celestial: Favorites

Mar 2014 celestial

Mar 2014 celestial

A M

My fingers are tentative

They hover above the keyboard
for far too long,
constantly straying back to that
****** key,
delete.

Nothing comes out right.

Tap, tap, tap
my fingers tap the counter
my pinky taps < delete >

I'm desperate for the right words
but today they evade me.

Mar 2014 celestial

break

Mar 2014 celestial

Mara Siegel

break

i like to feel broken i think
sometimes
i like the way you broke me.

place punctuation where you want

Mar 2014 celestial

robert

Mar 2014 celestial

Mara Siegel

robert

you are made of lines;
straight, or curved
sometimes
even
parabolic.

needs work.

Mar 2014 celestial

Sweet (?) Sixteen

Mar 2014 celestial

aphrodite

Sweet (?) Sixteen

I was 16 years old and wanted to slice myself in half,
wondering if I would ever get the last laugh.
Wondering why the good things never last,
hoping I could one day go down the right path.

I was 16 years old and couldn't think straight,
stuck on the idea that I'd always be too late.
Hoping that the boy would ask me on a date,
Seeing only predictability and self hate.

I was 16 years old with a hair clip and a lighter,
wondering why no one else saw me as a fighter.
Trying different things to make the weight lighter;
mixed in with the invisible's and the over-biters.

I was 16 years old and the timing was always wrong,
feeling like the road of self-destruction was too long.
Doctors telling me what I had known all along,
just waiting for the day that I could sing a new song.

Oh, youth.

Mar 2014 celestial

Winter in March (10 w)

Mar 2014 celestial

aphrodite

Winter in March (10 w)

Stop blaming the weather for why you've become so cold.

#apx

Mar 2014 celestial

Coping

Mar 2014 celestial

aphrodite

Coping

You drink about it.
       You smoke about it.
              You **** about it.
                      You cut about it.
                           You sleep about it.
                                 You stopped sleeping about it
                                       You stopped eating about it.
                                            You keep eating about it.
                                                You swallow pills about it.
                                                      You punch walls about it.
                                                           You kick cans about it.
                                                                You spit about it.
                                                                     You write about it.
                                                                       You cry about it.

                                                                        But you won't talk about it.

                                                             You won't pray about it.
                                                      You won't seek help about it.
                                                 You won't reach out about it.
                                            You won't tell your father about it.
                                      You won't tell your lover about it.
                                  You won't meditate about it.
                           You won't medicate about it.
                    You won't preach about it.
             You won't advocate about it.

       You're killing yourself over it,
but perhaps it's time you start saving yourself from it.

What is your "it"?
I've bolded what I find to be healthier alternatives for coping, opposed to the common and harmful ways of coping that are italicized.
This poem is very personal & I hope you learn to cope the best way you can.
**

#apx