You


Marrying *you



Being with you forever


Baring a child with you


Falling asleep wrapped close to you


Waking up beside you


Living life fighting happily for *you

Look at me
My tears
My broken heart
Isn't that
Physical
Because my chest
It aches
And the tears wet my face
And I fight
To stop them both
To prove myself
As strong
But it all pushes down
And I seem to get lost
In the bottom
Of a very large bag.

You always said
I was yellow
And you were black
And that you'd
Envelope me
In your world
And I wish
You would
So that we'd be close.

Words that scorch
That yell at me
**Forget your love
Erase the love making
Destroy the desire
That built up
Forget what today
Would've been
Forget the love
That grew and
Tear it down
Like the world
You loved once upon a time
Erase the wound like
It was a just papercut
Instead of a sword
And arrow slicing
Through my chest
Forget all my pain
Like I can flick it away
Just forget the love story
And start over
As if

Tomorrow
Marks another
Lost day
Because I was
No good
Tomorrow
Marks another
Agonizing
Day of misery
Because you were
Suppose to be here
Mouthing I love yous
As you kissed and held
My hand
And I was suppose to
Pretend I was more
And cry looking into
Your wonderful eyes
Tomorrow was
Gonna be a day
For us to be close
And to cherish this
One day
That we got
And now
All it'll be
Is another day
We missed
Because of me.

Your negativity
Always triumphs
Over my barely
Surviving positivity
And yet never
Will it wash away
My never ending love
For hand in hand
We will either smile
Or cry in sadness together
If you go down
I go down too
And if you can smile
Then baby I'll float away
With utter laughter.

My tears,

They
            A
                 L
                    W
                        A
                            Y
                               S

**Return

Here's the simple truth,
No ones voice will ever
Sing to my soul the way
Yours does

Never will another chest
Be as comfortable and warm
To cuddle into as yours

I'll never kiss another set
Of lips and be satisfied
Because if they're not yours
Then those lips don't matter

You are the best advantage
Life has given me,
Even through all the
Mountains and rollercoaster rides
We came out okay,
We came out in love
And that means *everything.

Stretch mark
To stretch mark
From every hill and valley
From every blemish
That sparkle of love
Never faded from your eyes
In the worst light
And in the best
You still saw a woman
Whom you loved
And because of this love
Saw her as beautiful
Despite her flaws
And her thoughts
Of your undeniable attraction
You saw her bare inside and out
And believed she was beautiful
Because she was more than
Just a lover or friend
She was everything you wanted
And so she loved you too
Not because you loved her
Or because you thought of her as beautiful
But because you were honest
Because your soul
Was as beautiful
As you saw her to be
Because even as you frowned
Seeing you made her smile
And in turn she'd cheer you up
She loved you for all you did
Every moment you cared
And every moment she cared back
She loved the way you matched her
In every way humanly possible
She loved you the way you loved her
Always and forever
For you shared a love that was meant to be
A love that would go on beyond all.

I thought about
How we used to make love
Entangled in the magical
Sweat our love created

I thought of us
Cuddled up
Watching a movie

I thought of our picnic
By the water

I thought of all
Of your proposals

I thought of the days
We spent together
Happiness in our hearts

Our only fear being torn apart
And once done
The walls of love
Crumbling our stability

But brick by brick
We built it up

For our love
Could never be crushed

I thought of
Our strength
And our endurance

I thought of the future
That we wanted
And that I desperately desired

My wary soul
So tired from fighting
Wanted peace
And found another battle

But hand in hand
From city to city
State to state
Our love reaches through

And in the end
I believe we will find rest
We will find comfort

So today I thought of you
And all we've been through

Today I thought of
Our love and how special it is
And how I don't want to let go
Or ever love another

Today I thought of your arms
And how all I want
Is to return to them safely.

Same height
Ring size
Hand size
Lips that entwine
So perfectly
We have
So many emotions
And can be stubborn
But when we love
We love with
All that we are
We're stronger than we think
Because we're fighting
Even when we're in tears
And at the end of the day
There's nothing better
Than being in each others arms
So yes I believe
That we're meant to be
But even more
I believe God made us
Meant for each other.

