breathe in
breathe out
inhale doses of cold
exhale pieces of soul
watch
as soul blends
with translucent fog
becomes one
with the water
hanging in the air

there is no more night
there is no more day
there is nothing
but misty grey
and breathing in
and breathing out
and becoming one
with the water
hanging in the air

to drift through the cold
suspended alongside
water molecules
slowly breathing away
soul
slowly sinking into
oblivion
to simply breathe in
and to simply breathe out
and to call this...

grounding?

I know that you're made of alot of broken pieces,
Just like a mosaic.
Mosaics are beautiful and colorful,
Just like you.

She's trying to **** me.
She's my biggest enemy.
She makes me feel worthless.
She makes me feel alone.

She chases away my friends.
Now it's just me and her.
I can't escape from her.
That's because she is me.

is my real problem how much i need your adoration, or how hard pressed i am to find it these days?

My life was stuck in greyscale
Until you came along
With beautiful watercolors.
You painted the skies
With amethyst and sapphire
With coral and azure.
You painted the autumn trees,
With amber and titian
With hazel and maroon.
You flooded the dark oceans
With turquoise and navy.
You sprinkled the grey mountains
With shimmers of flaxen sunlight.
My entire life exploded
Into an exquisite rainbow.

And then you left.
And the radiant world
You had painted for me
Slowly faded
Back into anaemic dust and gloom.

sit back relax
focus on the sound of your breathing
sit back relax
breathe in breathe out
county hospitals aren't much to look at
but you gotta love the view of the city
sit back relax
sit back relax

there's not much to do until the shock sets in
not much to say
not much to do
so just sit there fidget with the hem of your shirt
'til the shock sets in
'til the shock sets in
relax your eyes let the view out the window blur
'til the shock sets in

sit back relax
focus on the sound of your breathing
sit back relax
breathe in breathe out
county hospitals aren't much to look at
but you gotta love the view of the city
sit back relax
sit back relax

okay it's morning now, anxiety turns to boredom
not much to say
and no one to talk to
so try not to focus on how much your head hurts
just try to breath
just try to be
just try to focus on the beat of your heart
just try to be

sit back relax
focus on the sound of your breathing
sit back relax
breathe in breathe out
county hospitals aren't much to look at
but you gotta love the view of the city
sit back relax
sit back relax

maybe they'll let you go home
or they'll send you somewhere else
but for now
sit back relax

I'm sorry I left so soon.
I wasn't planning on it.
It just happened without warning.
I'll miss you.
But don't worry, we'll see each other again some day.
I'm here if you want to talk, I just won't respond.
I'd talk to you if I weren't busy pushing up daisies.

you float among waves
i float among stars
show me the oceans
i'll take you to mars
we can follow the sunset
because this world is ours
in a wave of emotion
we'll forget about scars
i'll show you my mind
though it is quite bizarre
i'll hold on to your words
like fireflies in a jar

why do you wait until i've fallen
to try to hold me up?
why to you wait until i'm broken
to try to hold me together?
why do you only meet my eyes
when they're swollen and red?
is that when i'm worth noticing,
when my heart is all but dead?

Monsters are real.
But they don't live in our closets, or under our beds.
They live inside of us.
Sometimes they win.
Don't let your monsters win.

Hello, my  name is Life.
People used to all love me.
That was before all the wars.
That was when people lived in peace.

Soon, I was not so popular
People didn't enjoy my company
That was when people would turn on each other
That was when they took each other away from me

Now, nobody likes me
Now, I'm an inconvinience
Now, people leave me before their time
Now, people try to shut me out

there's  something
something in the stars
something in the trees
something in the oceans
something out there
out there among the mountains
out there among the rivers
out there among the canyons
something within me
within my bones
within my blood
within my soul
is it you?

that cat came back again
i had almost forgotten about him
he scratched me up again

why am i so proud of these stupid cuts?
why am i so ashamed of these stupid cuts?
they don't mean anything.
i guess they used too.
now they're just there.
now all they mean is i have to wear long sleeves.

