I was just telling a friend about the wonders
of where I used to live.

The snow, the beaches, the bears, the places.

And it all came flooding back;
a huge tidal wave of longing hit me

I feel like my heart is caged here.
There are people all around.
Trees only dot the street corners.
Civilization everywhere you look.

This is not my natural habitat.
This is not where I belong.
I need to escape into and endless landscape
of nature and wilderness.

I need to go back to my home and native land,
the True North Strong and Free

You cannot receive love
If you choose not to love others
Break down the walls and start anew,
For that special someone,
Is one of few.

A year.
For a year I loved an idea.
Oh woe, silly me.

Hahaha, how stupid.
How do you love something you have never beheld?
With all your heart apparently.

Well, the idea cut ties with me.
It was hard to give it up,
and I thought I had.
Clearly I was just lying to myself.

You were gone.
I accepted it.

Then you came back.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
How are you? Are you alright?"

HAHAHAHAHA
no. no I'm not, not anymore.
This whole time, I thought...
you didn't even think about me.

Welcome back to turmoil.
No matter how strong I am,
he will always make me weak.

The twang of guitar strings
fights through my headphones
eager for attention.

The look of dire determination
outlined with concentration
and subtle admiration,
paints your face
in a handsome light.

You pen a word -
then a sentence.
Your words are laced with
adoration
in anticipation of a grandeur scheme.

Your shy glances
bounce off me when I look at you,
keen to remain unseen.
But I see you.

Words come to life
as they slip like silk
from your lips
and tickle my skin
like icy fingertips.

This love is an art.
I'll write
You sing

I wrote a Poem for you
                                           And hoped that you would like it
                                                                                                      I kind of want to impress you
                                           Because I like it when you smile
Smile at me
                                           You make me light up
                                                                                                     Like a lonely christmas tree
                                           Trying to attract attention
So that it may shine
                                           And make someone
                                                                                                     beam like a lighthouse
                                           I want to make you beam
With this poem I wrote

you lie there, peacefully sleeping.
Dreaming. You look so happy
With your arm wrapped around m...

No. Enough.
These thoughts are not welcome
I must stop them
We're over.

you open your sleepy eyes and look at me.
A lazy smile spreads across your face.
You caress my...

Enough!
That was the future
That we let burn,
I must let it go,
though I continue to yearn.

your kisses trail down my arm.
You ask why I'm awake.
I tell you that I love y...*

I SAID ENOUGH!
I messed it up.
We (I) tried to fix it.
I'll never have you in my bed.
I can't get my hopes up,
those hopes are dead.

Time is a tragedy.
Tragic that we measure it
in years and months
and not moments.

Tragically ironic that a moment
lasts only mere minutes
and then fades to memory.

Tragic that these memories
fade from our minds
and into 'once-were's' and 'what-if's'.

If time were measured in moments
and not seconds to ****,
don't you think living
would mean something?

Anything could change -
Could happen

In a moment.

Driving me crazy...
A nasty, unwelcome longing,
pulling on me, dragging me lower,
down to a very lonely place.

Only your smile...
I never got to see it for real, just a pixelated version.
I wish I could have touched it as it spread leisurely
across your face.
Only your smile can make me lighten up
after cold, dark thoughts,
A little ray of sunshine on a gloomy day!

Maybe one day...
I can stand next to the sun,
and watch as it smiles at me with such warmth.
A beautiful glow looking at me lovingly.
Oh!
I should be so lucky...

Or should I?
Perhaps I'm blinded by the sun.
Perhaps I should look away...

True love cannot die
If it is never found
In the first place.

My mind has once again
Taken up residence in the gutter.
Even my pen won't work;
It coughs and hacks and sputters.

My body aches with untold stories
Even now, my fingers twitch.
I feel so compressed,
All my thoughts, they've begun to itch

My hiatus of the mind
Has gone on far too long.
I need to feel the flow again,
Because without poetry, I feel wrong.

