In a fight
Try I might
To prevail
But I'll fail
It's with you
Is it true
With your control
Of my soul
I gave all
Just to fall
In this trap
As I tap
Your shoulder
You grow colder
Your little slave
I'll behave
Torturing me so
Let me go
If I fight
Tonight
You'll still be
Enslaving me
Driving me insane
I need pain
Only thing real
Just to feel

The grinding
Can be blinding
To desire the recognition
Consumed by ambition
What should I sacrifice
How power can entice
Choices weighed methodically
So I choose meticulously
This rat race I chose
Something to do I suppose
So superficial
Not so special
Have to pay the bills
Demonstrate and sharpen my skills
Fatigue sets in everyday
Weariness grows the longer I stay
I have goals And dreams
As I get better the further it seems
Am I able to disengage from here
What binds me now is it fear
Yet I'm afraid of nothing at all
Always the foundation standing tall
I feel I'm missing a piece to my soul
How this monotony takes its toll
It's 6 am again time to wake up
Its so tedious yeah time to wake up

In waves it's here
Muffled unclear
Sobbing over there
Wallowing despair
So far away
Hard to survey
All my fault
Not enough in the vault
Torturous unrelenting
Somber visions tormenting
Try I do
Must push through
This barbed cage
Ease his rage
What's next
It's so complex
He is strong
Still feels wrong
My mother in tears
The worst in years
Am I helping
As it's developing
**** what the hell
Break his shell
Bring him back
All I got
Too far to spot
Today he is fine
Tomorrow he might lose his mind

So sick of pain
Life so mundane
The wicked win
Empathy a sin
Chaos a trend
Hearts never mend
Indifference seems just
None to trust
Hatred a epidemic
Love is tragic
Can't truly feel
Can't truly heal
Children suffering endlessly
Innocence destroyed needlessly
Wounds become worse
Life a curse

I rose I lay
On your body on display
Are you with angels soaring
In heaven exploring
I miss you so
I wish you didn't go
I'm sorry I've been bad
I'm sorry I made you sad
I am trying to be good
Do the things I should
You had a life so grand
When you left I didn't cry
I don't know why
Had to comfort my dad
You were all he ever had
Things have changed since you passed
People forgetting family so fast
The bond you created is broken
So much pain still left unspoken

I feel broken
So weak
Can't carry on
So tired
Hungry and alone
All hope is gone
Confused each day
Scared I guess
Not much to say
No point to try
My dreams expired
Sitting here lost
Can't stand myself
Who cares why
All pride disappear
No good at all
Motivation has transpired

I feel so ugly
Empty lost and sad
A boy gone bad
Tears have no use
After years of abuse
Chains suffocating me
I feel so ugly
With a crooked grin
Hiding deeper within
My mask will conceal
The ugliness I feel
I was alone
Couldn't scream
Couldn't run
Couldn't cry
I little boy
Helpless and scared
As I grew older
This boy became colder
Dimly my light will flicker
As my torment swelled thicker
I'm grasping at the rope
Dying as I cling to hope
I'm so ugly and weak
From the bruises across my cheek

If a kiss can dismiss all the tension will we feel such apprehension a subtle touch can change so much would you request such an embrace allow me to caress your face burn the image in my mind would you be so kind if trust is an issue binding our fruition let's listen to our intuition no need to pressure the situation I'm cool with just a conversation no lie you're **** and cool got me infatuated trying to keep my cool I could be a lover and friend im just not ready I won't pretend doesn't mean I don't want to I do wonder how it would feel getting next to you

I display what I say can you feel what is real I will know what you show if it's true

I feel
Yet I don't show
Do you know
Take it slow
It's a trip
Heartbeat will skip
Pulse rising
Emotions surprising
Time spent
Worries seem irrelevant
Frowns set upside down
Tears from laughter
Pain no longer lingers
Journeys with our fingers
Sensual embraces crashing
Misery falls smashing
Haters tossing slander
Still with the candor
A fighter speaking without fists
Devotion will persist
Learning to heal
As we feel

As I lay
There's the text
Time to play
What happens next
Send the reply
Wait a few
Sexiness can't lie
Talking about you
Here's the thing
I just won't
Will it bring
Ok just don't
Empty each time  
It feels good
Our desires climb
If I should
What will be
A bad boy
That is me
Your little toy
I'll be brash
Someone to use
Someone to smash
Possession you abuse

To be honest
I don't like how you're acting
The way you've been overreacting
Trying to be dismissive and cold
It's becoming old
But I can't tell you how to be
But I can avoid what's negative to me
If youre compelled to be hostile
Being around you is futile
Normally I could care less
Yet it's causing confusion and stress
I would have just shut you out
But you're important to me no doubt
You've helped me reflect
But I'm trying to show respect
But I'm close to not giving a ****
But I do, so i feel like I'm stuck

I write with such a dark persistence
well basically it describes my existence
funny how it is you didn't see what happened to me
so how could it be
have you ever seen a person so evil and twisted
she stood there clenched ****** striking me as she
was molesting me
with a knife in hand
to help make me understand
the consequences of my actions
if I were to describe the details of her abusive conduct
with each tear came a blow
until I wouldn't show
any feelings at all
how that enraged her then came the more creative abuse
nothing remained except a hollow shell of a child
nothing left to hurt
nothing left to beat
nothing left to scare
nothing left in there
but I did my job my loved ones I protected
they were never affected
I made sure that was perfected
so yeah insomnia rides my *** every night sure **** isn't right
but it's alright
Im here still and I care
how the **** can that be
she didn't **** off all of me please but I've been on my knees
asking for forgiveness
for being that weak little boy
that evil *****'s little toy
it's weird I don't feel ***** or any of that disgusting ****
I just feel anger and there's a lot of it