It's not just
"A phase."
Not just something you can
"Get over."
It becomes a lifestyle.
The lifestyle where
The grey eyes, deep purple souled rule
With shiny silver right beside.
And they'll do anything to get that rush,
Stricky fingers
Or violent palms.
Hunched over on tile floor
When  no one is around to hear,
Smell of burning flesh and shrivled pride mix with
The sound of fresh and
Innocently sweet smiles outside.
But turn and
Look in a mirror.
The glass reflecting is just another tool,
It's all that's in our heads.

Wondering how it would feel
To be the product of an act of heartless violence.
Would you believe you are nothing?
Or would you be stronger?
Wondering how people would react
If you told them you are
The sum of a misrepresented equation?
How could a vicious act of cruelty and terror
Lead to such delicate beauty?

So broken
Like a family portrait gone wrong,
All smiles on the outside
Behind the glass,
But hands interlocked and fingers intertwined
Behind backs
Led to the frame splitting down the middle,
Shattering already crumbling
People,
Same blood
And it runs cold throughout.
So with this twisted
Broken
Family portrait,
How can i ever mend the cracks
And break free?

Noticing, across the room.
The one boy who sits
With his head bowed,
Everyone else's back slightly turned,
As little as it won't be considered mean,
But still stings.
Or noticing the one girl who stares straight ahead, her eyes fixed on something no one else can see,
Something that maybe is invisible to her, too.
If you look closely enough,
You could maybe see the drawing in his notebook,
Scribbled worlds like
ugly
stupid
worthless
Maybe he needs a little
Tap on the back,
An "are you okay?"
From someone
Anyone.
Maybe he needs a little time
To rationalize?
Maybe, if given too much time,
There will be none left.

And you made me
Hate the sun
Because people are trained to fear the unknown
Unless you open your arms to it
But you blocked my view.

have you ever noticed
that when people stare out the window on a bus or train or car or plane
that their eyes follow every single detail at a whiplash inducing speed
but their head stays put?
it's like they're mesmerized by something, something no one else can see
and they have to stare, unblinkingly
so it doesn't disappear.
their eyes flit back and forth like someones head, while watching a tennis match.
they rarely blink
until they tear their eyes away,
close
sleepy, unfocused suddenly
and stare straight ahead,
like nothing happened.
**recovery