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Addiction is a hard thing to overcome

Especially when it's a person

When the waves of nostalgia wash over me

I can't help but let out a sigh of relief

I relish in the past

In the things I can only scarcely remember

And yet that meant so much to me once

I don't know if it's chemical or I'm just insane

But I still have to peel myself away from those memories

Stop myself from reaching out

Because there's no turning back from the next hit and I refuse to start again

I refuse to let myself be broken by another person again.
I still pine
       for what I’ve lost
               the promise and
                               fulfillment.

I still search my memory
                for hidden fragments
                                 of that treasure.

     Time has covered
                some of them in
                            shadows of nostalgia.

     But the flaming pain
                        still brightly burns and
                                      tears will not extinguish it.
                        ljm
Sometimes I feel like a broken record.  Healing much too slowly.
How do I tell you

That you broke my heart

That you shattered me so completely

That I thought about hurting myself


That you made me hate myself.
I feel like I've been living in a glass box all this time

And you just threw every rock you could find.

I'm bleeding.

The glass is shattered.

I don't know if the box can be rebuilt.
  Oct 2022 Victoria Jennings
Teemers
I only write,
when
I am in love
or
Falling apart.
You know what's really unfair?

You f$cked me like you loved me

And I tried to f$ck you like I loved you,

Endlessly.
When I'm sad I think about you

As though that makes me feel better

Instead I'm left feeling more empty

When I'm sad I put on music

Only to skip to the sad songs

When I'm sad I stay sad for days

And I wonder if sometimes
I just like being sad.
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