I love talking to you,
Standing close to your heart,
Hearing you breathing, and the sound of your voice.
          Not needing a piece of technology
          To express my feelings for you

A phone could never do that anyway.

I fear what you feel for me
is not as strong as what I feel for you.
That scares me.
This scares me.
You scare me too.

I don't want to be hurt
so I need to know,
can I invest my heart in you,
or am I about to suffer a blow?

How real reality can be
When it slaps you in the face
after you slap a book closed

The world you lived in for days
the world you love
the world that's familiar
ends.

You are alone
in a world you hoped to escape
so you sit and wonder.

What can I do?
What is there to do?
Life seems so... unworthy
un worthy of you.

And then a book catches your eye
and you read, the first page...
just to see
then the first chapter...
just to make sure
then the first part...
just to be certain
then you take it home
and you make it your new world

A viscious, unforgiving,
but gloriously enlightening cycle

Mundane steps,
common thoughts, (so unoriginal),
like stripes on a zebra.
They haunt me.

Didn't I say the sun was setting?
Sunshine pours through me,
filling me with hope.
Guess I was wrong.

Now I glow.
And I grow.
And I wait.

One day that sun will blast
the shadow that walks past my window
into something real.

My steps will no longer be mundane,
or just mine.

Fresh footprints in the sand -
mine, yours, and a little pair in between.

But it's hard to make footprints on a boat, chasing the sun around the world.

I am not living.
You tried everything you knew
The cracks I still slipped through
Makes me realize I was human

Lost in sorrowful wisps of smoke
Carried in the wind and forgotten
An imagination fruitful, rotten
Reminding me I was not human

The things I have not discovered
Plague, irritate, mock with great joy
The things I have, like children's toys
I realize I don't care which I was.

When I think about you,
it's hard to pull words from my mind
that could ever let you know how I feel.
You just make things real.

Our plans are mad!
I'm so far away from you.
When you talk about it though,
well, it could all come true.

Please, for my sanity
quest across the water
and find your way to me.

I would wait a thousand years,
but I cannot waste a lifetime.

We created a beautiful work of art.

It shined and glimmered,
glittered and sparkled.
It was magnificent.

It sat on a pedestal,
waiting for the day we hung it up,
safe from  the clumsy hands of others,
out of the way of danger and destruction.

And then I bumped it.
It was all accidental, I didn't know,
just what I'd done.

It wasn't even in slow motion.
There wasn't that moment of hope,
when you think that you can catch it.
It just smashed.

Pieces were everywhere.
Tiny glass pieces littered the floor.
I wept and you angered.
You never forgave me.

I tried to pick the pieces up.
They cut my fingers,
no longer the picture of beauty,
but of harsh reality.

I put our piece of art back together,
as best I could.
What did you do?
You threw it back to the ground.
Again I worked to fix it.

Over and over, I presented you with
what I thought we were, what we could be still.
Over and over, you threw it to the floor.
I kept telling myself that the cuts and the pain
would be worth it. Don't give up.

I've learned that, no matter how hard I try,
I can't fix it.
Not on my own.
I need your help. Won't you help me?
Don't you remember what we were?
Do you remember that beautiful
shining
glimmering
faceted piece of art that we made?

No?
Well, I'll keep trying.
Let me know when you want to
lend me a pair of gloves or,
even help me pick up some pieces.

I am Deadly
        For I tempt the soul
I am Bewitching
        For I believe the ******
I am Corruption
        For I sway the mind
I am Loneliness
        For I leave you broken
I am Dangerous
        For I tear the heart
I am Sinful
        For it seems to good to be true
I am a Sword
        And I am double edged

Drive me to the end
the end of days
of light
of faith

Hold the key
the key to life
to love
to happiness

Remember your promises
promises of longevity
of fulfillment
of hope

These things
they wound
they hurt
they pain
You have wronged me
and for that
I shall do what's in my power
to be free

What to feel
                     when you feel too much
when you can't make sense
                                               when you need a crutch

What to see
                   when you see nothing
when you want a light
                                       but you can't see anything

What to hear
                      when you hear everything
but you feel alone
                               when you hear yelling

What to want
                       when you want it all
when you need someone
                                           but you haven't the gall

Asocial?
I've never seen it.
Maybe long ago, when a shy smile
sent us down the longest mile.

