Forgive me for falling
But I cannot stand myself upright

Forgive me for staring
But I refuse to let your beauty out of sight

Forgive me for telling
But the words were clawing at my mouth

Forgive me for caring

Nothing feels right,
when you're not here.
Every memory of you
runs through my head,
but it's not the same.

To see you smile,
to hear you laugh,
is different than just
trying to remember.

God, do I ever,
miss you.

I miss you fondly
Thoughts of you are always brilliant,
And yellow, gold, and orange;
Soft and radiant.
I miss you wholey
And this need for you
Is not numb or cold,
It’s not hungry,
Nor thirsty or breathless,
But so fulfilling.
I miss you blessedly,
Transcendently:
As if God’s own arms
Fit around my body where yours used to
And honor me
With the most remarkable warmth.
I miss you honestly
I am truest,
And most valiant,
In the moments that I think of you.
I miss you shamelessly
Void of guilt;
Full of faith
In all you are.
But mostly,
And all too importantly,
I miss you lovingly:
The space by my side
Where you used to stand
Emptily awaits you.
The room in my heart for you
Will always be yours.
How lovingly I miss you
Oh dear friend:
How loved and missed you are

I don't tell you very often, but you're a really inspiring person,
And you're one of the people
(if not the person)
I admire most in the world.
You mean a lot more to me than I ever tell you.
We don't get into feelings a lot in person, I guess. It's just not part of our dynamic.
We talk about ideas and thoughts, but not necessarily how we feel about each other.

Often times before I go to sleep I think of you and miss you and want to cry a little because I think
We got lost for too long during our relationship, and I never actually got to tell you
That I love you
In a really special way that I don't think I'll ever love anyone else.
You've probably influenced my beliefs and the way I think more than anyone else,
And I'm really grateful for it,
Because no matter where we are in relation to each other, I always have a really strong connection to you,
Because a little bit of you is a part of me.

I really really hope you do live to be a hundred, or better a hundred and ten, like you said.
Don't start thinking like you're old- you're only as old as you feel.
I like to see you as eternal,
Like a tall tree that has seen every storm and sunny day,
That's always comfortingly there to support you or shelter you as the weather requires.
I know you're not, but I like to see you that way.
Even though I've seen your flaws and weaknesses as I've gotten older,
In my heart you always remain the person
Whose every word I followed without question out on the rocks or in the woods
Because I knew you'd keep me safe.
I guess I really want you to know that, because I've said a lot of things,
But never that you're more important to me than you think you are,
Or that I respect you a lot more than I let on,
Or that sometimes when I'm tired and my day has ****** I want a hug from you so much that I could cry.
In a weird way, you might be the person I'm closest to intellectually and spiritually and philosophically.
I just want you to know that that trust you had from me as a child
Isn't gone at all,
And neither is how much I love you.
I hope I meet many people in my life as extraordinary as you, but I sort of doubt I will.
Even though you have qualities I disagree with,
And you make mistakes,
The way you live your life is something I strive for,
And something I admire.
Every little girl's dad is their hero,
And my childhood sort of prevented me from telling you
That you're mine.