You'd want to be remembered as
Someone who always appeared happy,
Because then your efforts would not be in vain.
You wouldn't
You didn't
Want people to know
How you're crumbling in your own skin,
You're dying from the inside out
Or maybe
Outside in.
You don't even really want to be remembered
But if you are,
You hope its not for something
You are
You were
Because everything you are
you were
Isn't anything
Worth remembering.

You had your life figured out,
Just barely 12.
Are white lies
Still white
When they lead to
Darkness?
And thats exactly where you went.
Tossed into the darkness,
Thrown roughly by cold hands.
At first,
You tried to box up the little things.
Fold them neatly into squares,
Push them aside.
But soon,
Too many squared troubles.
The squares led to boxes, boxes to crates.
Finally so many that you
Shoved them into the dark,
Slamming the door and leaning tight against it
To prevent the monsters inside from escaping.
And the piles and piles of unsolved misfourtune
With that tiny silver earing and
A little white lie
Turned to darkness,
And you were thrown in with your piles,
Left to rot alone
Nobody to hear your cries now.

I feel like we're brushing fingers across
Two oceans because
You can't reach that far and
I can't make up for the distance
In between.
Some kind of
Halfway,
Meet in the middle arrangement but i feel like im
Stretching farther
Than you're trying to.
So one sided that i can barely remember
Which side im on.
Can you help me reach you?
Or is it too late and you're too far
Gone

When you told us the
Disease you had, i never understood.
You said it made you sad,
Thats all i knew it could.
You never seemed that way,
I guess you held it in.
Its always easier never to show
The pain you hide within.
So when i told you mine,
You said "for real?" But cant you see?
The pain i hide within is real, yes,
But real is not in me.

When i told you everything last night,
The only thing i didnt expect
Was what actually happened.

Maybe i expected some comfort,
Or at least for you to say,
"Okay, sounds like a plan."
It is a plan.
An over developed plan,
But a plan all in all.

But what you said
And what you did
Was worse than you accepting it.

So thanks a bunch.
That made me realize how
Stupid i was,
To think you'd listen.

I know you remember
The time i told you to never trust me
When in say im fine.
So why is it that
When you ask,
A rare occasion,
And i say im fine,
You turn your back on what you know is true?
I
   Wish
      You
         Would
            Care
*hopeless

Even scars will heal
Though the memories will last
You will find peace soon