Victoria Jennings

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Do you ever just make a wish
Whether on a star, a time, or any other thing
And have this part of you truly believe
It will come true?

You were that wish </3

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Wrong signs

You hugged me every time I walked through the door

We held each other on the couch

We made love in nearly every room

You kissed my cheek almost every time

You accidentally called me beautiful
Or at least now I believe it was an accident

I washed your dishes

We ordered food
Watched movies together

Laid on the floor staring at each other

Laughed together

Smiled

You called me "babe" on accident each visit

I held in "I love you" a million times

You kissed me randomly

Let me rub your back and run my hands through your hair the way I know you love

You cuddled up to me so much

I slept in your bed

I slept in your arms

But whenever the end would come

A switch went off and I was lucky to get a hug goodbye

Never really got kisses goodbye

I should have known from that

But I hoped so much all those little things meant something

Meant I meant something

But I guess everyone's wrong sometimes.

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Cursed Generation

I don't know the monster who poisoned the well of loyalty

But I do know he deserves a cruel death.

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Untitled

There was a love in her heart
No one could ever quite understand
Not even herself
And each day she lived
She wish she didn't love
Didn't love a man who either;
Couldn't love her back,
Or did not exist,
Or who claimed to love her and broke her

There was a love bestowed upon her
It's been there since birth
And she's never quite known why

She's never known just what to do
And she is so tired of crying
Because a love like that hurts so **** bad

She's hoping one day her love
Will finally be cherished
Finally be shared
But for now
She lays awake
Dreaming beautiful daydreams
Because she can control those for the most part
It's the dreams she has when she closes her eyes
That cause the most fear
Because what if,
What if they come true
And she never gets the love she needs.

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Just my luck

Rip out this love

Rip it out this instance

RIP IT OUT

I can't bare knowing it'll never be returned.

Victoria Jennings May 2017

Snapping vines

One step forward
Two steps back

That's how it is to try moving on

You can't forget first love

You can never truly stop loving them

So I wasn't your first

I couldn't be

Here I stand thinking about a life,
A life alone, a life without you,

And in those thoughts
All I want is your hug

You're like vines
Beautiful life
And yet they can trip you
They can hurt if used as a weapon

You were always the strongest weapon
It was so easy for you to break me.

Eternal forgiveness my love.

Victoria Jennings May 2017

I Hope You Read This

Joshua, I'm gonna live my life. I'm gonna save and make a life for myself. I'm gonna travel to Canada and maybe down south and find a man with a accent that makes me smile every time he calls me beautiful. I'm gonna make mistakes and I'm gonna learn to forgive myself for them. I'm gonna accept that I will always love you. But more than that I will accept that you will never love me back. I will accept the heartbreak and the pain because it's in the past now. And yes I will cry myself to sleep sometimes and I know I'll be lonely sometimes but I will learn to love myself. I will learn to smile more. I will learn to trust again. I want to be happy. I want to live my life even on the days I say I want to die. I will accept what does or does not happen and I will be happy with whatever life gives me. I'm always going to forgive but I will never forget. I hope you're happy. I hope you get to smile every day for the rest of your life. I hope you find a love as strong as the one I feel for you. I hope you get everything you want from life. I hope one day you see just how amazing you are even if you're not always perfect you were perfect to me. And you'll be perfect for the girl you end up with. Live your life the way you want Joshua. Never let anyone or anything hold you back from what you want. I've done that for too long and I won't anymore. Thank you. Thank you for being my first kiss. My first love. My first lover. My friend. Thank you for showing me true happiness even if it showed me true pain too. Thank you for being you, crazy, amazing you. Maybe in another life you could have chosen me. Maybe. A girl can always dream.