Talkative?
So he calls me.
Maybe I was at a time.
I said "I love you..." and suddenly we climbed.

Caring?
I just know it.
His trustworthiness knows no bounds.
I stubbornly doubt, but he pulls me out,
He always makes sure we avoid the drought.

Beautiful?
He likes to say.
The sun in his eyes, he assumes beauty
Lies underneath the blinding brilliance.
I fear my fun exterior has him in a trance.

Humorous?
Beyond belief.
My brutal honesty could never maim
His clever wit, nor put it to shame.

So who is he?
He lives in the future, restless and unsettled.
He lives in my mind, alive and real.
He is all that I need,
I just have to wish and hope and plead.

SIlence is often louder than words
For words are cheap and influenced
But we can shout louder
We can be heard
Without a word

Silence is power
and often
Silence has its very own voice

There is something funny happening in my chest
            That area under my ribs
                       Inside the place that pumps blood through my veins
                                    I think it might be pumping faster
                                                But it only happens when you're near me
                                                         I can't understand why it wants to beat faster
                                                          ­          When you put your hand on my leg
                                                             ­                  Or why
                                                             ­        It seems to want to leave my body
                                                         When your lips touch mine
                                                 I think it may be because it likes you
                                      I wouldn't blame it at all, you're sweet, funny, smart, kind
                         And good looking. I think it really, REALLY likes you.
             I might not have a heart by the time you're done. It feels like it wants you. Not me.
I know exactly what's happening in my chest.

I know you feel it.
Something is happening
               changing
in you.
I can see it.

Your Dam of Desire
has broken,
the floodgates are open
               but you draw on a blank,
do your best to think fast
               before you tank.

You cannot use the Broom stick of Beauty
to sweep away the ugliness of passion.
               You cannot simply sit under the rug
and hide from me.
You know it cannot be.

But now you feel as though
you've been put on the bench,
and your heart feels wrenched,
and your feelings clench,
                 but you wait.

Just wait,
you'll see.

Sometimes you look at me
And bite your lip
You grab my leg
And tighten your grip

You tell me I'm beautiful
You say I make you happy
It feels me with warmth
To know how you feel about me

But...

Sometimes you won't look at me
You turn me away
I don't understand
Why you don't want me to stay

You tell me to ****** off
You say you don't want
Anyone to know about us
It's almost a taunt.

I don't understand
How you go from
Enamoured and captivated
To distant and uninterested

I would like nothing more
Than to heal your heart
From the pain within
And offer you a fresh start

Why can't it be you and I?
Who cares who knows
Because, even though I've tried
I can't let you go

Swim in the sea of knowledge
Walk through the desert of wisdom
I would trek across this world of upheaval
Just to stroll next to you for a moment

And when you're no where near me
All I have is precious memories
They float through my mind and drill me
Linger and ***** my senses

When I'm able to feel your prescence
When I can hear your heart racing underneath breaths
When your curves are molded by my body
We are so much like one moment, all our own

Does it ever cross your mind,
The feeling of your lips on mine
Your hand on my skin
I am yours, you are mine?

Do you ever stop to wonder,
Why you make me breathless
Why my cheeks turn pink
Why I smile when you're near?

Are you actually blind,
to hints
subtle glances
timid looks?

You cross my mind.
I wonder about you.
How I wish I could see

You are my question
But I feel like the answer

I cry in the face of the moonlight
and watch as the firelight
dances in spite of the porchlight
I know that this is just right

Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught

I laugh in the face of distance
and giggle as resistance
is ironic in this instance
and I know this is a good trance

Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught

I am in need of no other
these miles won't bother
all because I would rather
have you than another

*Your memory taunts
haunts and flaunts
while my breath
is caught