It's said that people fall out of love
For the same reasons they fell in love
All the things I love about you
May someday make me despise you

breathe in
breathe out
inhale doses of cold
exhale pieces of soul
watch
as soul blends
with translucent fog
becomes one
with the water
hanging in the air

there is no more night
there is no more day
there is nothing
but misty grey
and breathing in
and breathing out
and becoming one
with the water
hanging in the air

to drift through the cold
suspended alongside
water molecules
slowly breathing away
soul
slowly sinking into
oblivion
to simply breathe in
and to simply breathe out
and to call this...

grounding?

i will not* cut myself down just because
my prosperity makes you uncomfortable.
i will not shrink myself for
someone who refuses to grow.
i am a garden of spirit and life.
i will not apologize if
you would prefer a desert.

how did we go
from popsicle-stained tongues
to ink-stained hands
to blood-stained tiles?
where did we go wrong?

You can not focus,
Your mind is dull,
Overcome by the dreary pain
setting into your skull.

You close your eyes,
You rest your head,
You take a pill to ****
the pain that you dread.
...

My demons scream,
My soul it cries,
As darkness creeps through
my dying mind.

I hurt myself,
I cry "Help me!",
I'm waging a war that
no one can see.

What a headache is to you
is not what a headache is to me.

Hello, my  name is Life.
People used to all love me.
That was before all the wars.
That was when people lived in peace.

Soon, I was not so popular
People didn't enjoy my company
That was when people would turn on each other
That was when they took each other away from me

Now, nobody likes me
Now, I'm an inconvinience
Now, people leave me before their time
Now, people try to shut me out

"see? no cuts."
please don't look into my eyes.
there's nothing on my wrists
but you never check my thighs.
my skin is like a canvas
and i just can't help myself
my razors are my paintbrushes
"no, i don't need help."
*i love all of my paintings
i love the way it feels
when porcelain skin
is met with stainless steel

I don't want to live like this tomorrow
So I need to stop living like this today
I need some ones to help me escape this sorrow
So I need you to help me find my way

I can't fight without you here beside me
So fight this battle with me help me win
I feel like a hero when you're with me
So help me take back my life again

I-I don't fit in here
but it's not my fault
I-I don't fit your mould
but I guess I'm evil by default

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

I tried to cut myself down
trim away the rough edges
but I grew back sharper and stronger
broke the mould that they thought was so precious

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

icy water looks almost inviting
compared to what I'm leaving behind me
there's really no point in fighting
what's already been decided

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

It's a long higway.
It's a hard one to drive down.
I've got miles to go before I'm home.
Can you blame me for speeding?

when the first fire started to die,
man did not know how to save it.
if they touched it it burned them,
so it's heat and it's light
faded away.

i feel the way that dying flame felt:
helpless,
flickering out of existence
those around powerless to save me
without being burned.

Humans. Evil by nature, killers by choice.
Caring only for themselves, and not taking a second to consider another.
Thinking that they deserve more than everyone else.
They **** first, ask questions later.
They tear eachothers lives apart.
They trampeled everything I held dear and tore my dreams to shreds with words.
They embody everything I despise.
Yet, I am trapped inside of one.

Surrounding me was a hurricane
of pain, sadness, and anger.
There I stood, trapped in the eye,
engulfed in numbness, emptiness, and static.
My only escape was through the torrent of agony around me.

Many times, I tried to escape that silent sea of grey by fighting my way through the walls of my prison, hoping against hope to break through and find joy on the other side,
But I became lost in the raging torment and was forced to return to my cell.

Many times, simply wanting to feel something other than the dullness that had become my reality, I grit my teeth, and force myself into the swirling void of misery, to feel pain once more. Until the torture was unbearable and I retreated to the emotionless abyss.
I needed the pain to remind me that I was still alive.

Many times, when the pace of the traveling storm quickened, I was forced to run to remain within the calm nothingness, but I continued to trip and fall back into the darkness and pain until I could regain my step.
Then, I pressed on, at the mercy of the unforgiving cyclone.

I lived like this for what seemed like an eternity.
Until one day.

The wind slowed, slightly, I saw a beam of light for a fraction of a fraction of a second.
It was gone all too soon, and now I am left to constanly search my heart and mind for that one thing that may calm this storm and free me from

my prison,

my hurricane.

i had never been the one to love more.
i had always just been picked up,
                                        swept along.
                                                            and i liked it that way.
now i'm the one doing the sweeping.
     not sweeping anyone along, though.
            sweeping everything under the rug.
   love, heartbreak, tears, aching, anger, loneliness, longing...

I fell in love with you,
first with your soul,
then with everything else,
because everything else
was a part of your soul,
the way your eyes sparkled,
the way you laughed and smiled,
the way you spoke what you felt in your heart,
the way you felt both joy and pain so deeply,
you showed me your faults,
you accepted mine,
you made sure I was okay,
you helped me when I wasn't,
you showed me things you were passionate about,
you made me laugh when I was sad,
you were honest,
you were real,
you were you.
All that you were,
all that you did,
was a part of your soul,
with which I fell in love.

greedy executives will feel no shame when they count their coins
handed over from the wallets
of dying people
with brittle nails
ashen skin
dark circles
hoping that a few more dollars
will make them feel pretty

is it my fault that you left?
did you leave because you felt like it?
because i wasn't enough?
because you wanted to hurt me?
because you needed someone else?
or were you never there to begin with?

the moon turned her back on the world
she plunged us all into darkness
and the clouds began to bleed
and their blood rained down
and soaked into the dying city
and the city-
it moved
it changed
the city,
fed by the blood of the clouds
began to breathe
began to scream-
began to tingle,
buzz,
burn.
as the clouds breathed their dying breaths,
the flames of the city licked the sky,
and when the clouds bled out,
the city burned out.

