Being made fun of and gone after by guys that are ******

I'm fat

And it gets hard to deal with that

I've tried to change and better my life

But the food makes me sick and the junk replaces my knife

I can't help the way I am

But at least my life isn't a sham

So I struggle with security and will power


It doesn't mean I cower

I get by

Without a regretful sigh

Because even though I'm fat

Even though it's tough

I face that fact.

Wrapped in you
Light kisses
The tv
Playing rock
In the back
You smile
I laugh
My heart
Swells
And inside
I cry
Because this
Only makes me
Want you more
Not just now
Not just
For a few years
But Forever
Because I love you
Too much to Ever
Let you go.

I like to
Play
Games
With my head
I like to ask
Questions
Like
What if
Destiny
brought us together
What if it was God
Could it both
Was it?
I get so lost
In this mind
Asking unanswerable
Questions.

I love that
Look
On your face
The way
Your eyes
Look desperate
For more
The way
You need me
Not just because you love me
But because you
Lust for me too.

Tease me
Because that's
How I've
Imagined
Making love
Would be,
A long
Frustratingly
Pleasurable
Tease
Leading
To
Something
Just a little
More Amazing.

Every time
It's like getting
To know
A part of my soul
Laying with him
Bare and more
Vulnerable
Than ever before
It's as though
I've finally
Found
My piece of heaven
And I find it
Each and every time
He does that with me.

Hello my love
I have been searching
For you
For a long time
Are you the
One?
Can my journey end now?
I loved you
Even before this
I loved you the moment
My heart
As tiny as it was
Knew what feelings
Actually were
And once I found you
I just knew
The love of my life
Yes, You
I hope your always happy
Happy in life with me
For I promise to always be happy with you
I promise
To try my hardest
To make this work
I promise
My love will never die
Because no matter
How hard
People try to **** it
It will always live on
For my love for you is undying and true.

When his
Sweet words
Are known
My heart
Aches
Not because
A pain is
Ignited
But simply
Due to
My heart swelling
From utter joy.

The storm
Raging
And brutal
Has finally
Ended
And now
All I have
To do
Is dry
Off
And hope
The sun
Shines
Through.

We are in-fact
Meant to be
God has surely
Whispered that to me
But behind our
Ignorance and fear
I believe
He may be saying
It's not time yet.

I'm sick of this
Sick of not being good enough
Sick of being changed
Sick of you telling me to change
To pretend
Sick of arguing
Sick of fighting
Of the tears
Sick and tired
Of being knocked down
I'm not who you want me to be
And if I'm not
Good enough for you as I am
Then maybe you should go
And if you don't
Maybe I'll have to.

I will always
Fight to keep you
Because I know
What its like
To lose you.

I will always
Love you
Because I know
The ache
Of pretending I don't.  

I will always
Need you
Because I know
The agony of feeling
Weak without you.

I will always
Choose you
Because I know
That you
Chose me to.

I will always
Be here for you
Because I know
How lonely life can be.

I understand
Your happy
Because I
Said I'd
Play pretend
But what if
I wasn't
So happy?

Love makes you do
Crazy things
****** up things
Love makes you lie
Love keeps you in fear
Love can break you
Chew you up and spit you out
Love can destroy lives
But love can also create them
Love can make you feel vulnerable
Which isn't always bad
Love makes you more honest
At least with yourself
Love keeps you safe
Love can heal your wounds
And help the scars fade
Love is something
Insane
Love is all a person needs
To get by.

The feeling
Like your floating
On cloud nine
But it's filling
With raindrops
The ache of
Knowing
The rain
Will blend
With someone's
Tears
And their
Misery and agony
Will come and
Reach you
Trying to
Make that
Safety on
Cloud nine
Disappear.

A heart

Is never

Ready

To be broken.

I wish
but you and me
Are torn
And the ache
Grows with
every threat
That you'll leave
And every
False idea
That maybe I can
I wish
But too much
has been destroyed
Can we salvage this?

Your fear
Shaking me
To my core
It derails me
I'm afraid
Not that
You want
To leave
But due to
Anxiety you
And I
Will part
For my frail
Heart cannot
Bare
To be away from you
You are
The support
I've always needed
And I'll fight
Always for you.