Oh baby don't tell me goodbye
Because I saw It in your eyes
I know you love me
and I know I love you
And if its by Gods will you will see the light You will see how meant to be we are
And He will protect us
When all seems to fall
And He will save us when
We have nothing left at all
And we will get through
Because our love is true
And baby you cant give up our fight
You gotta see the light
We will make it through I believe in us
The way I believe in you
Baby you have to see the light
You have to see how right we are together You have to see that when we're apart Nothing is okay and that together
We can be among Gods fleet
You have to see that there's strength in Numbers and our numbers two
Because there's me and then there's you
Oh baby I need you to see the light
I need you to see that with God by our side Everything's gonna be alright so just give me another shot and
I'll prove to you that I'm worth it
So just give me another chance and I'll never let you down
Baby this is all that I am and all that I'll be And baby I love you
And I know you love me
So let us join hands and let us be free
Lets worry not because He will save us Because we'll be alright as long as He's on our side so baby see the light
And take my hands and we'll be alright and I hope baby dear
I won't just have to wish
To see you in my dreams tonight.

All I wanted was you
All I know is reality
And the reality is
I don't have you
And I feel like
I'm just dust
Being swept away
And the truth is
Too much is changing
Too much is wrong
But baby I'd do anything
To be yours again
Sweetie I'm trying
But that's not good enough
Nothing I do ever is
And I'm fighting here
All alone
Wishing that our love
Didn't keep me running
Around trying to prove myself
I wish I saw the monsters
So I can believe in them
So I can be motivated by them
So I can really fight
So I can yell at their faces
Instead of yelling at an empty room
I wish God answered my prayers
And saved me
I wish I knew if He listened
I wish I knew
If my prayers were answerable
Or that He'd show me
What to do
What's right
Oh sweetie
Why is life so hard
Why are you so worth
A million hard lifetimes to me
I just want the ache to settle
I want to be safe
Baby all I want is you
And this fight is insane
But I'd fight through
And do anything to be
Back with you
My dearest husband
I will find a way
And it will hurt
For all the days
All the months
All the years I'm unsafe
But I want to be back
In those arms
So I'll fight
I'll find a way
Because our love
Is too special
To give up on
So baby will you
Just take my hand in spirit
And guide me on the right path
And I promise to follow.

I want you
I need you baby
I can't pretend
That I'm okay anymore
Please help me
I love you so much
Sweetie it hurts
Please come kiss it better
Sweetie I'm trying
But I can't see the darkness
So how will I know
How will I know baby
Please I need you here
Tell me what to do
And I'll listen
I just don't want to hurt

I love you
And it hurts
Because we can't be
It hurts because my efforts
Aren't helping
I'm heaving and crying
And it doesn't help
My lungs feel like
Their gone now
My heart is just a rock
Of pain and love
Only beating
With hopes
I'm hurting
Because I can't call you mine
Or hold you
Because my fight
Has left me weak
And there is no one here
Protecting me
I'm so alone
I hurt so bad
And all I want
Is your happiness
Even if its not with me
Even if I break
And turn to ash

I don't think I broke
As hard as I did
When I saw those words
His girl
When I realized
You were calling someone else
All the things you called me
When I realized
All those perfect moments we had
Were now being shared with another
When I realized how badly
This all hurts
When I realized how far
You really are
When I realized we won't be
You and me
No matter how I pray
No matter how I beg
No matter how I wish or hope

Your gone
Even if your right here.

You used to laugh
Oh what a glorious laugh it was
You laughed as you told me
What if this, what if I'm just a dream
And somehow I just knew it couldn't be
Because your touch was to real
Your love couldn't be
Created within my subconscious
Because those eyes
And that scar
Were the most vivid things
I know
And I know it wasnt a dream
Because this love
Explodes
From within me
Every moment
And has yet to dim
So sweetie I know your real
I know your heart
It matches mine
Because there are too many
Memories to wipe away
There is too much history
To give up on
So baby I fight for you
I fight for reality
Because if I were dreaming
Things would never get hard
I love you
And I believe you love me
So that is how I know
That us, we are not
And never have been
Just a dream.

I broke down
As the memories
Of the last six years
Passed through my mind
Of all our ups
And even the downs
And I cried
Knowing that there
Is nothing for me to grasp onto
Knowing that to me
You'll always be mine
My baby and sweetie pie
And the last wonderful day
Will always linger in my mind
I cried because I missed you
And because I want you back
I cried knowing I'd have to wait
And that even in waiting
I may never get you
But I sit here crying and reading
And spilling my heart out
No longer blocking off
How I truly feel
No longer holding in my ache
And my tears
No longer stopping my thoughts.