The fresh aroma of the ocean drifted around me
mixing with the luxurious smell of the forest.
The gentle touch of grass and moss,
made me feel as if I were weightless.
The sound of the morning breeze in the trees,
made my heart flutter and my soul dance.

Everything around me seemed to be in tune,
with this subtle spring song,
that nature seemed to be playing.
Everything moved, danced and whispered,
in one fluid movement.

I wanted to be part of it to.
I danced around the dimmed beach meadow,
and lost myself in the song.
When I left, the night was approaching.
Gentle song had quieted,
ready to inspire the next wounded soul.

Thump, tha-thump thump. thump, thump
you just walked past me

Thud, thud-thud-thud, thud, thud
hello just left your lips

Thump, thump, poundpoundpound, thump, thump
your skin met mine for a moment

Beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep---
What would I do if you kissed me?

His arms a blanket
His kiss a luxury
His words a melody
His smile a light
His eyes an escape
All I need is Him.

Steel flecks
on my rose of red,
sparkle
like death.

They wink
from my rose of red,
snicker
like jealousy.

Removal is futile
on my rose of red,
they prickle
like envy.

My rose of red
is tainted
by flecks of steel.
Poisoned.

I have the tendency
of getting very physical
It's getting harder to breathe
for you that's literal

Does it hurt?
Burn?
****?
Does it weaken your will
to learn that I have all the control?

Do you lust?
Ache?
Yearn?
Do you want another turn,
want to go till you break?

I'm happy to oblige
but can't be held responsible
if no one can do it better
-for that I am not liable

I see the way you look at me
your eyes longing for the face they cannot touch

I know the way you think
your mind imagining the possibilties they cannot have

I feel the way you move
your body trying to remember what is has not ever had

I see you, I know you, I feel you
I cannot have you
not right now
not now
not...

You see me watching you
imagine me thinking about you
knowing that I see you

It is almost to much
almost

But not yet.

We started out as lust,
and quickly grew from there.

Now everything is different.
What we have is rare.

My fingers lingered a little longer
on the soft lines of your face.

Your kisses went a little deeper;
it was no longer a race.

Your embrace feels a little stronger.
None of this was planned.

My heart beats a little louder
the closer to me you stand.

It hasn’t been very long,
yet I know this is true:
without you, it feels wrong,
and I’m in love with you.

I've known you but a minute,
Though it seems to be forever.
You're an all important person,
Someone I'll remember.

Though time and ocean have seperated us,
The illusion of distance seems to much.
Yet I know well enough,
That soon I'll be able to feel your touch.

If distance was to great a feat,
I would give up, go home, stay away.
But I know better, only a matter of time.
And I sit here counting the days

Hear the words roll off
            his oiled tongue
Sweet song spills from
            his cunning mouth
Promises ooze from
            his chattering teeth

Be aware.
Not everything you hear
is a melody.

I live in a past
you are doomed to repeat.
Are you sure about that?
Nothing is concrete

I swallow your present.
You are stuck in my orbit.
Your idea of free will?
That theory is forfeit.

I echo in your future,
a taunting voice on the wind.
Do you struggle to break free?
Just rejoice in my sin.

Those that live in the past
are doomed to repeat it.
Doesn't that depend on the past?
Could be doomed, could be blessed.

Lie in bed with me
                   For here my thoughts can flutter-
Become weightless but are not gone
For that I need you

Your hot pulse against
    My cold aura
                            ignites a light
that plays friendly hide and seek
                            with the dark
Because our deepest desires
            are those which shadows do hide

When the sun cries silently
and weeps across the sky
emotion shall crawl down my face
Us
    this bed does not wish to deny

I've just been broken into two -
The piece that stayed with me
and the piece that went with you.

Oh how I differ from
The youthful beauty of
A pale new flower

Velvet petals of orange,
A stem of vibrant green
leaves as young as I once was

As autumn brings harsh cold
A reining beauty shall fall
Join me and pass away

Your time has ended
As time takes its tithe
your life is now not

Oh Higher Power please!
-Please tell me what I need to know.
Why does my love for him not grow?