"Are you okay? You look sad."
"I'm fine, I'm just tired."
Tired of feeling empty,
tired of feeling alone,
tired of hating myself,
tired of hurting myself,
tired of crying,
tired of dying,
tired of faking,
tired of breaking,
tired of sinking,
tired of falling,
tired of darkness,
tired of numbness,
tired of wanting this all to end.

But I'm fine.
I'm just tired.

when the wind falls back
dies down
the fire burns brighter
the flames sting again
but burning
is better than darkness
the inferno
is favorable over the abyss

When she told me she loved you, I saw a light in her eyes.
I know you don't feel that way about her,
But if she finds out, she'll be crushed.
I want to feel happy for her, when she says she's in love.
So, please, can you try to love her.

I stopped fighting to breathe. Now I'm just letting myself drown.
I stopped fighting for love. Now  I'm just shutting people out.
I stopped fighting the pain. Now I'm just letting sadness consume me.
I stopped fighting my demons. Now we're on the same side.

nothing could take the pain away
so nothing became my relief
nothing became my morphine
of all of my vices
nothing had the strongest grip
sweet sweet nothing

i didn't understand
how the emotions of
love and hate
could be so close
to each other...
and then i met you <3

they opened their lips
and out flowed poetry.
their intoxicating words
blinded me and drew me
to them, in the same way
a light draws a moth:
senseless, longing, entranced...

row
upon row
upon row
of books
books with glossy covers
books with broken spines
books with smudged ink
books with missing pages
some have been opened only once
some are too tedious to bother with
some have been forgotten in corners
some are constantly reread
and those ones always seem to be
the ones filled with pain and regret
for some reason they're irresistible
but they hurt to read
so why are those the ones
that are opened the most?

hand in hand you stood.
eyes to eyes you stared.
soul to soul you stopped.
for only a moment.
that's when you looked.
that's when you saw.
hidden behind her eyes,
those bright shades
seemed so dark.
without moving,
you leaned forward,
you stepped inside her eyes
to see what you could find.
through the gates,
into her mind,
and what a mind it was.
it went on and on and on,
from what you could tell.
it was filled with wonders
that you couldn't see.
this endless land behind her eyes
did not have
a single ray of light.

since then, whenever you could,
you would reach into her eyes
and fumble in the darkness of her mind,
grasping blindly
for a light switch.

Perfect, imperfect lines,
Etched into already stinging skin,
New, bleeding lines,
Where the old ones are starting to fade,
Deep, red lines,
Never letting scarred skin truly heal,
Uniform, horizontal lines,
Each with a reason.

Each red line will fade to pink
Be replaced by new ones
But once a line is made
It never truly leaves.

sometimes little things
can be big things
wearing a short sleeved shirt
can be a big thing

there was a boy who ran with the wolves
there was a boy who flew with the birds
and their worlds were just far enough apart
for everyone to know what happens next

there was a girl who was afraid to fly
there was a girl who was afraid to fall
an exposition just tragic enough
for everyone to mourn their dilemma

there was a poet who loved to dream
there was a poet who longed to sleep
a pairing, it seemed to all
to be as obvious as day and night

why am i so proud of these stupid cuts?
why am i so ashamed of these stupid cuts?
they don't mean anything.
i guess they used too.
now they're just there.
now all they mean is i have to wear long sleeves.

there's no such thing as cool kids
no one really knows what's right
diamonds are just rocks
dark is just absence of light
love cannot be proven
wars are never really won
people are just atoms
just like lilies, stones, and suns.

Monsters are real.
But they don't live in our closets, or under our beds.
They live inside of us.
Sometimes they win.
Don't let your monsters win.

I know that you're made of alot of broken pieces,
Just like a mosaic.
Mosaics are beautiful and colorful,
Just like you.

This is my heart.
Right now, it's empty.
If you can fill it, you can have it.
If you take good care of it, then keep it.
But if you don't want it, you can throw it away.
I don't need it anymore.

After I die, I will remain-
Still on Earth,
but even more powerless than before.
And I will see those I love
fall to pieces,
powerless to help them.
I will stand by,
a ghost,
and watch the mess I left in my wake.
I will see what I love
destroyed
in the worst possible way-
From the inside out.
My Personal Hell.

whispering that i'm all alone
but never leaving me alone

is my real problem how much i need your adoration, or how hard pressed i am to find it these days?

we exchanged the ringing in each others ears
wrote empty vows deep in each others hearts
the world spun faster, faster until it disappeared
"until december do us part"
"until december do us part"

why does everyone hate the blood in their veins?
they'll drain it from their wrists
replace it
with morphine
with liquor
do you hate living?
or do you just love bleeding?
do you just love replacing
sustenance with poison?

i don't get it.
you care when i cry,
but never when i bleed.

telling those brightly colored lies over
and over again
never makes them true.
it just wears away at the coat of paint.
too bad.
the shade of ******* suits you.

crumbled under pressure of trouble
reborn from ashes and rubble
creation brings about destruction
destruction brings about creation
day is born from night
dark turns from light

creatures made of skin and bone
were meant for wars of sticks and stones
when flesh is forced into the deep
it's soul retreats and falls asleep
and hides from what it cannot believe
from wars of fire and sky and sea
i wasn't meant to walk this path
will you face the darkness' wrath
for me?

I'm sorry I left so soon.
I wasn't planning on it.
It just happened without warning.
I'll miss you.
But don't worry, we'll see each other again some day.
I'm here if you want to talk, I just won't respond.
I'd talk to you if I weren't busy pushing up daisies.