​
Cold air clings to my throat as I grit my teeth against the wind. Snow silently tumbles from a sky as bitter and blackened as my very soul.

​
we’re running on fumes but
we’ll make it through the night

​
its not much but its better than nothing
its not love but its better than dreaming

​
you were never really here

​
i keep drowning
i keep going down

​
I am drowning.
In liquor and apathy.
Will be the death of me.
But so what if I drank too much.
This ain't love, it's just a firefight.
And even if it's not enough.
I'll say it once I swear I never lied.

​
too much self hate
too little self control

​
i never meant to start a war
i never meant to make you bleed
i never meant to hurt you
i never meant to start a fire
i never meant to make you cry

​
you know something? nobody ever does anything to be nice. they always want to get something out of it.

​
i was such a good little boy, right?
                  *with such potential, wasn’t that it?

between man and woman
man and man
woman and woman

it's the same love

​
a woman’s heart is a deep ocean full of secrets

​
i tried to wash you away
but you just won’t leave

​
i don’t want to be vulnerable
and i swore i would never be
but then you noticed me
-

​
tomorrow is just a dream away

​
its all just a facade
just a cover
just a mask
to hide behind
while the real me
the true me
hides, cowers back
avoiding reality
the real world
the cruel world
trying not to get hurt
i hide behind words
and bury my feelings
-

​
you don’t even see me
you hardly respond
when i whisper
hello
could be my soul mate
two kindred spirits
maybe we’re not
i guess we’ll never
know
my own mother you carried me in you
now you see nothing but what i wear
people asks you how am i doing
you smile and nod
don’t let it end there
put me underneath God’s sky and
know me
don’t just see me with your eyes
take away
this mask of flesh and bone and
see me
for my soul
alone.

​
i hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
i hate the way you drive my car,
i hate it when you stare.
i hate the your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
i hate it…i hate the way you’re always right,
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
but mostly i hate the way i don’t hate you,
not even close,
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

​
beautiful to cut
her skin.
she said that
i am too
beautiful for
lung cancer.
this is my last
pack.

fall in love with the person who made you believe in soul mates when you had no hope there was anyone in this world who was right for you.

sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
were laid, spread out before me as her body once did
all five horizons revolved around her soul
as the earth to the sun
now the air i tasted and breathed has taken a turn
oh, and all i taught her was everything
oh, i know she gave me all that she wore
and now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
of what was everything
oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything
i take a walk outside
I’m surrounded by some kids at play
i can feel their laughter, so why do i sneer

​
i hated poetry until someone
showed me how to appreciate it.
he told me to see poetry as a puzzle.
it’s up to the reader to decipher the code,
or the words, based on everything they
know about life and emotions.

​
my mind is like a
hurricane of letters,
words, phrases.

words tumble
together and
make thoughts,
continuous thoughts
and mixed feelings.

mixed feelings about
myself, life, and death.

love dies out

​
kiss me on the mouth,
and set me free,
sing me like a choir,
i can be the subject,
in your dreams.
a sickening desire,
dont you wanna see,
a man up close.
a phoenix in the fire.
kiss me on the mouth,
and set me free,
please don't bite.

​
-
i love the creases that your forehead makes when you throw your head back in laughter and joy. the crinkles in your eyes when you smile.

​
MY HATRED FOR YOU
IS SO DEEP
DEEPER THAN ANY TRENCH
THAT LIES BENEATH THE
RAGING OCEAN
THAT I CALL MY MIND
I WILL ALWAYS RAGE ON
EVEN WHEN THE WORST
OF HURRICANES COME
NOTHING WILL DESTROY
THIS RAGE AND HATRED
*I HOLD INSIDE

​
months came
and months went
i felt exhausted
tired
sad
it was like i was suffocating,
like i couldn’t breathe
like the walls were caving in on me
i was giving up
and I’m sorry
because i gave up on everyone else as well
i miss myself
i miss smiling
i miss being happy
i miss loving you
i miss loving anything that isn’t sleep
i miss being me

​
how can you say you know me
when you’ve only seen my skin
and not the untamed world i hide
thats growing deep within
you haven’t heard my ribs all creak
behind each plaited vine
or swum beneath the waterfall
that cascades down my spine
you’ve not been here for long enough
to watch a new life start
or find the run-down cattle
lying just inside my heart
you haven’t climbed the branches
that are wrapped around each lung
swaying with the breezes
that come dancing past my tongue
don’t mark me with your footprints
if you plan to leave soon
and only want to know me
when my plants are in bloom
because the birdsong might be pretty
but its not for you they sing
and if you don’t think my winter is too cold
you don’t deserve my spring

​
The treacherous hearts of our kind, desperate to seek for a familiar sense of companionship.
The world is painful, it’s sad and overpowering.
“A voice to voice one’s voice is a voice in its self.”

i think i lost my mind awhile ago

​
AND I PROMISED
MYSELF I WOULDN’T
LET YOU COMPLETE ME


IM TRYING NOT TO LET
IT SHOW, THAT I DON’T
*WANT TO LET THIS GO

​
i saw this girl next to me who wasn’t beautiful until she smiled

​
i am hopelessly in love with a memory. an echo from another time, another place.

i fell in love next to you

​
ive fallen for your eyes

​
why i like rain
and how i can
relate and why
its comforting
when its raining
tea and a novel
to read while
covered in warm
blankets

​
do you hear my screams?

​
Rain pattered as if they were tap-dancing on the cool glass window. Dancing with one another as they kept a steady beat.

would you

stay now

and let me hold you

i
close my eyes to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings

​
And I’m ready to jump, I’m ready to swing.

tell me it's okay

you know i would be lost

without you