Is it stoppered with a blackened promise?
A hateful word, an unfaithful kiss?
Is there something to which I am amiss?

I do not wish to linger here,
drowning in what seems unclear
while suspicion does provoke a tear.
Oh, tell me what I need to hear...

I shall take whatever you care to tell
in the hope that my tears such knowledge will quell,
for not knowing shall inevitably drive me to my hell
Oh Higher Power please...

~Please tell~

The monster sneers
       you succumb
give up
            give in
The monster has total control
        of you
the situation
             your body
The monster is utterly devious
         holding you fast
pleasing you secretly
              manipulating your lust
The monster has what it wants
          your finished
satisfied
               writhing in a naked sweat

That monster
~is me~

It uses the seatbelt as a vesicle
Slithers across your shoulders,
prickles your chest

With every beat
It pounds into your heart,
wiggles into your veins

You're infected
But it feels so good

Your blood forgets oxygen
and caters to the pulse
flowing throughout your systems

At once, Gravity remembers it's job
angrily it sinks to your feet
pools and tenses

Wearily it exits through the sole
spiders into the floor
the music has left you

You are forever infected
And it feels so good

Golden rays melt
into vast amounts of white
Not a drop of loss was felt
Unfortuneatly that was then
Unfortuneatly this is now

Sparkles used to be the only
Product of the light
When beauty was
just a silent grace
not a silent threat

Ice ruled humbly
A creature at its side
Magnificent and mighty
Paws like frosty boulders
Spirit intertwined with cold

Together they seemed
unstoppable
unbreakable   inseperable
They were unbeatable
So solid

As the gas fills the air
It allies with golden rays
And as the ice shrinks back
weakened, beaten, damaged
The icebear follows suit
Gems of the North are disappearing
going
going
Gone.

Poseidon's steeds rise from the ocean
silhouetted against the twinkling lights of an English village

They kick out at the sea,
making their presence heard.
Like the rumbling of a million bees,
it's hard to see,
but when you do they are magnificent.
Pawing the ocean,
stirring the current,
they rise above the rocks.
I look at the clock.
The horses are bringing in the tide
I might get stuck between the beach
and the thundering of hooves,
but I don't move.
I am still
while the ocean is in turmoil.
I toil.
Shall I retreat?
Shall I wait in defeat?
The horses call my name
offering a ride
to where?
I couldn't say but I kind of want to try.
I walk closer to the edge;
thank god it's not a ledge
or I'd never jump.

An arm wraps around me,
pulling me away.
But I feel the ocean, it wants me back.
His warmth wraps around me
and it puts me back on track.
I forgot I was cold.
I didn't mean to be so bold,
as to walk into his kingdom
and see the great unknown.

I'm resigned to this life,
walking among mortals.
After all it's not so bad,
when you have someone
that keeps you sane when you feel sad.

And** then the world breaks
Light is moved by shadows
Never will it be the same
Gave to us by misunderstanding
The upheavel we experience
Darkness rises from its hiding place
A new Earth begins to shape
Chance is given to those left behind
To regain their lost dignity
Shine like the new stars created by those lost

Lately I have found,
that pretty love
makes for prolific poems.

I'm finding that
a tender feeling
makes for tenacious terms
******* in rhyme.

I found that
a shared heart
makes for shy shrines
made up of secretive words.

As the people around me find someone,
I can't help but notice
the pretty poems,
and the prolific love.

I want to say something,
these words I can't keep,
but I'm afraid I'll lose you
after the tiniest peep.

I wish I could tell you
just how I feel,
but I'm afraid it's too much,
and you'll gasp and you'll reel.

I need to touch you
in the most gentle of ways,
but you're miles away,
the swim would take days.

I miss your voice
and your face
and your hair,
having to keep this inside
just doesn't seem fair.

I want you to shout out
how you feel about me.
I need to know
how you feel about me.
I wish you would tell me
how you feel about me,
so I can blurt out this passion
and finally be free.

I wonder what it sounded like
To hear a bullet whizz by your head?