You're a ****
And I'm so
******* sick
Of backing
Down and
Turning away
I don't care
What you say
I'll say something
Back to you
I'm standing my
**** ground
And I'm not
Backing down
You are a monster
And I'm finally
Prepared
To fight back.

Nothing makes
Me happier
Than to hear
Your voice saying
*I Love You.

I have this
Never ending feeling
Not even You
Want this
To Last.

I get so
Happy
When I
Talk about
Marrying him
And the life we could
Live together
But then we fight
And A fear arises
Perhaps he and I won't suceed
For young love dies fast
But still I want it to last
I've been praying on my knees
Since day one
And hope has yet
To die.

Something in
The pit of me
Broke
As fear whispered
*It's not time yet

Break me into pieces
And pour me over you
As if you've won
And your showing me
How victorious you truly are.

I don't
Feel like
Doing this
Anymore
I simply
Can't handle
It all
Not anymore.

As sleep
Takes me
Into its depth
I'll dream of you
Hoping everything
Will be alright.

Will you love me
Years from now
When conversation
Runs low
And there's
Just the daily us
Mocking your attention
Will you love me
If our child is grown and gone
And we're once again left
To twiddle our thumbs
Will you love me in old age
When its unlikely we're able to move
Nonetheless make love
Will you love unto your grave
Even if I should pass first
And your left alone for some time
Will you love me
As I swear
To always love you.

I cannot wait until
You and I
Can wake up
With bed head.

Can't wait until we
Can have dinner
Together.

Can't wait to
Argue about chores
And who does what.

I can't wait to
Fall asleep in our bed
The one we make love in
And call you my husband.

My body
Bloated with passion
Is not easy without you
For I writhe
Back arched
Soft frustration
Uttered from my lips
Hand desperate to touch
To feel
Roam
But it's nothing
Compared to
How every
Kiss
Every caress feels with you.

To be
Loved
For the first time
Is like
Jumping
Off a swing
When your so
High up
Your scared
But you know
It'll be worth it
And so
You jump
And feel
Joy
And butterflies
And you just want
To keep feeling this way
And as long
As the love goes on
You can
You **Do.

I Just Hope
That Our
Passion
Never Dies


Not Ever.

Never let me go
For I'll
Hold onto
You forever.

Every single
Solitary moment
Standing in
The cold
0 below
Is worth it
As long
As I have you
To Hug
To Kiss
For your love
Will keep me warm.

You came out
Walked into my arms
And kissed me
The sun shining bright
Joy in my heart
Something unkown to me in yours
And laughter filling me
For this was completion
And the sweet taste of
Revenge filled me
As across the street
Stood someone
I had once cared for
And he looked
And looked
With hate in his heart
Or a confused sense of jealousy
For here I am
Happier than ever
In your arms.

They're telling me
I still care
About him
But what do they know
Nothing
For my heart
Already belongs
To someone
And it sure as hell
Isn't him.

It's hard to believe
All we've
Been through
To get
*Here.

Let me
Slither away
In shame
For I do not
Deserve such
Greatness
For though
I never knew
I destroyed
Both me and you.

Looking back
I just
Always knew
From that moment
Our eyes met
Something
Grew
My heart learned
Love is real
It discovered
Our love is the truest of the true.

I stayed
Because
I love you
And I wanted
To prove
I could be
A good wife
Sticking with you
Through any stupidity
Or nonsense
I wanted to prove
That I'm strong enough
To leave
But crazy enough to stay
The truth is
My life
Without you is predetermined
And I fight that destiny
Telling me
It's not time yet
And that another time will be
Because I want you now
And NOTHING
Could make me want to leave you
No matter how much my heart hurts
Or how broken it becomes
It will always belong to you.

Kissing me
Tenderly
I melt
With joy
Cascading
All around.

The water
Over flowing the shore
Crashing over
Destroying
The castle
We made
And no matter
How strong
We made it
Or how long
It took to make it
It crumbles
And our home
Our stability is gone
And like the shore
We will retreat
Losing each other
The ocean
Has become sabtoge.

Looking into your eyes
I know that this is
Suppose to be
Forever
Yet there's
Our battles
But no couple
Is perfect
And we're still young
We'll figure it out
And ignore that feeling
I use to have
Because your it
The stop sign
For love has found me
And I no longer need to search.