all we
have
is now

0:00               beginning
1:30               i met you
2:40               "i love you"
3:50               you left me
4:61               come back

behind the masks,
faces suffer loneliness

one day there isn't going to be any room to bury anyone anymore

YOU
NEVER
WALK
ALONE

​
we’d keep all our promises,

be us against the world

you've always hated coffee
i knew i was a coffee addict
but that's not all i got addicted to

you're so distant.
why are you leaving so early?
you look awful.
why are you so depressed?
you sound down.
what's wrong with you today?
cheer up dude.
tell me, what's the matter?
you look so out of it.
did you get no sleep last night?

i'm just really tired.

what little light that’s left, we need to keep it sacred
i know that you’re afraid to let all the dark escape you
but we can let the light illuminate these hopeless places.

'i'm fine'

he loves me not

what if i feel like this for the rest of my life?

the night is fractured
   and they shiver,   blue,
those stars,
       in the distance.

together

but not

feeling sleepy and sad and weak and dreaming about the stars

and the more I drink the more I think about you

​
Anthony, my friend, what really happened to you? How could you have let your wife Anna die so awfully? These doubts consume my soul. I hardly remember the time we spent together as school mates. I confess that beyond your enduring friendship I can recall little of those years. Were your words a result of an increasing loss of sanity? In your letter, you wrote that someone awaits me. A warning, toward me from genuine danger or merely the ravings of a brilliant mind addled by insanity? Something stirs uneasily within my heart. I will not rest easily again until… I go back to that boarding school and find out what secrets may lie within. Farewell Mr. and Mrs. Beechworth, rest now in peace.

i should stop thinking about you
your hair
skin
eyes
smile
laugh
voice
and what you'd probably feel like wrapped
around me at night  but i think i've grown
too used to the constant stomach ache
and the 3 am tears to do that.

"who hurt you?"

                                                                                                                      "me."

another



                                     sinking





                                                                                        *feeling

​
pain gets hard,
     but now you’re here
         and i don’t feel a thing

it’s hard to wake up
from a nightmare
if you aren’t even
asleep

and the trees are sentinels
of something, standing
there between the buildings
breathing like horses
all night

they told me
i was too young
to let the world
break me

i told them
i was too young
to stop the world
from breaking me

physically i am fine

emotionally i am bruised

am i in love with you?
or am i in love with this feeling?

didn’t think it would happen again
but here i am
regretting all the friends I’ve made
after everything ive done

I shut myself down
I have no motivation for anything
I tell myself that nobody cares
even though I know some do

we always sat
next to each other because
our names started with
the same letter, f.  

sitting on the F line,
legs crossed,
sitting on the floor,
counting the minutes as they passed by
and talking about how life was going.

you talked about your friends,
how well you were fitting in,
how much fun you were having.

i like the way you always cheer me up,
even when i have a bad day,
you manage to put a smile to my face.

you had me fall ing for you,
day by day, minutes by minute,
i was falling way too quickly.

i guess that's why your last name is
Falls.

i breathe in and then i breathe out,
i got a trillion doubts, and that's fine.
i took a road that wasn't a road, but
it was something i chose and that's fine.

take your guess, spurious at best,
can't you see it's all just

                                          *chaos?

why do i try so hard for someone
who will never care?  because
if you haven't noticed by now,
i am completely in love with you
yet, you don't even spare me a
passing glance

tonight i am sad
tonight i am lonely
the demons are screaming
and i need you to hold me

which one do you choose?

the person you love unconditionally,
but they may never feel the same.

                          or

the person who unconditionally loves you,
but you may never feel the same.

time is slipping through your fingers
as you run away from your demons
while reaching toward the orb of light
in the distance, surrounded by dark,
mysterious spirit of the darkness from
within. i gasp for air as the walls start
to lessen the gap between each other.

the walls close in as i whisper my last
words,


"why?"

​
if i showed you my teardrops
would you collect them like rain
store them in jars,
that are labelled with “pain”
would you follow their tracks
from my eyes down my cheeks
as they write all their stories
I’m too scared to speak,
would you stop them with kisses
bring their flow to a halt
as you teach me that pain
isn’t always my fault
would you hold my face gently
as you dry both eyes
and whisper the words
“you’re too precious to cry”
if i should you my teardrops
would you show me your own,
and learn though we’re lonely,
we’re never alone.

i lie on the wet grass as i pick at the flower petals
he loves me
your loving eyes stare back at me as i gaze back into your eyes
he loves me not
you yelled at me saying that i wasn't perfect
he loves me
your sweet words always cheered me up
he loves me not
you told me to stop seeing you
he loves me
you told me you loved me
he loves me not
you said it was all a game
he loves me
you promised me you would never leave

he loves me not
*you left saying you would be back

​
you said you’d always be here