I wonder what it felt like
When you realized you still had another day.

I wonder why you did it
why you put your life at risk.

I wonder what you were thinking
as your bullet swallowed a life.

And I wonder what you thought
when you realized you were going home.

The glory of war all but evaporated
With every round you shot
The spoils faded slowly
With every drop you spilt

The events that haunt you daily
Will try to make you fall
Your past will try to tag you
And so you build a wall

Your safe, no fear, no death
But you still fear death in safety
The poppy stills your thoughts
So you wear one
Remembering

It's been so long.
My vase has been empty
for fear of selfish gardening.
I had almost given up completely.

My favourite flower was always an orchid.
I thought I had found it long ago,
but it seems my orchid is a rarer breed;
it takes much more care to sow.

I happened across it on a lively night
in a garden full of flowers.
My lily had just turned to poison;
it's amazing what lust devours.

My orchid had seen many vases,
some much nicer than mine
and yet it chose to flower then
and look entrancingly divine.

For a couple years I watered it
from far away, safe from my touch of war
I was afraid that I would squander it,
like I had so many times before.

But the orchid was just like me,
adventurous and curious.
Though we couldn't be together
we let each other be flirtatious.

And silently we grew together,
and my orchid came to me,
and my whole world came together
even if only very briefly.

Now I sit here writing this,
looking at my orchid, in my vase, on my window sill,
and I look back at myself and realize;
I'm HIS flower, in HIS vase, on HIS window sill.

He won't go
He won't go
I whisper to the dark
lying on my back, arms crossed
of course he is going

He'll visit me
He'll visit me
I mumble to the shadows
trembling, trying to stay composed
I'll never see him again

He will call everyday
He will call everyday
I cry out to the moon
tears cascading down my face
I'll never hear his voice again

My nose plugs
My throat swells
My body quivers
and breathless sobs escape me

*That night I dreamed of all that could have been

Violence destroys more
Spreads faster
Lives longer
Burns hotter
Than wildfire

Violence tunnels into our hearts
Embeds itself deep within our souls
Turns us inside out, upside down
Corrupts our minds, taints our thoughts

Violence will not control us
Will not shape us
Will not mold our being

We will fight it
Destroy it
Combat it
Annihilate it
Prevail against it.

There is a cut on my chest.
You put it there

There is a tear in my heart.
It is you

There is a scar left behind.
It was you

Then you walked away
You broke me

My heart
My mind
My soul
My will

You cut a hole in my chest and tore the scar tissue away
You left and swore to me
That you would mend
The cut and the scar
That you would heal
The torn strings of my heart.

You lied.
But thats ok.
Because you tried.

I possess more love
Than that which I confess
But I speak not often of such
For should I happen to falter
I fear it would test
the faith of the rest
and doubt would shadow what's left

When...

I say "I Love You"
Do not be disheartened when that is all I offer
But enlightened
For under sound of tongue
are feelings to be sung

And so...

I veil more love
Than one seems to entail
But only because
I may not confess
what I possess

Seeing is believing,
though we often only look,
missing what we believe,
and seeing nothing.
What a funny routine to be caught up in.

They told me not to get involved
                 it wasn't for me to be meddle
Don't say anything
                 it will blow over
I didn't say a thing

She giggled and laughed
                he smiled and flirted
I was told not to say anything
                this can be skirted
I didn't say a thing

I was told to keep quiet
                "you don't want to lose him
because he thinks you're clingy"
                 I shouldn't have listened
I didn't say a thing

I lost what was mine
                 to a girl with no morals
she took off with his heart
                 and left me regretful
*I wish I said something

You play a better game than me
It's fair to say, it's plain to see
In terms of distraction
You're better at pretending
That I'm not always there
A silent flare

Radio silence
We don't acknowledge
But I don't need you to
I know I'm a patient pin
Sitting just under your skin

I'm waiting for you to break
To bend, to blow
The process is slow
But the finale will be
The greatest show

How long will you last?
How long before you cave?
Resistance is futile
Give me your attention
It's all that I crave.

