Her bad mood
Tries to intrude
On conversation,
On laughter

Her lack of power
Compels her to cower
Behind a false sense
Of tyrannical control

Her own home and head
Never gave sanctuary; instead
They fostered hostility
And made her feel blind

Blind when searching for
Places with an open door
With a place to lie down
And to quiet all sound

She’s fighting herself inside
Can’t say she never tried
When the battle leaves her mind
And infects the entire family line

My bad mood
Tends to intrude
On conversation,
On laughter

And I’m sorry
But I learned it from you

In 6 years time
I’ll be out of my mind
Not crazy, just free
That’s who I thought I’d be

But it’s 6 years now
And I’m stepping out
My peace was put on hold
To destroy the lives I loved

It was like a nightmare wrapped in a dream
It was like a coma where I acted out things
Took a hit into a reality
That no one else was living

And now I’ve come out
I don’t want to go back in
But I’m sure the pain I felt then
Is nothing like it is

Take a break, run the shower
Dunk my head and close my ears
Hear the rumble of water dropping
Around me and on my skin

I don’t care it’s a weird place to go
But I let myself be simple
A koi fish in a pond
While the rain pours on

I can’t ask the question
Why’d this happen to me
Because why not, I guess
But it still feels like a cheat

It was like a jump from a skyscraper
That building is so tall
I didn’t know the long fall
I didn’t know the long fall

It felt like control
From someone that’s not my own
But the mess that was made
Is mine and mine alone

Mine and mine alone