How is it that I write such words
Healing others through my poetry
Yet my poems do not help me
The one in need

- 06/08/19

Lately I've been distracting myself
So I don't have to feel what I feel
Lately I've put emotions to the side
So I don't have to feel what I feel

It's hard living when you're depressed
And what's the point of being sad?
I constantly remind myself that it's just a waste of time
But sometimes
It catches up to me

- 07/14/19

I told you to leave me alone
To get away from me
I'm having an awful time
I am not in the right state of mind

But you kept going
You kept pushing
You didn't think to care how I felt
You wanted to get your pleasure

You went down so low
That you went out of your way
To mess up a girls life
A girl you didn't even know

A girl you had never met before
Just someone who was pretty
Someone who had "the body"
I am ashamed of you. *******.
**** anyone who knows of your true self.
And lastly, **** anyone who ever supported you.
You don't deserve to have a joyful life.

- 08/21/19

Once upon a time
I was stuck in a tunnel
More deep than you may realize
It was like a maze
And those grieving were the ones
Stuck inside

As time had passed
The tunnel had grown
Deeper & deeper I got stuck
With no aid
No guidance
I had just given up

Then came along a boy
He was the light through the tunnel
The aid that was needed
The angel set out for me

He held my hand
Took me through the dirt
Across the horizons
And showed me life

This is a story of the time I felt
Happy
Pure
Loved.

But sadly we don't talk anymore.

- 02/22/19

They don't give, but they want, they take
The cycle restarts
They don't listen, but they hear, they tell
The cycle repeats
Continuously asking yourself
"Where did I go wrong"

Regrets filling up your mind
You're looking for the bright little light to shine
In the shadow of the darkness
In the depth of the sea
Continuously asking yourself
"What the hell is wrong with me"

You'd ride or die for anybody that comes your way
Deep down, thinking that's a mistake
Not realizing it's merely an act of positivity
That quickly turns into a bad habit
A negative neglection
An addictive obsession
Continuously asking yourself
"When will I learn my lesson"

Going day by day,
Dragging yourself at the slowest pace
Your depression taking over your mind
Your questions taking over your conscience
Your actions taking over your heart
It's all yours
You control it all but you don't understand
And you continuously ask yourself
"When will I realize?"

- 01/06/19

12 years old, the age of curiosity
The age of tenderness, affection, and joy
Getting grown now
This is when you're told that life is not a toy.

You think you're so old
Until tragedy hits you
Suddenly you don't feel so bold
You're aweary, restrained, suffocating
And life is cold
You feel as if you're just going to fold

You grow older, 13,14,15,16,17.
You hit 18.
You realize life is just an anomaly
Everyone around you is a stranger
And the saddest part is,
You are your own stranger.

You spend years looking for yourself,
But have you tried looking for oneself
Through things besides media?
Besides games, besides education and people
Who don't care about you
Who don't love you
Who don't want you

You flip the switch
You try your best
Life took its toll
Now you're here.
You're in the moment.
But within a second
That moment is gone

And suddenly you're on your own.
Just like the day you were born
All alone.
You hear the horn
And now your life has ended

You wasted your time looking for things
You realize that those things didn't do you any good
You cling onto your life .. what you have left
But it's too late now
Ya Allah
Save me from the hellfire

I took my own life for those that I truly admire.

- 10/13/18

Look at that photograph
Of that typical beautiful girl
Who hides her pains behind her smile
Her actions behind her words

Take a look in her brain
And you'll see a whole different side of her
Constant questions of self-worth
Heightening self-deprivation

But through the photo
You don't realize
Her mother was abusive
Her father was dead
Her brothers were just like her mother
She was alone

And that is the gift of pictures
They never share the deeper meaning
Of the story you would like to share
But were never able to

- 02/22/19