I read the word of God each night
And when I pray
My tears flow
With painful honesty
With a ache of my wants
And for all that I'm thankful for
Hoping that something
Anything will bring back
All that I had
I have to rely solely on God
For I'm on the down *****
Of a rollercoaster
And He's the only one
Who can save me
And bring me back to you.

On the outside
I seem okay
But inside I'm
Just a broken disaster
The only comfort I find
Are the ache of the memories
The hope you gift me
And when I read the Bible
And when I pray
And break into tears.

I stared into the mirror last night
And I cried
But this time I cried not because
I disliked what I saw
But instead because of what you
Always saw in me
Because no matter how I looked
You found beauty in me
Even when I
Was simply a crumpled mess
You'd hold my hand with pride
And tell me I was beautiful
So thats why I cried
Because your words
Made me feel loved
Even if everything's changed
Those words
Meant everything
You mean everything.

I cried
Because I missed you
I cried because
My heart knew
Without even thinking
I cried because
Once analyzed
I remembered
Every part of you
That I've seen
And inspected
That I touched
I remembered
You and me
I remembered
Being in those arms
And I remembered
That this love
Will never fade
Because you will always
Set fireworks off inside of me.

I sit here
And I cry
And I smile
And I frown
And I laugh
And that's
What I think love is
All those emotions
All of the emotions
Wrapped up
So that when you see
The one you love
You feel so many things
And the hard truth that
Anything less than love
Can't make you feel the same
So baby yes
You make me cry
And yes you make me laugh
But its all for loves sake.

Seeing you
Feeling any
Inch of your presence
Has always moved me
So here I am
Feeling you around me
Our history
Floating memories
That never dissipate
And I cry
As I always do
When I feel you this close
I cry and I smile
For all the wonderfulness
You gave me
Thank you
For every moment.

There will always be hardships in life. I decided to let you in that day. I saw something amazing in your eyes and I knew no matter what came you'd be worth it and I was right because despite everything my love came through and that's special. God doesn't always bless people with love and definitely not a love like ours and I'm thankful for all the moments we've had because God was blessing us in each moment.

There's no point
In asking you
To be mine
Because as much
As you want to
You can't risk it
As much as I want
To beg you
I know you can't say
Okay to the idea
That we need to be
Together
I know as much as
I beg and I plead
And I hope and I pray
I need patience and faith
But the pain is just so strong
And I just want you
But I'm just a dreamer
Whose dreams are
Currently unavailable.

I want to tell you
How I feel
Even if your upset
So here it goes

I love you
And I crack
Under all of your
Goodbyes
The truth is
I cried myself
To sleep again
And that I cry
Almost once a day
Everday
The truth is that
I'm bettering myself
With hope one day
I'll be good enough
The truth is
That I cringe
At every moment
I spend being
With someone
Who isn't you
And I don't know
How to get him
To be just a friend
When he wants more
And I want less
The truth is
I ache every moment
Because I miss you
I miss your love
I miss your caring words
I miss being your
Fiancée
Your wife
Your lover
I miss being a part
Of your life
My heart is only
Filled with you
And my love of God
I miss you being in my life
I miss talking to you
Hearing your voice
I miss those brown eyes
And I wish
And I pray
To be saved
From my ache
From any darkness
Around me
I pray for your happiness
I pray you could be with me
I pray you understand
That your the man I will love
Forever and that
I don't want anyone else
I want you
To laugh with
Watch a movie with
To play with
To love
To kiss
I worry so often
That at any moment
You'll move on
And leave me for good
If you do
All my nightmares
Would've come true
You see I love you
And that's never going to change
You can do and say anything
And I will love you
Because I know the man you are
Is gentle and fragile
I know the man I love
Will always be in those eyes
In the way you see me
The way you see the world
Baby dearest you
Complete every missing part
Of who I am
You make me feel
Comfortable with who I am
You make me confident
And feel beautiful
You inspire me to live
You make me feel
Like I have a purpose
I need you
Because I love you
You will always be
My love
And baby
I'll never take another lover
Baby I'll never sleep beside
Another man
I promise that
Because your the only one
I want to wake up to
Your the only one I want
To see my Medusa hair
Your the only one
Who I want to share my life with
And I'd do anything to prove that to you
Please sweetie stop looking for the problem
And listen to me
Listen to the facts
I love you
Craziness and all
My tears and aching heart beg you to see
That whenever you can
Whenever you want
I'll be here waiting for you
Because you
Are my true love
First and only

The problem with him is
He's not you

The problem is
I don't love him
The way I love you,
Or at all for that matter

The problem is
I don't want to
Hug him or kiss him
The way I want to
Hug and kiss you

The problem is
He knows
I'm in love with you
That no matter what
I can't erase how I feel

The problem is
That he doesn't
Match me
Or move me to tears
With his presence
And he doesn't inspire me

The problem with him
And with every man
I will ever meet
Is that *They're not you

I don't dream anymore
I've lost all inspiration
And it all started with
How badly I miss you.

I know how bad
I miss you, I miss
You body, mind
And soul and I
Miss so much
And the aching
Never leaves me.

I miss
The way we
Matched
The way
We were
The same
Height
With the same
Size hands
And lips
That mashed
Perfectly together
I miss
How I climbed on
Top of you
In bed
And my legs
Perfectly
Wrapped around
Your body
I miss you
And how
Well we
Fit together.

I miss your kiss
No others
Will ever compare
I miss your hug
No others
Is as comforting
I miss your skin
No others
Lights mine with such passion
I miss your hands
No others
Matched mine so perfectly
Baby, sweetie, my love
I miss you.

This isn't easy
But life simply isn't
But I fight
And I try
And I wish
That it counted
More than it does
But still
I venture on
Trying
Being as
Happy as I can
Even if
Often i'm not
And dreaming
Because who
Am I without
Hope

I love you
And I miss you
And it hurt so bad
To be dropped
Like that
But I understand
Because I almost
Always understand you
It aches so much
Not to be yours
To be alone
In my fight,
But I suppose
You can't help
Or shouldn't
But every moment
We have spent
Or could've spent
Passes through my mind
And reminds me
Of all the sweet
And tender words
That I'm missing
Right now
And I thought
About using
The word sweetie again
And all I could do
Was cringe
Because thats you,
My baby
My sweetie pie
My best friend
My lover
So I stopped crying
But I'm not happy
And I miss you
And your hugs
And your comfort
But I wait until
You deem me
Okay
And I will
Be waiting.