It is 98 degrees outdoors
I see children running around screaming, but all I hear is silence
I am shivering from the coolness of my surroundings
The sun is blaring onto the concrete, yet I step outside barefoot with no pain towards my nerves
I am numb.

My thoughts are tired of themselves
The aching of my brain equates to the pain fixated into my body..
The softness in my soul..
The lack of empathy that everybody has around me
The voice that is caught in my throat
Is screaming for therapy
I am shivering but it isn't cold outside
I am sleeping from daylight to the night
I am losing my complete appetite
My body, mind, soul, and heart are all frozen
How am I supposed to grow when my petals are in captivity
Please help me..
Please come and get into my shoes.

You want to know why I love poetry?
Because it is my escape.
My words will never get up and leave me
My thoughts will never mentally abuse me
My writing will never undermine me

You want to know why I love poetry?
Because it is my distraction.
My intrusion into reality
With the mindset that I have
And the personality that I carry
It's easy for anyone to overreach me

Sometimes I wish I didn't have my heart
Or my mind.. my thoughts
But how else would I have become a poet?

My soul is impatient
My body is shaken
Give me time for minutes is all I need.. but I don't have enough
I'm young but time is escaping me
My own self is generally disabling me
Wasted signs, wasted rhymes, wasted cries

All the time that was given and the pain that was forsaken towards you
Through all the emotional wounds and discomfort , I still forgive you
But the time.. that is something that I can never get back
All that while that has been misspent on you

Sadly now I'm just on my own.

I lost all of my beliefs
Since the day that I lost my father
And only the Lord is helping with my grief
What if the world is hopeless
And I tell you that I am scared to be alone?
What if humanity is done for and we're all surviving solely?
It's just a story.. or a dream
But I see the message within the idea of truth
I know things are beautiful and there are good hearts
Despite this, I am still on my own
I've been ill-treated by most so I've come to that point
Where I'm not afraid to be alone anymore.. in fact..
Please leave me by myself and my thoughts.
I just want to be alone.

My personality undershadows my deen, my beliefs
And that's when I figured that all is forgiven and that I am unshaken
I am giving my poetry my all, I'm being vulnerable
Something that not only am I not comfortable with
But not in favor of
I don't even feel like my body is controlling me
Like I'm some sort of doll
Getting tossed around to meet high expectations
Of individuals I do not care for
Of distance I didn't request for
Of advice I didn't beg for
I need things given to me because I'm simply afraid to ask
I am in pain and reign
Only needing to be tamed
And to be put out of my fame
I don't want anyone to know me..
I want to remain a mystique in reality
My individuality has torn me down systematically
Or maybe I am mistaken
Because this is my time.

I hope I make it out of here
This feels like a dungeon of disbelief
An anomaly, a disparity..from what I'm used to
Isn't it lovely?
How the sky can be so sunny
And the oceans can be so blue
Yet the mind can be in tormented agony
And the heart fails to fall through