Turn the wheel into the sun. Forget the stars. Forget the wind. Forget the way the waves are weeping. I am not coming home.

We are never again what we once were. And I am not sorry for it.

Some of them end before the music can even start. And we are left somehow, like monks, pinching book spines like vertebrae. Seeing if we can find our ability to
Stand.
Up.
In words.

Most days.

I am only words.

But some days, I am more.

Some days, the thought of those ivory temples run me up masts..

I am stretched out. Arms wide. Accepting the storm. Ragged.
(Stronger for it. Unafraid to unravel more.)
Inventing time. Investing it back.
Some days. I am yards of cloth, fighting history.

And when my sea is calm:
Puff your cheeks and blow on my spine.
For motion.

I am still.

I am calm.

I am still calm.

I am still calmly waiting.

It's worth mentioning that we never made love.

Now. Everything is different.

I am listening to an ***** grinder, playing my heart on his sleeve. Taking light from my future and shedding it on my past. Saying, "What happened? Where did you go?"

And I try to answer back but find my throat dry and only able to mutter, "I can't feel you, Lord. I can't feel you."

Some days I am lost.

Is it fair, when asked what happened, to say, "She did. Calliope happened to me."?

Start the music. Let the carousel turn. I am not coming home.

Is it fair to say that I am better now. But not always better for it.

I am walking a tightrope of strength and..

Something else. Something else entirely.

Now, I am tired. I am at a loss for words. I am sinking into the oldest crimes in the oldest ways and creating my own wooden chest. You are on it. Carved. Etched. Playing in my mind like laughter on the really cold days. Your fingerprints matching the grain. A petal for each flower I picked trying to fix it.

And this is how it will end. It was this way before it even began. When we found our faults on the back of each others lips with our tongues.

Thank you for teaching me the opposite side of love.

And this is how I will end it.

I will be words. And action. And learn to touch with passion. Learn to make love, like sounds strung together. Masterful. Seamless. As to seem less important. like lyrics. Like an aria. Rising and falling like tides to my mast. Lips pressed and cheeks puffed. And arms outstretched like a horizon to sail into.

And all wonderful happy lies.

I will be more. In hopes of forgetting that briefly.. I once more allowed myself to be less.

And found my self wondering, If it was me who slipped through your fingers... or you who slipped through mine...

I once allowed myself to seem less.

I guess...

I just needed to get you off my chest.

I could lay here and wonder a million times over
What it is that keeps you smiling and sober
But nothing in the world could change what
Your eyes have seen and ears have heard

I could lay here and listen for a thousand whispers long since lost in space
But like the wavelengths of the words never said; I cannot hear a single trace.
I know what you feel hurts you to endure- so
I will run to cease the pain for you.

I could lay here and hurriedly paddle down the river of tears flowing from your eyes
Like waterfalls every drop is a reenactment of the rapids reflected in mountain skies
Falling as fast as they are rushed out of broken wishing wells straight from your heart
I cannot tell you how much I want to save you from the pain tearing you apart

Let me heal the wounds you keep mercilessly opening up
I want to stop the blood from rushing out of your soul
I want to keep you safe-I want you to heal-I want you to be okay
Stay with me, please- stay with me, I know I can help you if you'd just let me

Let your walls break down and open the curtains of your barrier
Let me in
Let me in
Let me in.

**Let me save you.

i am tired of being
scared to fight for
what i want, but i
am too tired of
being rejected
to fight for
you.

I'm feeling like a tree
Drifting on endlessly
I told you here's the world
I gave you everything.
All of the dark deceit
It seems to get to me
But then I'm like a tree
My roots they run too deep.
I stand and fight to pray
And live in everyday
I stand by you not hide
I swear my eyes don't play.
I'm feeling like a tree
Drifting on endlessly
I told you here's the world
I gave you everything.
My heart it will not die
I see you with my eyes
And with your love I bloom
The tree who's loves not shy.

I can be your liquor.
Drink me down and feel the high.
Its you and I and whatever happens tonight.
The blurred lines and the euphoric fright
of getting into all of our passions.
I can be your liquor.
Fill you up with anger, disgust.
The feelings lost to the alcohol distrust.
The forgotten happy with I and lust
now in the midst of solving our problems.
I can be your liquor.
When its winter, spring, summer.
I can be that go to spirit to hear your thunder.
That happy go lucky, feelings without the blunders
Only memories that follow.
I can be your liquor.
Take me down and love me.
I can be the death of you,
or merely just an addiction.

I found the prettiest of roads covered in red tulips and white daisies.  
With large willow trees that hid behind the fog in the morning.
I found the deepest part of the ocean and swam to the bottom of the sea...
Where I found purple reefs that covered everything around me.
And on my journey I came across an old elderly couple living a top of a golden hill.
In a stone house with flowers surrounding a wishing well.
They told me stories of distant lands and kingdoms past.
Of riches and jewels that glittered in the sun and how material items could never last.
They asked me about my life and I told them about you and your green eyes.
And your perfect smile and sandy blonde hair; I even told them about the lies.
And they smiled gently and kissed me cheek and sent me on my way.
Because they knew that even on this beautiful journey I would run back to you one day...
Because love is greater than all things big and small.
Loving you is my only real downfall.

I treasure those eyes the best, so lovely each night. Long lashes fluttering with your trademarked twisted elegance. I trace your skinny hips and kiss your scarlet  lips, we lay  close and and whisper across the quiet divide. I sit  inhaling smoke and exhaling pretty words that roll off the tip of my tongue, sliding down the floor boards. Drinking, spinning in sickly sweet light. I can tell  them, always trusting the people I meet, dancing to the sweet spot. Wicked am I, missing the saunter of those long lovely  legs. Trapped a loop of taunting, teasing laughter. We all talk crazy, tangled and comfortable in each others hair, this is the closest to perfection I've ever been.