I-I don't fit in here
but it's not my fault
I-I don't fit your mould
but I guess I'm evil by default

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

I tried to cut myself down
trim away the rough edges
but I grew back sharper and stronger
broke the mould that they thought was so precious

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

icy water looks almost inviting
compared to what I'm leaving behind me
there's really no point in fighting
what's already been decided

so send me down to the river
see if your suspicions are true
they think i can't drown
but they don't care if i do
it doesn't really matter
'cause in their twisted view
I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong

It's said that people fall out of love
For the same reasons they fell in love
All the things I love about you
May someday make me despise you

I stopped fighting to breathe. Now I'm just letting myself drown.
I stopped fighting for love. Now  I'm just shutting people out.
I stopped fighting the pain. Now I'm just letting sadness consume me.
I stopped fighting my demons. Now we're on the same side.

It's a long higway.
It's a hard one to drive down.
I've got miles to go before I'm home.
Can you blame me for speeding?

You were my salvation
You were my sheild
You were the one who helped me see
I never believed in angels until you believed in me

Most people see the world in black and white
They don't even know what color is
Thats because they don't try to see color
They close up their minds and turn the world into greyscale
But if you let yourself think
If you let yourself feel
You can see a whole world full of color

she sensed a venom in her blood
slowly killing her heartbeat.
she knew she had to fix it.
she thought that the only way
to rid her flesh of this toxin
was to cut it out.
she tried.
she failed.
she learned to live with poisoned blood
and a dead heart.

i guess she got under my skin
and i tried to cut her out
maybe by the time i wake up
i'll have bled her out of my system

greedy executives will feel no shame when they count their coins
handed over from the wallets
of dying people
with brittle nails
ashen skin
dark circles
hoping that a few more dollars
will make them feel pretty

I fell in love with you,
first with your soul,
then with everything else,
because everything else
was a part of your soul,
the way your eyes sparkled,
the way you laughed and smiled,
the way you spoke what you felt in your heart,
the way you felt both joy and pain so deeply,
you showed me your faults,
you accepted mine,
you made sure I was okay,
you helped me when I wasn't,
you showed me things you were passionate about,
you made me laugh when I was sad,
you were honest,
you were real,
you were you.
All that you were,
all that you did,
was a part of your soul,
with which I fell in love.

how is it that something can still mean
nothing?
how is it that nothing could still mean
something?
and how can the nothing that means something be the same nothing as the something
that means
nothing?

he's got a vice grip on my soul
and his icy breath chills me to the bone
he's got me stuck playing the same old role
and living in a place that's not my home

the accuser's got a plan for me tonight
and right now he's got me in his sights
he's taking his time drowning me in shame
now he's gonna make me forget my name

you can't decide who you are
you can't tell people how you feel
you can't motivate yourself to do ****
you cant stop destroying yourself
you can't see the good in things
you can't make your words sound nice
you can't do anything
and it's all your fault

the moon turned her back on the world
she plunged us all into darkness
and the clouds began to bleed
and their blood rained down
and soaked into the dying city
and the city-
it moved
it changed
the city,
fed by the blood of the clouds
began to breathe
began to scream-
began to tingle,
buzz,
burn.
as the clouds breathed their dying breaths,
the flames of the city licked the sky,
and when the clouds bled out,
the city burned out.

there was a boy who ran with the wolves
there was a boy who flew with the birds
and their worlds were just far enough apart
for everyone to know what happens next

there was a girl who was afraid to fly
there was a girl who was afraid to fall
an exposition just tragic enough
for everyone to mourn their dilemma

there was a poet who loved to dream
there was a poet who longed to sleep
a pairing, it seemed to all
to be as obvious as day and night

whether it's a jagged gasp
between sheets
of a queen sized bed,
perfect handwritten letters
between sheets
of notebook paper,
the words
"i love you"
don't mean anything
to him anymore.

