I haven't really laughed since 2009
He said,
He then divulged his struggles
As did I
We spoke of the mutual regret about not keeping in touch
But with conflicting schedules, relocations and studies
It is comprehensible we veered in opposite directions and lost contact

My estranged bestfriend

We reminiscenced about the time when we were school kids
In stiff shirts, massive floppy hats
And giant blazers we practically drowned in
How eager we were to go home
When the siren went off at 3:05pm
The shanenigans at the pavilion
In sixth form
When we were the lords of the academy

A strong grip on my giant mug as if it were the holy grail
Huddled in the corner of a cozy eatery

In his company once again
it felt as though I had arrived home where fire burns incessantly in the fire place
On a winter's night

We laughed about my truancy
And how he got kicked out of the rugby team on account of his rather lanky physique
He imitated our biology teacher and tears flowed down my cheeks
That kind of laughter
You feel in your core
And your whole body shakes

So captivated by the various discussions
We both forgot to sip on our steaming beverages

He narrated a few short stories about the events
that have taken place since we last conversed
I in turn narrated mine or lack thereof
He emphatically tilted his head to the side
God, I had missed those gestures of his
It all came flooding back
His mannerisms
The way he moves his hands when he speaks  as if he is trying to literally hold the conversation

For what seemed like a lifetime
Before saying goodbye
Dead-eyed
We stared into each other's eyes
Almost as if to telepathically say
Do you remember the time
When we were so alive.

Serenity under the ripe lurid sun
The steady breeze of air
From the mountain peak
Created sublime hymns
of rebirth and restoration
And filled the chasm in my heart
Through and through

Enclosed in auroras majestic luminescence
Weightless and lionhearted
Unconstrained by trivialities
Of everyday obligations
I pondered on the authenticity
Of new found clarity

As I fed on the tantalizing
aroma of euphoria
I savoured each breath

When I emerged
From the picturesque surrounds
I prayed I had abandoned all my convictions
In the field of yellow stained daffodils

Lungs inflate
The whistle of the biting wind
Hauntingly stilling
Moss covered mountains
Colliding with the sky
Enveloped in unruffled grandeur
Far from the shore's strife
The golden hue above, glimmering
On waters that lie calm
Softened
In the centre of winter

December
Sashayed in
With soft shivers
Down my spine
Stilling the blood
Coursing through veins
Gathering bones
Trepidations
And faculties
Gathering all these things
Turn my face towards
The bright white
The reverie falling
Behind me
Like shadows.

Some nameless deflation
In the pitch black
The tapestry
Of deceit
Meticulously strung
Of the softest words ever spoken
The dead embrace
A body
A thing
Shrouded in mystery
I care not to unearth
I couldn't love you
You were a small war.

I stopped writing about love
When I realised  
I am incapable of
Discerning between people who love me
And people who lie to me.