i'm getting better
at being a pretender
you might never know

Theres something unspoken in a promise
A fine line of trust, so easily snapped.
There's something you're not telling me,
Maybe lots of things.
There's something im not telling you,
But its so easy.
The only reason you don't see it
Is because you don't really care.
So take care of yourself,
It's what we want you to do.
Remember though,
In giving up on yourself,
You gave up on me,
Too.

its like a buzzing in my chest,
a feeling i never thought i could feel.
going from numb
to feeling everything in shades of pink and yellow,
not blue and grey.
something pulled me out of the darkness
and dragged me to the surface.
its like i never knew what i was missing, but i did, because i missed it
make sense?
no.
but all that matters is that i am
**happy

In two weeks, i never thought
I could go from dark to light.
You changed me in ways I never could've imagined.
But then,
Abruptly,
That two weeks was over.
And we were ripped apart.
We went from
Me, resting my head on your chest,
Sneaking out,
Counting stars,
To sleeping alone.
I would comment on your heart beat
It was always fast and slow, same time
And you said it raced for me.
You made promises and so did i.
Blocking all hope of next year out, but
I miss you.

Today, i thought nothing of it....
I did it again.
Falling in step woth the same cycle, over and over.
So when i showed a little too much skin,
Let a little too much be seen...
I wasnt surprised, but he saw.
And he looked up at me, with innocent brown eyes
And asked me what the marks on my waist were from.
He wanted to know if it was my dog,
His sometimes scratched him.
But, as he pointed out, his fluffy, loving black lab
Could never cut him that deep.
And he asked me why.
What i told him, was this:
I said
listen, sammy, listen to me. Im okay, okay?
He nodded, but the marks were too numerous
And even a five year old
Can sniff out a lie, just like their black lab.