i didn't understand
how the emotions of
love and hate
could be so close
to each other...
and then i met you <3

i feel so small
when i'm on my own,
when i'm falling apart,
when i'm melting down.
it's terrible.                                i feel so small
                                                   when i'm with you,
                                                   when you hold me together,
                                                   when i melt into your arms.
                                                   it's wonderful.

how did we go
from popsicle-stained tongues
to ink-stained hands
to blood-stained tiles?
where did we go wrong?

your words were a pill that i knew i had to take-
a pill that was impossible to swallow.
i just held the pill inside my mouth
until the coating dissolved
and i was left with the bitter taste of those words.

i'm becoming less interesting.
the world is noticing
& so are you.

you seem to underestimate
the amount of hurt
the amount of hate
the amount of sorrow
that it takes
to hold up a razor
a lighter
to skin
to turn against instinct
self-preservation
in favor of pain
self-harm

telling those brightly colored lies over
and over again
never makes them true.
it just wears away at the coat of paint.
too bad.
the shade of ******* suits you.

when every white rose
starts to bleed red
sane becomes a bore
the nonsensical feels right
the cheshire grin at night
isn't alarming anymore

when mercury becomes
one with your blood
the hatter makes more sense
broken watches seem exact
fairy tales become fact
your mind is your only defense

when every head case
every basket case
makes you feel safe
maybe it's time to stop
pretending to belong
in the world of the sane

creatures made of skin and bone
were meant for wars of sticks and stones
when flesh is forced into the deep
it's soul retreats and falls asleep
and hides from what it cannot believe
from wars of fire and sky and sea
i wasn't meant to walk this path
will you face the darkness' wrath
for me?

hand in hand you stood.
eyes to eyes you stared.
soul to soul you stopped.
for only a moment.
that's when you looked.
that's when you saw.
hidden behind her eyes,
those bright shades
seemed so dark.
without moving,
you leaned forward,
you stepped inside her eyes
to see what you could find.
through the gates,
into her mind,
and what a mind it was.
it went on and on and on,
from what you could tell.
it was filled with wonders
that you couldn't see.
this endless land behind her eyes
did not have
a single ray of light.

since then, whenever you could,
you would reach into her eyes
and fumble in the darkness of her mind,
grasping blindly
for a light switch.

it was never supposed to be you
                                           but you were the only one who cared
                                   now it's you i go to
     half of what i write is for you
                                        and  you are what i wish for when i click my heels
it's like everything aligned...
                            to bring me you

I am a broken glass.
I used to be filled with life, which I was happy to share.
But when I fell, I fell hard.
I broke, and all the life drained out of me.
And since I'm empty inside, I am tossed in the trash.

they opened their lips
and out flowed poetry.
their intoxicating words
blinded me and drew me
to them, in the same way
a light draws a moth:
senseless, longing, entranced...

two pairs of eyes
exchanging
static shocks
tiny sparks

  shaking hands
  aching heads
  cease to matter
  anymore

    pinpricks
    painless pain
    in skin
    in blood

      your heat is
      all that matters
      you're here
      i'm glad

soldiers desensitized
prisoners dehumanized
images that burn in your eyes
it seems like a crime to breathe this air
this air that weighs so heavily
upon our minds
trees old enough to have seen
the sins of mankind
unspoken words hang above us
as we stand under the gallows
and echoes of
"what if that had been us?"
and the chimney
dwarfing the cross

but purple lilies grow here now

At this point, I can't tell the difference between love, and pain.
Or between my heart, and my brain.
Or between my tears, and drops of rain.

At this point, I can't tell the difference between dark, and light.
Or between wrong, and right.
Or between blindness, and sight.

At this point, I can't tell the difference between you, and me.
Were the same, you see.
We both just want to be free.