I snap and lunge
       big dog on a long leash
I show my teeth
        wolf warning
I claw and paw the ground
         leopard to pounce

I cannot be responsible for my actions
when you back me into a corner
with all of your aggressive reactions.

I think my rose is wilting.
The vase chipping,
the thorns softening.

And the Lily calls,
a song on the wind,
a melody in harmony
with pedals and a euphony
of sounds so sweet.

My rose struggles to lift it's weary head
above the edge of the vase,
to look at me,
but I'm looking away.

And the Lily sings
sweet whisperings meant for my ears,
coalesceing me to where it grows
as pedals dry my tears.

I promised I would leave it,
protect it's sweet innocence,
but what does it want?
Can I really deny something that calls
to my very soul, my heart?

Oh, what could we start?

Thou art thine wings
        For souls do fly
             Unto thee

I wept a tear for you
A single, glistening droplet

Shunned from my eye
it cried as it fell
left me with a memory
as though it had a tale to tell

As it teetered on my nose
gravity ended its sovereignty of sorrow
and it fell again
this time to greet my pillow

There it remains
I can't believe I wept a tear for you

We fight and it is so heated
we say things that hurt and sting
we pang with pain and malvolence
And then we say goodbye.
Not, "Good bye hunny! Love you lots!! <3"
No.
Our good bye is brief and harshly punctuated.
And then we huff and puff and stew
Then we ask questions
At first they are angry questions, ones with no answers
"Why is he/she such a ******* *******?" "Why is he/she so stupid?"
And we stew some more...
Then we ask the right questions.
"I wonder why he/she feels that way.." "Why did I say that?"
And we stew, but in a different way now.
We think with our brains instead of our emotions.
And we begin to realize something important
We do not fight because we want to antogonize.
We fight because we are afraid of losing one another. Afraid of saying the last goodbye.
We mull that thought over and I don't know about you
but tears begin to escapre from my eyes and fall gently to my pillow.
Not racking sobs, just small, meaningful tears
I'm sad because I hurt you
I cry because I really hope I didn't make you cry.
I am sorry and I guess what I really want
is to say that to you.

*I'm so sorry...

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
And
Time makes our will grow stronger
But
Life makes our meeting harder
When
Oceans make it so much farther.

Will our love forever smoulder
Or
Will you let us grow colder?

The summer sun falls behind
a horizon of fire.
The last light of day
turns the sky into an ocean,
*and I let myself drown.

Sun fought on to keep the onslaught back,
Night smiled and sent his wispy minion,
who then cascaded down from the heavens,
covering all the land.

Weak beams tried to pry open the sky,
and take back Sun's rightful place.
Grey fog creeped into the scene,
and thwarted all hopes of escape.

Not all stories end happily.
Sun's rays were beaten and retired.
Fog thickened in triumph.
Night paraded in early.

The fog welcomed in the Night,
and the Night laughed at the Sun.

You are in control
I thought maybe I was
         oh boy was I wrong

I thought I had the upper hand
the only reason it was upper
        was because you pinned it there

I mirror your movements
because mirror is all I can do
         if I am to keep up with you

Take control
Take the lead
        take me

I crash
My mind hits the rocks
The tide sweeps away hope
Prevention was in the clocks

Time was ticking
The old father knew
sooner or later
Reality would blast a hole brand new

My beliefs and my Hope
My imagination ran wild
Malicious Reality intervened
Cunning Fate sat back and smiled

In one brief moment
All I thought was real
Laughs in my face
The vault is resealed

Realizations hit me
I sit and I cry
I am left beaten and empty
Silenting hoping no one will pry

Love and Faith
Take pity on my soul
The ways of the world are not my own
And carefully, I fill in the hole

Oh, the frosted trees
the North Wind blows
like delicate skeletons
at home in the snow

Sway and shed
your frosty attire
down warm necks
like icy spires

There is fun to be had
in the frost bitten forest
dropping wint'ry surprises
all over the tourists

It is sad to think all fun
must come to an end
as the warm sun smiles
to melt malicious pretend