I lie beside you
breathing

I try to remember
thinking

I want to give
feeling

I can't help you
loving

And still I lie beside you
the world in my head
still revolving, turning
as it grinds away my brain

You lie beside me
blissfully unaware
of the insanity that approaches me
creeping

If only you would tell me to breathe
and stop thinking
because you have a funny feeling
and you think it is me you love

All this inside me
while I lie beside you
breathing
and feeling
and thinking
and loving
someone who may not love me.

He won't go
He won't go
I whisper to the dark
lying on my back, arms crossed
of course he is going

He'll visit me
He'll visit me
I mumble to the shadows
trembling, trying to stay composed
I'll never see him again

He will call everyday
He will call everyday
I cry out to the moon
tears cascading down my face
I'll never hear his voice again

My nose plugs
My throat swells
My body quivers
and breathless sobs escape me

*That night I dreamed of all that could have been

The moon falls lower, the night almost at an end.
It does not cry for fear of shaking the water's surface.
It does not shine its light upon the grass, in fear of seeing its face.
It does not breathe, in fear of scaring the wind.
It hides. It runs.
In fear of the sun it can not be.

I have a book.
            In this book I keep my heart.
    My heart was inked with a quill.
A quill made of a peacock feather.
                    This feather I found in the rain.
In the rain is also where I found you.
                                            found love.
I bet you didn't know it...
*but you are the author of that book

The warbling calls
of the peace and the calm
seem pacified and subdued
far from the ears of man

The shattered cries
of the cacophony and the chaos
too loud and incessant
close to the thoughts of youth

With blood spilled,
splashed over years
of adversity and trial,
we stand tired and stained
waiting for everyone
-else-
to change

To see the world through
a peaceful gaze
is to see the world in beauty

A beauty that is not often attained.

What would you do if I were to lay in your lap?

Would you stroke my face?
Run your fingers through my hair?
Cross your arms over your chest?
like you don't care

Would you whisper things softly to me?
Tell me a story?
Pretend I'm not even there?
like I am not your worry

Would you tell me to sleep, I am safe.
Just tell me to sleep?
Suggest I sleep on the window?
like you wish to fore-go

Tell me, what would you do if I laid in your lap?

What a lovely feeling, to be tangled up in you.
When my world was nothing, if not blue.
You doubt your any help
But every time you do, I melt
Stop thinking you are nothing
Come over here and be my everything