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 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
trait
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
i have been
clothesline dreaming
screaming fits, saying
i've prayed, praying i'll
say what i mean and
you've been that
poetry pouring out of me
a bleeding but you are the
portions of a reality
i only see when i sleep
my god, it's been
seventy weeks, oh
and the colors i cannot see past
twelve shades of torture your body makes
anytime you do anything
it's all
brown and green and mean to me
i mean i need it
it feeds me i mean
i don't think you mean to
i think it's just
me meeting me sometimes &
that's meaningful right ?
tell that to me at night
to the dark and stars and all of the
quiet questions i guess i guessed the
answers to
tell that to me in my bedroom
ask me the time this time &
i'll tell you about that time i thought about love and saw a burning bed
ask me again and i'll show you
say love again, love
i've been dying to show you
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
the poetry wasn't about her
it was the birds I;
I found it under her bones
cause
we aren't the same while we sleep
we're
so far away &

lately
4:00AM isn't what time it is
it's
me choking
and when we
talk about the weather it's not
conversation it's
burning and
blood just doesn't run the same
once it's been touched
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
gold
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
silver linings don't exist honey;
those are your veins
/Julie Butler
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
tidal
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
I fell for you
like i'd been dropped
& what a mess i've made
of myself

I should have to
apologize to my lungs
for ever needing
my heart to breathe;

I've been deceived
by my own beating
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
Emilia

What a beauty I saw
as you strutted on past me
Singing a 70's tune on the sidewalk
looking absolutely classy
Your hair was long
and your skirt, kinda flashy
your eyes were set free
from your cute little glasses
your voice was like a blade
you sliced me like an apple
you were a glowing caramel latte
in a crowd full of *******
I remember your presence
luminescent as the moon
over a castle in the forest
and how you light up every room
you're in my blood like we're one body
I rep you proud with a tattoo
there's not a day that I don't miss you
or a minute wishing I didn't have to
my soul sister
my best friend
who lives too far
and i can't stand it
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
begin
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
I have a love
I've grown to know
this love it is the best
it kisses all my fingers
it lays atop my chest
I have a love
that's sensitive
this love
swallows the rest
because this love
is not obsessed
it  leaves me un-repressed
I have a love
I'll say again
this love is like a pen
it writes to me
incessantly
& so
I
let
it
in
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
I guess I know just what you're thinking
But you know not of what I do
When I'm sitting in my room
Daydreaming only about you
I guess you feel a little foolish
I guess I acted like a fool
I wish you knew how I was feeling
I wish you knew it's all for you
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
books
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
I don't believe that I was forward
but you pointed straight ahead
and I didn't insinuate our ***
but you gave me head in my bedroom
your legs, those legs
should not leave my blankets
your hair smelled like fall does
& your chest made me anxious
you laid there like a goddess
I should have hand fed you grapes
you stole my night and my morning
I should have asked you to stay
but it's okay
now it's daytime and i'm keeping myself busy
you left your smell on my fingers
& it's making me dizzy
I smiled as you left
& when you walked out the door
I saw your car leave the yard
& your ******* on my floor
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
apace
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
nowadays
wondering is starting to feel more like fear
& if I can't be near you
then I don't want to feel it
it's driving me crazy
and I can't find my brakes
I spend too much time
wasted
my thoughts get blotched in outer space
& just in case you ever wonder
how I feel about your face
i fear i feel a bit too much
and praise the day I get to face it
& anyway
I'd never say it
I can't say anything I want
cause I don't even think you want it
and my want's just aren't enough
i need out of my head
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
light
 Feb 20 Nina
Julie Butler
I want to be that thing for you
when water reflects all the scenery above it
I image cypress
to be dimensionless
that's what I want
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