Sometimes I wonder

What would happen if we were in an empty room together?

Would you make a move?

Would I?

Would we act like the air didn't sizzle with anticipation?

I just wonder.

In an instance her body was no longer hers

It was theirs

Wandering hands

Touching without consent

While she sat stunned

By such carelessness

Such boldness and fearlessness

You thought you could have her

Thought what you did didn't matter

But for her

She'll never forget

Your hands

Your breath on her skin

And the look in your eyes

As she searched and begged

For a soul to ring back

Only to be answered by darkness.

My life has built me to associate love with pain

It's like they're bound together

Forever bittersweet.

That feeling when you miss them
And their absence feels like your soul being ripped right out of your chest

That feeling when they look at you, just look

It's that feeling when they say they love you

And they say they always will
And you let yourself believe that

It's when you're so deluded
That you believe so fully
That this was your first and last love

In time
You see young love for what it is

A once in a lifetime experience
It cannot be repeated

You cannot love that fiercely ever again
But that also means you can never break that hard either.

Everything about love is bittersweet
But young love?
That's like biting in dark chocolate
When you were expecting milk.

I wonder if you ever listen to our song just so you can let yourself ache for a story that's over.

Your arms
Are just perfect to crawl into

And your warm kisses
Just right after a long day

And maybe that's all I'll ever need

I promise I don't want you

Because I know being with you is poisonous

I know being with you has always been temporary

You're good at leaving

Even better at pushing away

But every memory comes rushing back when I see your picture

And my chest still aches
When I reread messages

And even more when I read old poems about you

You were
Nine years

Nine long years of love and friendship and heartbreak

And most days I'm okay
But every once in a while
I wish I could erase you.